[ussgeorgetown] The Invisible Line by Pas Kaartaren
- From: TKilyle@xxxxxxx
- To: ussgeorgetown@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Sun, 3 Apr 2005 19:05:29 EDT
Lish shooed him out of the office, telling him to go to his quarters if he
was going to lounge with his feet on the desk. It wasn't that he was lounging,
Pas explained, but merely thinking. He left any way. Lish had a streak of
overprotectiveness in him.
~~~~~~~
After Tawa left to fulfill his Security duties. Pas knew it was best to stay
where he was for the moment. If he were needed elsewhere, he had no doubt
that Lish would find a way to tell him. Lish, he thought dryly, was
considerably
more slender and flexible than he was and could, therefore, crawl through
duct spaces much more comfortably.
If nothing else, the darkness of the blackout afforded the peace and time to
think. His eyes wandered to the spot on the desk where he and Lish kept the
family holos. Other than the fact that he knew Mika was safe with Gressa, he
told himself that he'd know if she was in danger. His precious baby girl was,
for the longest time, the only reason he could find to live. His eyes moved
to where he knew Calista's picture was.
From the moment he'd seen her on the Golden Eagle, he'd known she was
different. He was there at Lish's request, to help, but something in him had
stepped
over that invisible line between Dr. Kaartaren and Pas Kaartaren. Beautiful,
intelligent, strong...he'd fallen in love with her as easily as he breathed.
"Imzadi..." he murmured aloud.
~~It's about time~~
In the darkness of his office, Pas sat bolt upright, his feet falling to the
floor with a thud. Even though he hadn't heard it in seven years, the mental
voice was more than familiar.
"This can't be right," he said. "I'm imagining things."
~~It's me and you know it.~~
Shalara, Mika's mother. He hadn't wanted to enter the arranged marriage but,
in the end, he agreed to please his parents. He hadn't loved her then and
she knew it but they made the best of it. He did grow to love her but there
was
something that Shalara knew and accepted. She was not imzadi to him. He did
grieve her loss and almost died when his cardiac condition made itself
apparent after her accident.
~~I was afraid for you, Pas--afraid you would keep yourself apart for the
rest of your life because you felt guilty over not loving me as you thought yo
should.~~
"How did you...?" he asked aloud, shaking his head in disbelief.
~~You told your student as much, the Andorian who is still your friend.~~
That much was true. Lish was there, still training, when the accident
happened. Pas rubbed the bridge of his nose and then his temples, trying to
massage
away another headache.
~~I know you love her. She lives in your soul as I never did and I'm glad~~
"Really?" he wondered aloud. "You don't..."
~~Pas, she is imzadi to you. How could I mind, you dear, good man...~~
~~~~~~~
The lights snapping back on shook him out of his reverie. He shook his head,
trying to clear his thoughts. His feet were still where he thought he'd left
them on the desk.
"Fell asleep. I must have fallen asleep," he murmured before Lish walked in.
He smiled at Calista's picture. He had no problem thinking it now.
"Imzadi." It sounded so right...
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