<USS Avalon> "Twisted Minds"
- From: Lyryn Cate <wistful_fancy@xxxxxxxxx>
- To: avalon@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Sat, 29 Jan 2005 19:52:12 -0800 (PST)
Twisted Minds
By Commander Skyler
and Senior Lieutenant Elissabeth Marksbury
She almost didn't know what to do with her time. Elijah had handled everything
in the security offices so well, that other than some reports she quickly read
through, there wasn't a lot to accomplish that day. The Covert Ops crew had
the day to recover.
After staring at the wall for several minutes, trying to focus on something
besides the man in the dark, she stood and decided to go see Skyler. It had
been a couple days since she'd had contact with her. Lissi hadn't wanted to
bother her, had wanted to give her time to look through Celeste's things, but
she thought Skyler would've talked to her by now.
Sitting in her room, drinking tea, Skyler was watching some of the holo vids
that Lyryn...or Lissi had brought over. It was so strange to hear her mother's
voice after so many years. To see her face, her eyes and her smile. She also
saw several vids where she saw herself as a child playing with another child
who had her mother's eyes. She watched the vids and held the bear that the
younger girl was hitting her with and suddenly it came washing all over her.
Without realizing it she thought loudly in her head, "NO, How could I have
forgotten. Lyryn? ...How could I have forgotten about a sister?..." She placed
her hands over her eyes and just let the tears flow. She finally was beginning
to believe that she did have a sister.
The intrusion into her mind was cold and unpleasant at first... so different
from Tel. But the feeling passed and she quickened her pace to Skyler's
quarters. It was so odd how she knew just when to be there as Skyler needed
her. Lissi didn't bother to ring the chime and just walked right into Skyler's
room.
The woman was sitting in the midst of the contents from Melanie's boxes strewn
everywhere. A vid of the young girls playing with a teddy bear together was on
screen and Skyler was sobbing.
Lissi didn't hesitate sitting next to her and wrapping her in a tight hug.
Skyler didn't even look up when she felt a pair of arms holding her. She just
knew who it was. "Lyryn, it's all true, everything! All this time I had a
sister and didn't even realize it. How could I do that?" Skyler just held on
tight to Lyryn....almost as life preserver or an anchor.
"You were young and scared. The mind is a tricky thing and we both know it,"
she said simply. "The point is not to dwell on it, but move on and claim the
time with her you have now, isn't it?" Lissi didn't let go of her. She almost
wished that Skyler would stop calling her Lyryn. Every time she did, her
thoughts wandered back to Tel, though she was still trying to convince herself
it was a dream.
Something was nagging Skyler at the back of her mind. Lyryn or Lissi was
different. She felt like there was someone hiding within Lissi. Skyler turned
around and looked at her for a moment. "Is everything okay with you and don't
tell me it's nothing, because I can tell there is something. You helped me now
let me help you."
"I don't know what you mean," she said, sitting back on her heels. "I finally
finished with training and I'm just waiting now. No stress for the first time
in a week. Maybe that's what's different."
"No, that's not it. There is something definitely different now. I don't know
if it is because of the connection we now seem to have or what, but I know or
can see that there is something going on." Skyler didn't want to go into her
mind again knowing how much pain it caused her, but if would help her then she
might just risk it. She would do anything for her friend especially now.
"Skyler, I'm fine, really. Look at me." Lissi waited until Skyler did so, her
red-rimmed eyes staring into Elissabeth's light green ones. "See? I'm just
fine. I still have headaches now and again, but overall, I feel as well as
ever."
Skyler looked at her friend with some doubt. She may be physically fine but
there was something different. She could sense it, feel it. For the moment she
was going to leave it alone, but she would get to the bottom of it. "So how is
your training? Everything working out okay with James, I believe his name is?"
"Training's over and things with James are... nice," she smiled slightly,
remembering their recent night together. "We hit some tough spots... it's not
easy dating your second in command, which I never wanted to do in the first
place. But I think we'll be okay."
"Things are nice... what happened to being in love with him? I know I was out
of it for awhile, but I do recall that you were rather serious about him. Has
something or someone changed that?" Skyler knew that something was not right.
It was almost like she was talking to two entirely different people. One she
knew from the future and one from the present. There was a distance of some
kind and Skyler could feel it.
Lissi looked surprised. "Skyler, I never said I was in love with James."
"You didn't have to say it, your thoughts and actions spoke louder than words.
Remember who you are talking to here. I am not just some ordinary smuck who
doesn't know a thing or two. If it isn't James, then it is someone else."
