[yshavurah] How to be a Republican

From: "Bill" <rebiljob@xxxxxxxxxx>
To: <yshavurah@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Date: Fri, 23 Jan 2004 04:36:57 -0500
For those who have already received this, my appologies for the duplication.
But in light of Deb's message, I thought I should send it along to everyone.
Shabbat Shalom, and enjoy.
Johanna

>
> >
> > > >  HOW TO BE A REPUBLICAN:
> > > > > > > =====================================
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime,
> > > > > > > unless you're a conservative radio host. Then it's an
> > > > > > > illness and you need our prayers for your recovery.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > The United States should get out of the United
> > > > > > > Nations, and our highest national priority is
> > > > > > > enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > Government should relax regulation of Big Business and
> > > > > > > Big Money but  crackdown on individuals who use
> > > > > > > marijuana to relieve the pain of illness.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > Standing Tall for America means firing your workers
> > > > > > > and moving their jobs to India.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own
> > > > > > > body, but multi-national corporations can make
> > > > > > > decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals
> > > > > > > and Hillary Clinton.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > The best way to improve military morale is to praise
> > > > > > > the troops in speeches while slashing veterans'
> > > > > > > benefits and combat pay.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > Group sex and drug use are degenerate sins unless you
> > > > > > > someday run for governor of California as a
> > > > > > > Republican.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't
> > > > > > > have sex.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our
> > > > > > > long-time allies, then demand their cooperation and
> > > > > > > money.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy.
> > > > > > > Providing health care to all Americans is socialism.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk
> > > > > > > science, but creationism should be taught in schools.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy
> > > > > > > when Bush's daddy made war on him, a good guy when
> > > > > > > Cheney did business with him and a bad guy when Bush
> > > > > > > needed a we can't find Bin Laden diversion.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > A president lying about an extramarital affair is an
> > > > > > > impeachable offense. A president lying to enlist
> > > > > > > support for a war in which thousands die is solid
> > > > > > > defense policy.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > Government should limit itself to the powers named in
> > > > > > > the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages
> > > > > > > and censoring the Internet.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle
> > > > > > > trades, but George Bush's driving record is none of
> > > > > > > our business.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > You support states rights, which means Attorney
> > > > > > > General John Ashcroft can tell states what local voter
> > > > > > > initiatives they have a right to adopt.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital
> > > > > > > national interest, but what Bush did in the '80s is
> > > > > > > irrelevant.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is
> > > > > > > communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital
> > > > > > > to a spirit of international harmony
> > >
> > > ______________________
[yshavurah] How to be a Republican

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