[amc] Bread Is Broken While Interfaith Bonds Are Built
- From: Werner S <wjs3108@xxxxxxxxx>
- To: amc@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Sat, 17 Nov 2007 11:42:12 -0800 (PST)
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/11/17/us/17religion.html
November 17, 2007
RELIGION JOURNAL
Bread Is Broken While Interfaith Bonds Are Built
By GRETEL C. KOVACH, New York Times
FRISCO, Tex., Nov. 15 ? The outcome was uncertain when
a group of mostly strangers sat down together for
dinner Thursday night at a home in this Dallas suburb.
Among the gathering were three Jews, two Mormons,
three Muslims, two Bahais, two secular humanists and a
Catholic-Baptist.
But over pasta and lentil soup, the guests discussed
love, death, forgiveness, compassion and evil, and
found plenty of common ground.
?How many times,? said one guest, Nelson Komaiko, a
59-year-old self-described ?very Reform? Jew, ?do we
get in a situation where people from all these
different religions can really talk?? Not with
superficial workplace chatter, he said, but in a
discussion about the big questions of life. ?Usually
when people of different faiths have a ?dialogue,?
it?s with guns blazing.?
The occasion was an Amazing Faiths Project Dinner
Dialogue, one of a series of small gatherings in
private homes intended to foster tolerance and
understanding of religious differences.
The series was organized by Mayor Bill White of
Houston, the Boniuk Center for the Study and
Advancement of Religious Tolerance at Rice University
and Interfaith Ministries for Greater Houston. What
began with 20 dinners and about 200 participants in
January has quadrupled in size this round and spread
to three other Texas cities, largely by word of mouth.
?People are hungry for this,? said Jill Carroll,
executive director of the Boniuk Center. ?This project
is a way to leverage all of the individuals and the
little groups out there into a movement that actually
has the possibility to shift the culture away from
hatred and religious bigotry to one of tolerance.?
The dinners start with each participant selecting a
card and then answering a question broad enough that
followers of any faith, or no faith, can draw on their
personal experiences. After everyone takes a turn,
there is a break, and then each person has a few
minutes to speak freely.
Although the event is called a ?dialogue,?
participants are not allowed to challenge one
another?s remarks. ?The idea is not to be
pontificating or giving little sermons, but listening
and sharing from their heart,? Dr. Carroll said.
The Amazing Faiths dinners are limited to about 10
participants, to keep the gatherings intimate. ?People
are on better behavior when they are guests in
someone?s home,? Dr. Carroll said. ?It plumbs the
richness of our traditions about hospitality, hosting
the stranger. Tolerance begins at home.?
Kim Kamen, interim executive director of the American
Jewish Committee?s Dallas chapter, was moderator of
the dinner here, held at the home of Deanna DeYoung, a
Bahai. The two women formed a multifaith group after
the 9/11 attacks but found that free-ranging
discussions among people of different faiths sometimes
drifted into edgy territory.
At the outset Thursday night, Ms. Kamen warned the
group that the talk would be very structured. ?No one
is saying we have to agree or disagree,? she said,
adding that the goal was to learn about different
faiths in a safe and neutral environment.
Heather Woodward laughed when she drew a card asking
about miracles.
?I find it very humorous that I?m the secular one and
I draw this card,? she said. ?The most miraculous
thing to me is that as humans we relate to one
another.? She shared the story of having been married
to an Orthodox Jew for 14 years, though they are ?very
different on paper.?
Ms. DeYoung?s card asked if she saw compassion around
her every day. ?I don?t think so,? she said. ?America
seems to be searching outside ourselves for meaning. I
think it?s very unfortunate that it takes something
very tragic ? things like 9/11 have to happen ? to
bring us together.?
Lucille Nowaski, like her husband a Roman Catholic,
told the group of having convinced him that they
should start attending a Baptist church that their
young daughter had chosen to attend. ?We need to go
with her,? she told him, ?to keep her safe.? Of God,
Ms. Nowaski added, ?I think he wants us all to be
together.?
Some in the group nodded knowingly. ?Amen,? Halima
Sonday said.
Mr. Komaiko?s card asked what happened when one?s
prayers were not answered.
He described becoming embittered with religion when he
was a young man watching his mother die of cancer.
?She followed the kosher rules her entire life,? he
said, ?and was basically a very good person. I asked
myself, ?Does God really care???
Roy Dahle, a Mormon, had almost the opposite
experience. ?When the doctors were saying, ?Roy,
there?s nothing more we can do for you,? and I came
through, I attributed that to a higher power,? Mr.
Dahle said.
The dinner guests had many questions. What is
confirmation? What does secular mean? Or Bahai? Before
the night was through, all were answered. But they
planned to continue the conversation, by meeting again
or joining the Boniuk Center?s online social
networking site.
?I learned from every one of you,? Rabia Sonday said.
?That?s one of the miracles. He created so many
billions of people. Every one of us is different, yet
we are all the same.?
Her sister Halima agreed. Set aside the politics, and
?it really comes down to how we treat other people,?
she said.
But Renato Sperandeo, a 65-year-old Bahai, reminded
them that here in the soft candlelight, content in the
knowledge that no one would challenge their beliefs,
it was not hard to be accepting.
?It?s too easy now to be loving to each other,? he
said. ?When we?re in the real world, we don?t always
behave this way.?
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