<USS Avalon> "Masquerade"
- From: Lyryn Cate <wistful_fancy@xxxxxxxxx>
- To: avalon@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Tue, 25 Jan 2005 20:52:46 -0800 (PST)
Masquerade
By Senior Lieutenant Elissabeth Marksbury
and The Shadow
In the center of the city...
Marksbury stood in the dimly lit observation room of the security training
holodeck and watched. She had been watching intently for hours, the team going
through several exercises - every one of which were stacked against them. They
were as unfair as she could possibly make them. And several of them didn?t even
have a solution by her design.
Comes the illusion of the day...
She had been pleased with their progress. The teams had taken to Hollander and
Eckstein well, integrating them into the fold as if they had been there all
along. The two had added an expertise to the group and together, they were
stepping up to the challenges.
When everything looks pretty...
She paced in front of the one way mirror, mentally pushing them through the
exercises, prodding them to go further than she ever expected. They were
learning that to play by the rules isn?t always the solution. They were
learning how to cheat. They were learning how to beat her.
It?s easy to think you?ve found the way...
And as she watched, she knew she was being watched.
But it?s all just a big masquerade.*
In that dark room, her thoughts inevitably turned to him. Why he affected her
so, she didn?t know. But he did. The thought of his presence crawled under her
skin, begging to be acknowledged, begging to be summoned. And yet, by every
right, every means, she should?ve killed him as she had the chance.
She stood there in that dim ambiance staring at her subordinates. They were
going above the call of duty and earning her respect whether she herself wanted
to believe it or not. He admired that. It was apparent that she was aware of
his presence as she slowly tensed when he materialized feet behind her. The
humming of his molecules being reassembled had been diminished, but she was too
good not to notice.
He took a step forward, the echo of the single solitary footstep enough to draw
her attention further. His breathing was the frosting on the cake, and he
folded his arms in the darkness. "They're impressive. Any department head
would be happy to have a team as unified and diverse as that. It's truly a
blessing. You should be proud of what they've accomplished."
She swallowed, wondering if her thoughts had called him to her. It was a giddy
feeling of power and yet, frightening. "Find what you were looking for?" she
asked in a whisper, not trusting herself to speak any louder.
"Yes, thank you," he longed to reach out and touch her. Women like her came
few and far between in his line of work. No, he had to stop thinking like he
was an agent. He was no longer that person. To be truthful, he wasn't anyone
at all. A shadow on the wall shrouded in darkness. "You should have no fear
of anybody else being hurt, you have my word that it won't happen."
"You already gave me your word." Why was he here? And like this? She closed
her eyes, blocking the view of the trainees. Lissi desperately wanted to turn
around and... and what? No, that wasn't possible.
"Why do you hide yourself away, Elissabeth?" His words were soft and caring, a
complete turnaround from the gruff assassin-like persona that he had the last
time they had spoken. What did she do to him? Alluring as she was, deadly as
she was, it had ceased to be a game of cat and mouse. Somehow, it had evolved
into something more.
His words sent a chill rippling over her body, spidering out through her veins.
Her face was hot and frozen at the same time, bringing an odd compliment of
tears to her eyes. She was not going to fall into that voice in the darkness.
She was better than that. "Why do you?" she countered.
"Because I was meant to be a forgotten name. I was meant to be the person who
is merely a figment of the imagination. A creaking step, a fading picture, the
rumor; they are all things that I am. What is your excuse?" The distance that
separated her and her team was more symbolic than the typical worker-queen
relationship. It wasn't just the pane of glass or the communication channel on
the comm, it was a void.
"I was trained to be a forgotten name. I was taught to be the person who is
merely a figment of the imagination. A creaking step, a fading picture, the
rumor. I am all those as well." She bowed her head, wondering why she told
those things to him, those things that she never even told James. The Shadow;
the faceless, nameless man, knew more about who she was than the man she was
beginning to think she loved.
There was a pause, an eternity. "Then you can understand why I did the things
I had to do. I can honestly say I have never been in the position of having
two lives inside of me fighting for dominance. Morals and training. Ethics
and experience." His compassion was genuine. As a matter of fact, it was more
so than any other feeling he'd had towards anyone before. "We are almost one
in the same."
"I don't know what you've done," she whispered again, "but I knew you had a
purpose. It's why I let you stay..." The sentence trailed away and she knew
it would be redundant to speak the many things he already knew. He was right.
They were one, and they had been ever since their verbal dance that night.
It was an incredible fight inside her and he knew it. Part of her wanted to
lash out and assault him... and the other part wanted to lash out and touch
him. And she knew that he was aware of it too. The implications were
disorienting. It didn't matter how much she closed herself away, how much she
withdrew, this man was there and he knew her down to the barest part of her
soul. And still loved her. Loved? Impossible.
