[cabs103] Laughs

  • From: "jim and troyann" <jandtbanas@xxxxxxxxx>
  • To: "Paul Zang" <pzang@xxxxxxx>, "tina durgan" <tkdurg@xxxxxxxxx>,"Roger Cook" <Roger_Cook@xxxxxxxx>, "Matt Janer" <MGJaner@xxxxxxx>,"Mary Lovik" <lovikm@xxxxxxxxxxxx>, "j j j" <cabs103@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
  • Date: Wed, 26 Feb 2003 12:18:44 -0500

> 1. Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that
> > person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
> >
> > 2. Some people are like Slinkies . . . not really good for
> > anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble
> > down the stairs.
> >
> > 3. I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to
> > the end and I think, "Well, that's not going to happen."
> >
> > 4. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in
> > hospitals dying of nothing.
> >
> > 5. The other night I ate at a real family restaurant. Every table
> > had an argument going.
> >
> > 6. Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no
> > one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?
> >
> > 7. According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they
> > notice about a woman is their eyes, and women say the first thing they
> 
> > notice about men is they're a bunch of liars.
> >
> > 8. Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
> >
> > 9. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no
> > attention to criticism.
> >
> > 10. Have you noticed that a slight tax increase costs you two
> >   hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?
> >
> > 11. In the 60's people took acid to make the world weird. Now the
> > world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
> >
> > 12. Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I
> > have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the
> > first.
> >
> > 13. There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers
> > exactly  what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will
> instantly
> >disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and
> > inexplicable.  There is another theory which states that this has
> already happened.
> >
> > 14. How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it
> > takes a whole box to start a campfire?
> >
> > 15. You read about all these terrorists--most of them came here
> > legally, but they hung around on these expired visas, some for as long
> 
> > as 10-15 years.  Now, compare that to Blockbuster: you're two days
> late with a
> > video and those people are all over you. Let's put Blockbuster in
> > charge of immigration.
Jim Banas
jandtbanas@xxxxxxxxx
God Bless America

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