Although I am a mere attorney, without the expertise of psychologists, I firmly
believe in your theory, Joy. I have been telling clients and others who would
listen that we cannot put a price tag on the emotional cost of litigation or
the benefit of being finished with the disputes. I look forward to reading the
article to learn more. Thanks for sharing this with all of us.
Sent from my iPhone
Bob Merlin
On May 25, 2014, at 8:43 AM, "Joy Dryer
jdryerphd@xxxxxxxxx<mailto:jdryerphd@xxxxxxxxx> [CollabLaw]"
<CollabLaw@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx<mailto:CollabLaw@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>> wrote:
Dear Colleagues:
When I got home tonight, I began to leaf thru the NYT Sunday Magazine for 25
May. The Magazine reports about all aspects of the body,
from dieting to bacteria to cancer to PTSD [appropriate for remembering vets on
Memorial Day].
I was drawn to the article “How do you heal a traumatized mind?” by Jeneen
Interland:
http://www.nytimes.com/2014/05/25/magazine/a-revolutionary-approach-to-treating-ptsd.html?_r=0
I highly recommend it to you: it’s a fine summary of Bessel van der Kolk’s
history and main theory that trauma is held by, and in, the body.
“The mind follows the body.” [not the reverse].
He makes several important points noted in this article:
1. There may be a difference between trauma and Trauma, i.e.
long-term, chronic abuse and
neglect [which he calls developmental trauma disorder] and one-off acute
traumatic event[s].
The body may respond with a similar destructive cycle:
2. When faced with a threat, our amygdala in our limbic system’s emotional
center, triggers the release of hormones
[e.g. adrenaline, cortisol ] which cause
our hearts to beat faster and gives us energy to fight or flight or freeze.
3 . “But if the threat isn’t vanquished..” “… the amygdala keeps sounding the
alarm, i.e., we keep producing stress hormones
which wreaks havoc on...our bodies.”
4. “Memories of the traumatic event invade patients’ subconscious thoughts,
sending them back into fight-or-fight at the slightest provocation.”
5. “They take leave of their bodies, …cannot describe their own physical
sensations,” i.e. self-numb.
6. Treatment’s goal “should be to resolve this disconnect…by helping
patients tolerate their own bodily sensations, then they’ll
be able to process the trauma
themselves.”
I am now applying this conceptualization to a subspecialty of mine. For me,
this article so underlines my growing conviction, over the past
few years, for the need to inform
and to educate other professionals to help our patients understand the
emotional basics when considering
separation and/or divorce. It’s so clear to me that going to
court traumatizes both spouses. A “litigating” attorney [consult with a
surgeon, and you’ll
likely end up in surgery --] might promise X amount of money in alimony, or to
retain full time residential custody of children…
but s/he’ll not likely warn a prospective
client that the win-loose, black- white litigation process could possibly
create a PTSD like reaction in the client!
That’s why I’m such a strong advocate of the non-court Mediation or
Collaborative Divorce processes that help avoid “amygdala hijacks”:
the mutual, respectful,
client-centered processes help “lower the volume” and keeps the focus on the
client’s rational, executive functioning
frontal-orbital lobe ‘on-line’ so s/he can gather the data and
examine options needed to make well-informed decisions.
Well, at any rate, on this Memorial weekend, take a look at this article:
it may help us all deepen our “witnessing” – even celebration –
of our veterans of both foreign
wars as well as childhood wars.
Have a memorable Memorial Day.
Joy
Joy A. Dryer Ph.D.
Clinical Psychologist/ Psychoanalyst
Divorce Coach/ Mediator/Parent Coordinator
•92 Remsen St. Ste 1A, B'lyn Heights NY 11201
•333 East 43 St, Suite 1, NYC 10017
•31 Collegeview Avenue Poughkeepsie, N.Y.
12603
www.divorcecoachny.com<http://www.divorcecoachny.com/>
www.psychotherapyworksny.com<http://www.psychotherapyworksny.com/>
jdryerphd@xxxxxxxxx<mailto:jdryerphd@xxxxxxxxx>
917-816-8882
