[m-w] Re: My response
- From: Sandy Dohallow <sdohallow@xxxxxxxxxxx>
- To: Dan Martin <m-w@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>, KAREN STONE <stoney19018@xxxxxxxxxxx>, Kathi Pieper <kathi.pieper@xxxxxxxxx>, Mike Martin <drsewnsew@xxxxxxxxxxx>, sandy dohallow <sandra.dohallow@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Mon, 29 Jun 2009 00:08:23 +0000
Sorry, we just got back from camping and I just now checked my e-mail only,
once again, to find the shit has hit the fan.
Kathi,
I really don't like being confrontational and would MUCH prefer everyone just
get along through all of this, but you have managed to make that impossible. I
have no "agenda" as you say other than to have the process go as smoothly as
possible without the entire family never speaking to each other at the end.
Unfortunately that is not your "agenda". For you, it's all about YOU. The
reason I prefer not to respond to your e-mails is mainly because they come off
as ranting and raving about everybody being out "to get you and screw you".
The last two times I have spoken to you on the phone (right after Dan & Katrina
left from Zach's graduation and the last call you made to me last Monday), you
have managed to twist everything I have said and turned in into whatever you
wanted, and then proceeded to tell everyone on this list your version of our
conversations. That puts me in a very bad position and I really don't
appreciate it at all. I really don't appreciate you telling everyone that Dan
& Katrina and I discussed the estate and "left you out" while they were here.
That was completly not true. We merely had a conversation and I relayed to you
the jist of what was discussed to make sure you didn't feel like we were out to
"sabatouge you" and leave you out. There were no decisions made or anything
set in stone. It was just a conversation!!! Instead, you get your feelings
hurt because you weren't invited in on the conversation. That is not my
fault!! You said you waited by the phone for a call from us. Did it occur to
you to call us and see what the plans were for that day??? That's all it would
have taken. But of course, then you couldn't be the martyr and could continue
to fuel your fire of everyone being out to screw you. We didn't leave the
house until after noon. If we new you were interested in going somewhere with
us I'm sure that would have been fine. I WILL NOT appologize for having a
nice, pleasant, fun visit while they were here, and don't feel that I should
HAVE to, simply because your feelings were hurt.
When you called on Monday (while I was at work and really didn't have time to
go into a deep discussion about what should and shouldn't be done), I did NOT
say anything about hurting anyone's feeling. If you recall, I did mention that
perhaps since Mike and Dan were much closer to the entire situation than you
and I (since they saw Mom every day while we are living up here) that perhaps
they weren't ready to deal with things in your timeframe. Everyone grieves in
their own way and in their own time. Sorry if that doesn't fit into your
timeframe. We have lost both our parents in a very short period of time (Mom's
so sudden and unexpected) and you never mention anything about that. It
suddenly has become ALL about the money with you and the fact you feel you're
getting screwed over. That is all in your mind. I don't feel that anyone is
out to screw you or anyone else!!!!! I, for one am still trying to cope with
the fact of Mom's passing and am not in any hurry to get everything "settled"
as quickly as possible as you apparently are.
As for Karen's comments in her e-mail, they were no more inapproiate than the
ones you have sent implying everyone was out to screw you over in the past
months!!! Have you read any of the schathing rants you have written?????
Accusing everyone of lying and trying to cheat you?? I believe the same thing
could be said about you as far as not caring about hurting anyone else's
feelings!!!! While you are ranting on and on about doing things the way you
feel they should be done, and getting it all done as quickly as possible (for
what reason, I don't know), not once have you mentioned putting a headstone on
our Mother's grave. To me that is WAY more important than any of the rest of
it. If you have so much time on your hands that you can get up on a Sunday
morning and spend God knows how long sending another of your accusatory and
hateful e-mails, maybe that time could be better spent trying to find your
Mother a headstone. Or does that not matter to you?? Are you only interested
in getting any money you can and to hell with whether our Mother lays in an
unmarked grave forever???
It appears to me, you, and only you, are the only one bickering and causing
hard feelings by trying to make everyone bend to your timeframe. I really
don't see what the big hurry is. I would much rather Mom still be here than to
spend my time worrying about how I can gain financially from her death!!! That
is the very last thing on my mind at this point. I hate to sound like a bitch,
but you have really left me no choice. Going forward, I would appreciate any
communication that occurs between you and I to be through e-mails. At least
that way it will be clear as to who said what and then you can twist it around
in your mind any way you feel like. I'm tired of the arguing and accusations
that come with each and every one of your e-mails and would prefer you leave me
out of them if your only intent is to twist my words and cause more dissention.
