[austechwriter] FW: Kids
- From: Warren Lewington <wjlewington@xxxxxxxxxxx>
- To: austechwriter@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Wed, 13 Aug 2003 10:02:34 +1000
I nearly laughed my stitches out. See below...
The first and (thankfully only now) op worked.
They can't graft the cartilage as the substrate required is too far
gone.
I have to live with what I have. My days are up and down, still very
sleepy though relatively drug and pain free, some good, some like this
morning are really average!
Thankyou all for your kind thoughts and I'll talk soon.
Regards everyone.
Warren.
PS Steve; Break a leg. The drugs they have now are awesome...
The funny:
Subject: Kids
For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious.
For those who have children this age, this is not funny. For those who
have
children nearing this age, this is a warning. For those who have not yet
had children, this is birth control.
The following came from an anonymous mother in Austin, Texas:
Things I've learned from my children:
1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house
4
inches deep.
2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller
blades, they can ignite.
3. A 3-year old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded
restaurant.
4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong
enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman
cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread
paint on all four wall of a 20x20 ft. room.
5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When
using
a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before
you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit
by a
ceiling fan.
7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh," it's already
too
late.
8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9. A six-year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a
36-year-old man says they can only do it in the movies.
10. Certain Lego pieces will pass through the digestive tract of a
4-year
old.
11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
12. Super glue is forever.
13. No matter how much Aeroplane Jelly you put in a swimming pool you
still
can't walk on water.
14. Pool filters do not like Aeroplane Jelly.
15. VCR's do not eject penut butter & jelly sandwiches even though TV
commercials show they do.
16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18. You probably do not want to know what that odour is.
19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not
like
ovens.
20. The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.
21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms
dizzy.
22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
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