"Of course you're not. And who else could there possibly be?" She shook her
head, deliberately trying to push her mind as far away from Tel as possible.
"Anthony asked me to be the 'best woman' at his wedding," she said, in attempts
to change the subject.
"So Anthony and Alder are finally going to tie the knot? Good for them. Perhaps
you will find that special someone and do the same? It might not be James, but
I am sure there is someone who has captured your heart. I can feel it."
...Lyryn why are you trying to hide something from me? We both know that you
can't. I can tell that there is something different.....
The colder, cover ops side of her literally shoved Skyler out of her mind.
"Stay out of my head," she said softly, though her words were edged with ice.
It wasn't a tone or look that Skyler had seen since their very first encounter.
"What happened to the Lyryn I met from the Tempest, the one who didn't want to
hurt any of us? Now you are cold and uncaring. Now I know there is something
wrong with you, and you aren't going to get away with it so easy." Skyler
shoved herself right back into Lyryn's head. Lyryn Cate...Lt. Lyryn Cate why
are you being so cold, so distant? I am not going anywhere so you might as well
get used to it...
Lyryn shoved back again. "I've always been like this. It's Lissi you're
friends with. Leave me out of it." Her words nearly hissed like a frightened
cat. She was on her feet and to the door before Skyler could get over the
shock and utter a word.
Skyler knew what was nagging at her all this time. She was sensing two distinct
personalities. "Lissi... come back and sit down. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to
upset you. Come back and we can talk." She hoped she reached the right person
because it felt like she was losing a friend and she couldn't afford that now.
She still needed Lissi...
Elissabeth was horrified at what had just happened. She responded to Skyler's
mental intrusions instinctively and she hadn't done that with anyone for
ages... except her first contact with Tel. He brought that darkness out in
her.
All the anger faded, and her face softened. "I'm so sorry. By the gods,
Skyler, I'm sorry." She placed her hand over her lips to bite back the bitter
tears that were forming.
Skyler stood up and walked over to Lissi and wrapped her arms around her. "It's
okay Lissi, it's okay. I shouldn't have pushed so hard. I'm the one who is
sorry. I have a feeling I know what you are going through and I am not going
anywhere. You were there for me and I am going to be here for you, no matter
what." She led Lissi over to the sofa and then got her a cold glass of water.
She wiped her tears away and waited until she was better situated.
She took a deep breath. "This is gonna sound crazy, Skyler. Hell, I think I
might be crazy. But you remember me telling you that I remembered everything,
but that the time where the two identities merged became kinda fuzzy... Well,
they're easier to separate now. A little too easy. I don't know what
happened... if maybe the intensity of the training did it, or you calling me
Lyryn... I just see how much I've changed. I literally have two different sets
of memories and therefore, personalities inside my head. And... you see what
it can do sometimes." She closed her eyes, surprised that she could put it all
out there like that. And even then, the explanation didn't do it justice
because it left out how she felt... left out who she wanted to be. "At first,
it was like a combination of the two and now... now it's like near opposites."
Skyler looked at Lissi and then held her hand. "I know it can be tough, but you
are not going crazy. It sounds sorta like how I felt when I couldn't remember
my sister. If you want, I can help you learn to control both personalities.
It's obvious that the Lyryn personality is stronger than the Lissi one, but we
can work to make them work together if that is what you want."
Skyler felt for her friend, she knew what she was feeling, only in a slightly
different way.
"It should be stronger, it's who I am. Elissabeth is some made up name with
some made up history. She's weak and ... cares about people. She's too
attached to things."
"There is nothing wrong with being attached to things or caring about people.
Am I weak for caring about you or Lyryn? If you stop and think about it we
really aren't that different. We both share some of the same memories from both
personalities, and yet we have remained friends. I hope with both Lissi and
Lyryn. That is a choice you have to make and I am not going to force myself on
you, but we are connected and I don't think that bond will ever be broken. Can
you live with that? I can."
"We'll have to see, Skyler." She stood quickly, as if being that close to
Skyler confused her. "I'm glad to see you're feeling better."
"Lissi, wait. What's wrong now? You act like you are afraid of me." Skyler
didn't know what to do or to say. She wanted to reach out and touch her friend
but knew that she would just pull back, just as she did when Skyler was in her
head. Skyler wanted, no needed, her friend and it didn't matter if it was Lissi
or Lyryn. They needed each other even if they didn't believe it yet.
"I have to get back to work. I'll talk to you soon." She left quickly,
leaving Skyler staring after her with even more questions swimming in her mind.
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