Clearly you and I have completely different ideas on how things should happen
and in what order. I do not and may never understand what is causing you to
act this way. If it is financial, what would you do if Mom hadn't passed
away? I'm sure you would deal with it like all of us have to on a daily basis
and wouldn't be in such a hurry to "get your hands on the money you feel you
deserve" from this tragedy.
Lucy,
I will have the paper Mike sent notarized tomorow morning and get it in the
mail. I'm sorry it has taken me so long to retutn it, but with all the e-mails
flying back and forth, I wanted to wait until the dust settled and make sure
everyone was in agreement with this decision. As far as I can tell, from
talking to everyone, we are all in agreement except Kathi. I do, however agree
with her that we should all have the back up for things that have transpired to
this point and will appreciate it if you could send the copies to us all. I
feel they will be needed by all of us when we file our taxes for this year. It
sounds like you are on top of it and I thank you for that. I know we all work
for a living and it is hard to make the time to do these things and I
appreciate your efforts thus far. Hopefully things will go smoother going
forward....
Love you all,
Sandy
From: drsewnsew@xxxxxxxxxxx
To: m-w@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
CC: diana.martin@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: [m-w] Re: My response
Date: Sun, 28 Jun 2009 14:04:24 -0500
OK everyone, it is me Lucy, and I will try to answer all your concerns as
best as I can.
I do not know what "plan" you are referring to at the bottom of page one. If
you are talking about the "Application for Independent Administration", you are
holding that in your hand. All this form does is appoint Michael as
"Independent Administrator". Since there was no "Independent Executor"
appointed in the will this is necessary so only one person will have to sign
documents to wind up the Estate. He can not even touch the bank account or
find out about the life insurance without these "Letters of Administration".
They will not talk to him without it. If you do not feel Michael is
"Independent" enough then appoint me. I have the ability to be independent due
to the ethics that I have to practice in my career. I have also handled many
Estate returns in my time. While you may have 4 years to probate the Estate
nothing can be done until it is done.
The rental amount was received along with the appraisal to get an idea of what
we were dealing with. It is not written in concrete, it was obtained so
everyone can make an educated decision as to what to do with the property. As
of this date that decision has not been made. The will needs to be probated
and other issues settled before that decision can be made.
We have discussed many times how the amount for the check for $4,246.11 was
arrived at. The annuity was left to Michael and Michael alone. He decided to
share it with the rest of you. He was the direct beneficiary of that amount so
the whole amount will be taxed to us on 1099R next year. It is not part of the
Estate that is to be divided amount the 6 of you. While he loves all of you he
is not willing to bear the tax burden on the full amount. The tax is not on
the Estate since the money did not go to the Estate, it was a direct bequest to
Michael. We took out 30% to cover the taxes that will imposed on our return
and then divided the remainder by 6. When I do the 2009 return and 30% was too
much, we will refund the difference to you. The Gross Distribution was
$36,395.26. Less the 30% left $25,476.68. Divided by 6 was $4,246.11. I will
send documentation later on with some other stuff.
I do not know what idea you heard about Dan dealing with the "in" and ''out"
groups of selling the house. Dan please explain.
I do not know why your sisters are not responding to your emails.
The lawyer was communicating with me because I was talking to him on other
subjects and just asked how things were going. He thought I was asking on
Michael's behalf and responded to me. That has now been taken care of. The
title does not need to transferred to all 6 names. In Texas, the minute
someone dies everything then belongs to the Estate of ...... The Esate will be
responsible to distributing the assets, paying any bills, etc. That is why is
it more efficient to have only one person handling it and not six. That is
what the "Letters of Administration" will allow Michael to do. The bank
account needs to be changed and the insurance looked into. None of that can be
accomplished with out these letters. Yes tax returns need to be filed. We are
still looking to see if she even needs to file one. As last resort we will
contact the IRS for a copy of last years retun and any 2008 information they
have on file. Then when a decision is made to sell or rent an Estate tax
return will be due next year to reflect this decision. That return will also
eventually show the distribution of the assets.
