[lit-ideas] Re: Sunday Poem
- From: David Ritchie <ritchierd@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- To: <lit-ideas@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Sat, 16 Oct 2004 19:30:25 -0700
My fellow Americans,
we all know that words bring families together, like baseballs.
A family that speaks together, sleeps and eats together.
Words rise people out of ignorance and darkness, and unite them.
They are gifts to our ancestors.
Words come to us from Almighty God.
They are an institution, like marriage,
and our Founding Fathers.
Words make us richer or poorer,
bigger or smaller.
We put our sacred trust in them in sequence and in health.
Words are choices.
But they must be in the mainstream,
and at affordable prices.
You cannot have a tax-and-spend language.
You cannot flip-flop on words.
I do not have a litmus test, but I know
our American words must never be imported from Canada.
It just isn't right.
Our words stand tall and defend us when we are attacked by evil axis,
and by my opponent, who voted forty nine times and says, "wrong war wrong
time."
I remember meeting a gal in Fritling, West Virginia,
coal-mining country.
She said "Hi" and offered me the pick of her finest home-grown words.
I have them still, painted on a mantle in the White House,
which Laura and I have the honor to call "the White House."
It is for mothers like her that our books and our classrooms must now be
held accountable.
Here are terms I found in Webster's dictionary:
"Rumtuffnalls," devil worshippers,
"Pelliforicity," a disease spread by cocaine on bank notes, Democrat taxes,
and toilet seats,
"Bifurcation," spitting on sidewalks.
It's just not what children should hear!
A sixty three percent increase in federal funding for enforcement will
ensure foreign words will now be stopped at our borders:
"Aufklarung," comes from the German word for crop rotation...
"Kuomintang," Chinese for pickle juice...
"Entente," French word for camping...
It's just not safe!
In my next term, I promise you,
freedom will be on the march,
and we will be strong.
We will now eat peanut butter, and get the job done.
We will ride to the malls of America
on the cleanest lawnmowers in the World,
with our indicator lights blinking, like beacons in the night.
No one, my fellow Republicans,
no one will be left behind,
'cept [sotto voce here, Mr. President, it's humor] those who don't talk
nice.
David Ritchie
Portland, Oregon
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