[tcb] Re: Fw: Tools explained
- From: Eric Woodall <eric@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- To: tcb@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Fri, 05 Mar 2010 06:44:45 -0600
Too funny Paul!
I have one of each of those tools.
singlecabboy wrote:
> Thought everyone could relate to this tool explanation.
> Paul Smith
>
> H.B.B
> T.C.B
> Transporters at the Point 7 October 8,9,and 10, 2010"Love all,trust a few,Do
> wrong to none"
>
>
> --- On Thu, 3/4/10, B H <bigjeepy@xxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>
>
>> From: B H <bigjeepy@xxxxxxxxx>
>> Subject: Tools explained
>> To: "Nathan Hannibal" <halfer213@xxxxxxxxx>, "Shad Calvetti"
>> <shadc@xxxxxxxxxx>, "mr. dan castillo" <dancastillo@xxxxxxxxxxx>, "Gigi
>> Daley" <gigiami2003@xxxxxxxxx>, "william Davis" <william939132@xxxxxxxxx>,
>> "Rick Davis" <coupe08@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>, "Robyn Deage" <robynd111@xxxxxxx>,
>> "Rex Domasco" <playersofinstruments@xxxxxxxxxxx>, "Karen Farley"
>> <tkaren244@xxxxxxxxxxx>, "Ally Farley" <farleyangel@xxxxxxxxxxx>, "Eric
>> Gamble" <get@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>, "Ray Garza"
>> <grzrymnd@xxxxxxxxx>, "Robin James" <rdjames72304@xxxxxxxxx>, "James Kearns"
>> <jak_kearns@xxxxxxxxxxx>, "Kevin Kibbie" <rusty_apache@xxxxxxxxx>, "Scott
>> Kimrey" <cscottkimrey@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>, "Jessi Kissling"
>> <jessi@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>, "Richard Lantz" <richard.lantz@xxxxxxxxxxx>,
>> "Alan Loo" <alloo_66@xxxxxxxxx>, "louis" <lbeaumier@xxxxxxx>, "Quang
>> Lunatic" <civic1604@xxxxxxxxx>, "Chris McCrank" <chris.mccrank@xxxxxxxxx>,
>> "Mark McKay" <mckay143@xxxxxxxxxxx>, "Gustavo Montiel"
>>
> <gmontiel73@xxxxxxxxx>, "Pat Peranteau" <pperanteau@xxxxxxx>, "Georgie
> Porgie" <scooterboss63@xxxxxxxxx>, "Chris Sander" <coffedrink@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>,
> "Patricia Schulz" <patriciaschlz@xxxxxxxxx>, "Paul Smith"
> <sealingwaxred@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>, "Jerry stark" <jerry_stark@xxxxxxxxxxx>,
> "Jason Trott" <themotorcycleshop@xxxxxxxxxxx>, "Koojee Yeoh"
> <kjengineeringinc@xxxxxxx>
>
>> Date: Thursday, March 4, 2010, 8:11 AM
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>> Tools Explained
>>
>> DRILL PRESS: A tall upright
>> machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar
>> stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest
>> and flings
>> your beer across the room, denting the
>> freshly-painted project which you had
>> carefully set in the corner where nothing
>> could get to it.
>>
>> WIRE WHEEL: Cleans paint off
>> bolts and then throws them somewhere under the
>> workbench with the speed of light . Also
>> removes fingerprints and
>> hard-earned calluses from fingers in about
>> the time it takes you to say, 'Oh sh--!'
>>
>> SKILL SAW: A portable
>> cutting tool used to make studs too short.
>>
>> PLIERS: Used to round off
>> bolt heads. Sometimes used in the creation of
>> blood-blisters.
>>
>> BELT SANDER: An electric
>> sanding tool commonly used to convert minor
>> touch-up jobs into major refinishing
>> jobs.
>>
>> HACKSAW: One of a family of
>> cutting tools built on the Ouija board
>> principle... It transforms human energy into a
>> crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to
>> influence its course, the more dismal
>> your future
>> becomes.
>>
>> VISE-GRIPS: Generally used
>> after pliers to completely round off bolt heads. If nothing
>> else is available, they can also be used to transfer
>> intense welding heat to the palm of your
>> hand.
>>
>> OXYACETYLENE TORCH: Used
>> almost entirely for lighting various flammable
>> objects in your shop on fire. Also handy for
>> igniting the grease inside the wheel hub out of which
>> you want
>> to remove a bearing race.
>>
>> TABLE SAW: A large
>> stationary power tool commonly used to launch wood
>> projectiles for testing wall
>> integrity.
>>
>> HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK: Used
>> for lowering an automobile to the ground after you
>> have installed your new brake shoes , trapping the jack
>> handle firmly
>> under the bumper.
>>
>> BAND SAW: A large stationary
>> power saw primarily used by most shops to cut good
>> aluminum sheet into smaller pieces that more easily fit into
>> the trash
>> can after you cut on the inside of the line
>> instead of the outside edge.
>>
>> TWO-TON ENGINE HOIST: A tool for
>> testing the maximum tensile strength of
>> everything you forgot to disconnect.
>>
>> PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER:
>> Normally used to stab the vacuum seals under lids or shirt;
>> but can also be used, as the name implies, to strip out
>> Phillips
>> screw heads.
>>
>> STRAIGHT SCREWDRIVER: A tool
>> for opening paint cans. Sometimes used to
>> convert common slotted screws into
>> non-removable screws and butchering your
>> palms.
>>
>> PRY BAR: A tool used to
>> crumple the metal surrounding that clip or bracket you needed to remove in
>> order to replace a 50 cent part.
>>
>> HOSE CUTTER: A tool used to
>> make hoses too short.
>>
>> HAMMER: Originally employed
>> as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a
>> kind of divining rod to locate the most expensive parts
>> adjacent the
>> object we are trying to hit.
>>
>> UTILITY KNIFE: Used to open
>> and slice through the contents of cardboard
>> cartons delivered to your front door; works
>> particularly well on contents such as seats, vinyl
>> records, liquids in plastic bottles, collector
>> magazines, refund
>> checks, and rubber or plastic parts. Especially useful
>> for
>> slicing work clothes, but only while in
>> use.
>>
>> SON-OF-A-BITCH TOOL: (A
>> personal favorite!) Any handy tool that you grab and throw
>> across the garage while yelling 'Son of a BITCH!' at
>> the top of your
>> lungs. It is also, most often, the next tool
>> that you will need.
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