One reason fathers may more like "failures" at home than they do at work may have to do with their openness to being taught. I don't like the feeling at work of not knowing what I'm doing; I like to think of myself as "in charge," at least of something. I like being the expert, the authority, the teacher, even if it's a teacher who sees part of his role as removing himself from his role as teacher. I don't like to feel ignorant, or out of control. But our children turn out to be our best teachers, reminding us that we have a LOT LOT more to learn than we ever suspected; we all feel like idiots at home, because we are thrown back into the role of ignorant student, being taught how to parent by a TWO YEAR OLD, for heaven's sake!
The only way to really learn to parent is by being a student of your child. dsavory@xxxxxxxxx wrote:
I pointed out that something Eric wrote reminded me of something Michael Chabon wrote in Manhoodfor Amateurs, "A father is a man who fails everyday."Mike replied "If a father loves unconditionally every day, he will never fail. Chabon is full of shit."What Chabon was doing was explaining his feelings of inadequacy which I, and Eric I think, would agree with. We are stalked by failure but in our workaday adult world we can maintain our sanity with an elaborate system of carefully constructed self-deceptions. Children however are those unfortunate mirrors who reveal for us all of our weaknesses and shortcomings. Fortunately though their laughter is revitalizing....David Savory------------------------------------------------------------------ To change your Lit-Ideas settings (subscribe/unsub, vacation on/off, digest on/off), visit www.andreas.com/faq-lit-ideas.html
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