As a long-time fan of puns I just posted these to my Facebook timeline.
On 8/2/2016 2:47 PM, Lisa Belville wrote:
Oh, a nice comic relief for this list. Thanks.
Lisa
Lisa Belville
missktlab1217@xxxxxxxxxxxx
Never make the same mistake twice. There are so many new ones, try a different one each day.
----- Original Message ----- From: "Richard Driscoll" <llocsirdsr@xxxxxxx>
To: "Kay Mitchell" <krmitch@xxxxxxxxxxx>
Sent: Tuesday, August 02, 2016 11:02 AM
Subject: [blind-democracy] Puns
For Your Information and Guidance.
PUNS FOR EVERYONE!
How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.
Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!
A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.
I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.
England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool .
I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.
I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.
Jokes about German sausages are the wurst.
I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid, but he says he
can stop any time.
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it
dawned on me.
This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club,
but I'd never met herbivore.
When chemists die, apparently they barium.
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.
I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on
words.
I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job
because she couldn't control her pupils?
When you get a bladder infection you know urine trouble.
Broken pencils are pretty much pointless.
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A
thesaurus.
I dropped out of the Communism class because of lousy Marx.
All the toilets in New York 's police stations have been
stolen. As of now, it appears the police have nothing to go on.
I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
Velcro - what a rip off !