He took a daring step closer to her - closer than they'd ever been before. He
leaned forward, his lips near her ear, and whispered, "You let me stay because
you couldn't bring yourself to kill me. I intrigue you more than anything has
intrigued you before. You lie awake thinking about me at night. And," he
paused, taking a breath, "I think about you too."
She stood completely still, not denying, perversely enjoying his presence more
than she would ever admit. The silence lasted another eternity. It was
amazing how time had no meaning when they were in a room together. They were,
and always would be, on the outside looking in.
Placing a hand on her shoulder, he took another breath. "I'm drawn to you,
Elissabeth," he said as his hand slid down her arm, slowly covering the
distance to her wrist with a delicate and romantic trail.
Again, that icy shiver traversed her body, only this time it left small fires
burning in its wake. She twisted out of his grasp, spinning two quick steps so
that she was now the one behind him. "You should leave."
He didn't move, instead he let his hand fall to his side. "Do you really want
me to leave?"
"Why do you bother asking questions you know the answer to?"
There was a small squeak as he pivoted on his heel to turn and face her.
"Honestly, Elissabeth, I don't think that you want me to leave. It is
unsettling, yes, but you are still conflicted. The touch of a man - someone on
your level - is something that you want and you know it. And now, when someone
can offer you that satisfaction you're yearning for, you turn away. Why?"
"What is your name?"
"Does it matter?"
"Only in the fact that you know any aspect of my life you choose to know, and
yet, won't give me the consession of knowing even your name." She was stalling
and she knew it. She was too analytical for her own good sometimes. Or maybe
it was for her own good. She didn't know anymore which side was up. She was
Alice through the looking glass.
"Tel."
She took a step closer to him and spoke words he already knew, but she had to
say. "My name is Lyryn."
"Yes, it is. Do you still want me to leave, Lyryn?" he asked, a smile emerging
onto his face, still concealed in darkness.
"And again, I ask, why do you bother asking questions you know the answer to?
Do you always talk this much?" He could hear the slight amusement in her voice
as she was falling into the role of the girl he knew she really was. She was
finally taking off the mask.
He reached up and let his bare hand, which was usually gloved, trace a line
down the side of her face. " 'In the middle of the journey of our lives I
found myself alone in a dark wood where the straight road had been lost'.
Dante Alighieri from Dante's Inferno. Appropriate for us, I think. A mantra,
if you will." So many years of searching had forced his life to the backseat.
Now, when the mission was over and the healing began, she appeared to him.
Her first impulse was to move his hand from her cheek and she reacted quickly,
firmly grabbing his wrist. But something...
It was an indescribable feeling of completion when her fingers slid up his
wrist to intertwine with his.
"See?" His left hand traced an identical path down the opposite cheek, his
right hand still wrapped with hers. An unusual sensation for him, but not
unwelcome. "Monroe can't make you feel like this, can he?"
"Leave him out of this. He cares for Elissabeth. Not me. He doesn't know
me." Her usually slow and steady rhythm of breathing had quickened. "You know
me. We are two sides to the same mask, are we not?"
"We are, and I wouldn't have it any other way." Without thinking, as if
controlled by his attraction to her, he leaned forward. In the darkness, he
pressed their lips together into the bond that he knew they were both looking
for. A soft and sensual token of their mutual appreciation for each other.
Her common sense, her analytical mind... neither of them were a factor anymore.
She followed her heart for the first time ever, allowing Tel to fill all those
empty places of her being. It was the most amazing kiss she had ever
experienced. It was the one she had been waiting for.
The taste of her lips lingered even after they had separated. They both shared
an exhale of pure exhilaration. A sudden beeping drew their attention. The
training simulation was over. "I have to go." He moved back towards the
corner of the room, gently pulling his hand away from hers. "I'll be thinking
about you. And, because I can, watching you too."
"You'll return?" It was barely a whisper. She hated to ask... but he said his
mission had been accomplished and she wanted, needed, to know when he was
leaving and taking part of her with him. It was an agonizing feeling of
separation as he pulled away from her.
"Of course I'll be back, nothing could keep me away from you. From us." He
rushed forward, kissing her passionately again before pulling away once more.
He couldn't reveal himself to her, not yet. There was too much mystery in
kissing a shrouded face and hearing a voice with no soul. Things would change
if she saw his face, matched the voice, and became his friend. No, he thought,
he must stay hidden.
And, as if the lingering eternity had just been given a violent shove, he was
gone again.
---------------------------------
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