[lit-ideas] Re: Memories of the Romance of the Rails
- From: David Ritchie <ritchierd@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- To: <lit-ideas@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Sun, 03 Oct 2004 23:38:17 -0700
Oh god, I can't quite remember.
It's the sort of thing you'd think would be easy to recall,
an oft-repeated item, a lines whine:
"I must not make fun of Applebottom's whinnying in Biology."
That sort of thing.
What was it that so disrupted rail travel on former and Falmer Sundays?
Engineering works?
If it was works, what then was, fundamentally, the problem?
That tickets please, perhaps?
Were we were all waiting for the sainted and faint, ticket-less passenger?
British Rail generally regretted any and all inconvenience caused,
but everyone knew that they had steeped the tea, stiffened the sandwiches,
summoned up foul rage, disguised it as fair-natured customer relations.
With a sigh one noted that, due to staff cuts, this or that ticket office,
like the prize-winning, public convenience, was temporarily not in service,
and therefore and heretofor and so on, we noted that trespassers would and
could be prosecuted on the very instant that they touched the live rail or
any communication cord. None of it worked. It was all sparks in the
cistern.
If one counted oneself among passengers departing for Crew, Rugby or
Badminton, one probably guarded one's strips carefully, for fear of loss,
draw or result. The darts afterward were just as important. Passengers for
Stockton and Darlington quite properly held their horses, responding to the
sorry fact that between Pilchard and Musselborough a bus service was in
effect, due, of course, to infrastructure. The bed on the up-line for
Maidenhead was always receiving attention, but prophylactic repairs
generally proving insufficient, and so travelers were often fucked.
British Rail quite properly and regularly apologized for the late-arrival of
the ten-oh-three, and so on, and so forth, which were all and always delayed
by points failure. Passengers with connections to Rhyme, Reason and
destinations beyond, where there's no point in going on a Sunday, decided to
stuff themselves. Persons with knowledge of points were, of course,
encouraged to identify themselves to railway personnel and have their heads
examined, but passengers generally found that Reading was their best bet.
Some, however, walked away, stupidly ignoring all the tannoy's suggestions
that, normal service would be resumed as soon as possible.
David Ritchie
Portland, Oregon
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