CLASSIC! -----Original Message----- From: tcb-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx [mailto:tcb-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx] On Behalf Of singlecabboy Sent: Friday, March 05, 2010 1:12 AM To: tcb Subject: [tcb] Fw: Tools explained Thought everyone could relate to this tool explanation. Paul Smith H.B.B T.C.B Transporters at the Point 7 October 8,9,and 10, 2010"Love all,trust a few,Do wrong to none" --- On Thu, 3/4/10, B H <bigjeepy@xxxxxxxxx> wrote: > From: B H <bigjeepy@xxxxxxxxx> > Subject: Tools explained > To: "Nathan Hannibal" <halfer213@xxxxxxxxx>, "Shad Calvetti" <shadc@xxxxxxxxxx>, "mr. dan castillo" <dancastillo@xxxxxxxxxxx>, "Gigi Daley" <gigiami2003@xxxxxxxxx>, "william Davis" <william939132@xxxxxxxxx>, "Rick Davis" <coupe08@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>, "Robyn Deage" <robynd111@xxxxxxx>, "Rex Domasco" <playersofinstruments@xxxxxxxxxxx>, "Karen Farley" <tkaren244@xxxxxxxxxxx>, "Ally Farley" <farleyangel@xxxxxxxxxxx>, "Eric Gamble" <get@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>, "Ray Garza" <grzrymnd@xxxxxxxxx>, "Robin James" <rdjames72304@xxxxxxxxx>, "James Kearns" <jak_kearns@xxxxxxxxxxx>, "Kevin Kibbie" <rusty_apache@xxxxxxxxx>, "Scott Kimrey" <cscottkimrey@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>, "Jessi Kissling" <jessi@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>, "Richard Lantz" <richard.lantz@xxxxxxxxxxx>, "Alan Loo" <alloo_66@xxxxxxxxx>, "louis" <lbeaumier@xxxxxxx>, "Quang Lunatic" <civic1604@xxxxxxxxx>, "Chris McCrank" <chris.mccrank@xxxxxxxxx>, "Mark McKay" <mckay143@xxxxxxxxxxx>, "Gustavo Montiel" <gmontiel73@xxxxxxxxx>, "Pat Peranteau" <pperanteau@xxxxxxx>, "Georgie Porgie" <scooterboss63@xxxxxxxxx>, "Chris Sander" <coffedrink@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>, "Patricia Schulz" <patriciaschlz@xxxxxxxxx>, "Paul Smith" <sealingwaxred@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>, "Jerry stark" <jerry_stark@xxxxxxxxxxx>, "Jason Trott" <themotorcycleshop@xxxxxxxxxxx>, "Koojee Yeoh" <kjengineeringinc@xxxxxxx> > Date: Thursday, March 4, 2010, 8:11 AM > > > > > > > > > > #yiv964365215 filtered #yiv569493930 {margin:1.0in > 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in;} > #yiv964365215 #yiv569493930 v\00003a* { > } > #yiv964365215 #yiv569493930 v\00003a* { > } > #yiv964365215 #yiv569493930 P.MsoNormal { > FONT-FAMILY:"Times New > Roman";MARGIN-LEFT:0in;FONT-SIZE:12pt;MARGIN-RIGHT:0in;} > #yiv964365215 #yiv569493930 LI.MsoNormal { > FONT-FAMILY:"Times New > Roman";MARGIN-LEFT:0in;FONT-SIZE:12pt;MARGIN-RIGHT:0in;} > #yiv964365215 #yiv569493930 DIV.MsoNormal { > FONT-FAMILY:"Times New > Roman";MARGIN-LEFT:0in;FONT-SIZE:12pt;MARGIN-RIGHT:0in;} > #yiv964365215 #yiv569493930 A:link { > COLOR:blue;TEXT-DECORATION:underline;} > #yiv964365215 #yiv569493930 SPAN.MsoHyperlink { > COLOR:blue;TEXT-DECORATION:underline;} > #yiv964365215 #yiv569493930 A:visited { > COLOR:blue;TEXT-DECORATION:underline;} > #yiv964365215 #yiv569493930 SPAN.MsoHyperlinkFollowed { > COLOR:blue;TEXT-DECORATION:underline;} > #yiv964365215 #yiv569493930 P { > FONT-FAMILY:"Times New > Roman";MARGIN-LEFT:0in;FONT-SIZE:12pt;MARGIN-RIGHT:0in;} > #yiv964365215 #yiv569493930 SPAN.EmailStyle20 { > FONT-STYLE:normal;FONT-FAMILY:"Times New > Roman";COLOR:blue;FONT-WEIGHT:normal;TEXT-DECORATION:none;} > #yiv964365215 #yiv569493930 DIV.Section1 { > } > > > > #yiv964365215 #yiv569493930 p.MsoNormal > {margin-left:12.85pt;} > > > > > > > > > > > > Tools Explained > > DRILL PRESS: A tall upright > machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar > stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest > and flings > your beer across the room, denting the > freshly-painted project which you had > carefully set in the corner where nothing > could get to it. > > WIRE WHEEL: Cleans paint off > bolts and then throws them somewhere under the > workbench with the speed of light . Also > removes fingerprints and > hard-earned calluses from fingers in about > the time it takes you to say, 'Oh sh--!' > > SKILL SAW: A portable > cutting tool used to make studs too short. > > PLIERS: Used to round off > bolt heads. Sometimes used in the creation of > blood-blisters. > > BELT SANDER: An electric > sanding tool commonly used to convert minor > touch-up jobs into major refinishing > jobs. > > HACKSAW: One of a family of > cutting tools built on the Ouija board > principle... It transforms human energy into a > crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to > influence its course, the more dismal > your future > becomes. > > VISE-GRIPS: Generally used > after pliers to completely round off bolt heads. If nothing > else is available, they can also be used to transfer > intense welding heat to the palm of your > hand. > > OXYACETYLENE TORCH: Used > almost entirely for lighting various flammable > objects in your shop on fire. Also handy for > igniting the grease inside the wheel hub out of which > you want > to remove a bearing race. > > TABLE SAW: A large > stationary power tool commonly used to launch wood > projectiles for testing wall > integrity. > > HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK: Used > for lowering an automobile to the ground after you > have installed your new brake shoes , trapping the jack > handle firmly > under the bumper. > > BAND SAW: A large stationary > power saw primarily used by most shops to cut good > aluminum sheet into smaller pieces that more easily fit into > the trash > can after you cut on the inside of the line > instead of the outside edge. > > TWO-TON ENGINE HOIST: A tool for > testing the maximum tensile strength of > everything you forgot to disconnect. > > PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER: > Normally used to stab the vacuum seals under lids or shirt; > but can also be used, as the name implies, to strip out > Phillips > screw heads. > > STRAIGHT SCREWDRIVER: A tool > for opening paint cans. Sometimes used to > convert common slotted screws into > non-removable screws and butchering your > palms. > > PRY BAR: A tool used to > crumple the metal surrounding that clip or bracket you needed to remove in > order to replace a 50 cent part. > > HOSE CUTTER: A tool used to > make hoses too short. > > HAMMER: Originally employed > as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a > kind of divining rod to locate the most expensive parts > adjacent the > object we are trying to hit. > > UTILITY KNIFE: Used to open > and slice through the contents of cardboard > cartons delivered to your front door; works > particularly well on contents such as seats, vinyl > records, liquids in plastic bottles, collector > magazines, refund > checks, and rubber or plastic parts. Especially useful > for > slicing work clothes, but only while in > use. > > SON-OF-A-BITCH TOOL: (A > personal favorite!) Any handy tool that you grab and throw > across the garage while yelling 'Son of a BITCH!' at > the top of your > lungs. It is also, most often, the next tool > that you will need. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > No virus found in this incoming message. > Checked by AVG - www.avg.com > Version: 8.5.435 / Virus Database: 271.1.1/2721 - Release > Date: 03/03/10 19:34:00 > > > > > >