Answers to questions:
1. Title needs to be changed to Estate name since the Estate now owns
everything.
2. We are probably going to have to pay Joe since it was not a straight
forward will. Since it was hand written and not witnessed it is more
complicated.
3. No discussion that I know of
4. No, I will take care of it when I get the information
5. No decision on rent that I know of.
The only copy of the will is at the lawyers. Michael did not make a copy of it
before taking it to him. I will get copies of the bank statements and send
them to everyone along with a copy of the will and the documentation of the
annuity distribution.
Dan please bring the bank statement for your mom's account (now the Estate) to
work on Monday and I will put them in the package to send to everyone. I would
like to see January to May just to stop all this back and forth. Also if you
can find any tax return information that would be great too. There should be a
Social Security statement, a 1099R from her IRA and Bank interest.
I do not know answers to your other questions.
I hope this email explains things to everyone. Diana is now on the list of
distribution.
I know you do not want me butting in, but someone has to put a stop to all this
bickering.
If you have any other concerns or question, just let me know and I will try to
get it resolved.
Lucy
Date: Sun, 28 Jun 2009 09:30:47 -0600
Subject: [m-w] My response
From: kathi.pieper@xxxxxxxxx
To: m-w@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Here is what has gone on - I am not going to sign anything until I have the
plan that is supposed to accompany the form Mike sent (referred to at the
bottom of the first page of the form). It seems every one of you has your own
agenda to the point that Karen's email received no response from a single one
of you - except Mike to say "thanks for understanding." Apparently, you don't
care whether what she said is true or false or hurtful. Thanks. We have four
years to probate the estate. I still need the papers that I have requested
numerous times.
March 26th - Mike sent out an email regarding a fair rental amount for the
property
April 16th - I sent a message asking whether or not a decision had been made on
whether or not the plan was to rent. In that email I asked what had been
discussed with the attorney
May 4th - I acknowledged receipt of the check for $4246.11 and asked for detail
May 5th - Mike replied that he withheld 30% for taxes. I cannot find any
information that states there will be tax on estates until the funds exceed
$900,000.
May 28th - I sent an email explaining that I did not think Sandy would have
enough time to deal with estate issues and that I was not going to be heading
to Houston. Also included information that I had heard on idea Dan had on
possible ways to deal with the "in" and "out" groups on selling the house. NOTE
TO Karen - read it again - it was NOT my idea to liquidate based on the
appraisal.
June 10th - sent a note to Sandy asking how the trip went. No reply
June 11th - sent a note to Karen asking how the trip went. No reply
June 15th - sent an email to the MW list asking what was going on. Mike
replied that Joe the lawyer is doing his communicating through Lucy. He also
stated that we needed to appoint an executor, title needs to be transferred out
of Mom's name (currently it is in Dad's name) and put into one of all of our
names; tax return needs to be filed.
June 15th - I responded to Mike's email directly to him and offered to handle
the matters. Also responded to the MW list and asked why the title would be
put in any one individual's name rather than "estate". No response
June 16th - received from Mike a copy of some article he found on how long
probate takes and the cost.
June 16th - I responded with some information that contradicted the one Mike
sent. I also asked the following questions:
1. Why does the name on the title need to be changed? Actually should have been
changed out of Dad's name a long time ago.
2. Are we paying Joe?
3. Was any discussion held about the inventory of assets?
4. Do you want me to file Mom's taxes?
5. What was the decision on rent?
No answers so far
June 17th - I sent an email to the MW group. No responses.
June 19th - Received from Mike a note - Diana, change as needed, the rest,
proceed at your discretion. Forms naming mike as executor and no additional
information.
June 19th - I responded again asking what the plan is, what the forms are for,
what are we agreeing to and requesting (again) copies of Mom's will,
distribution paperwork, Mom's bank statement, and additional questions.
June 20th - Received Mike's immature "throw his hands up" response and the
advice that he felt he should have kept all the funds that were in Mom's savings
June 22nd - called Sandy to ask why no one was responding. She only could
think that no one wanted to hurt anyone elses feelings
June 23rd - received Karen's response - FINALLY. Apparently she has no concern
over hurting feelings. Just make up a bunch of crap and throw it out there.
Interestingly, no one responded and contradicted anything she said or called to
say they felt it was a very inappropriate email.
June 24th - Mike advised that Diana is not on the distribution list.
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