For those who have already received this, my appologies for the duplication. But in light of Deb's message, I thought I should send it along to everyone. Shabbat Shalom, and enjoy. Johanna > > > > > > > HOW TO BE A REPUBLICAN: > > > > > > > ===================================== > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, > > > > > > > unless you're a conservative radio host. Then it's an > > > > > > > illness and you need our prayers for your recovery. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > The United States should get out of the United > > > > > > > Nations, and our highest national priority is > > > > > > > enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Government should relax regulation of Big Business and > > > > > > > Big Money but crackdown on individuals who use > > > > > > > marijuana to relieve the pain of illness. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Standing Tall for America means firing your workers > > > > > > > and moving their jobs to India. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own > > > > > > > body, but multi-national corporations can make > > > > > > > decisions affecting all mankind without regulation. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals > > > > > > > and Hillary Clinton. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > The best way to improve military morale is to praise > > > > > > > the troops in speeches while slashing veterans' > > > > > > > benefits and combat pay. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Group sex and drug use are degenerate sins unless you > > > > > > > someday run for governor of California as a > > > > > > > Republican. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't > > > > > > > have sex. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our > > > > > > > long-time allies, then demand their cooperation and > > > > > > > money. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy. > > > > > > > Providing health care to all Americans is socialism. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk > > > > > > > science, but creationism should be taught in schools. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy > > > > > > > when Bush's daddy made war on him, a good guy when > > > > > > > Cheney did business with him and a bad guy when Bush > > > > > > > needed a we can't find Bin Laden diversion. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > A president lying about an extramarital affair is an > > > > > > > impeachable offense. A president lying to enlist > > > > > > > support for a war in which thousands die is solid > > > > > > > defense policy. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Government should limit itself to the powers named in > > > > > > > the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages > > > > > > > and censoring the Internet. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle > > > > > > > trades, but George Bush's driving record is none of > > > > > > > our business. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > You support states rights, which means Attorney > > > > > > > General John Ashcroft can tell states what local voter > > > > > > > initiatives they have a right to adopt. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital > > > > > > > national interest, but what Bush did in the '80s is > > > > > > > irrelevant. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is > > > > > > > communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital > > > > > > > to a spirit of international harmony > > > > > > ______________________