[lit-ideas] Re: Memories of the Romance of the Rails
- From: David Ritchie <ritchierd@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- To: <lit-ideas@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Sun, 03 Oct 2004 23:43:15 -0700
Small fix for Sunday's poem, "proved" for "proving":
> Oh god, I can't quite remember.
> It's the sort of thing you'd think would be easy to recall,
> an oft-repeated item, a lines whine:
> "I must not make fun of Applebottom's whinnying in Biology."
> That sort of thing.
> What was it that so disrupted rail travel on former and Falmer Sundays?
> Engineering works?
> If it was works, what then was, fundamentally, the problem?
> That tickets please, perhaps?
> Were we were all waiting for the sainted and faint, ticket-less passenger?
>
> British Rail generally regretted any and all inconvenience caused,
> but everyone knew that they had steeped the tea, stiffened the sandwiches,
> summoned up foul rage, disguised it as fair-natured customer relations.
>
> With a sigh one noted that, due to staff cuts, this or that ticket office,
> like the prize-winning, public convenience, was temporarily not in service,
> and therefore and heretofor and so on, we noted that trespassers would and
> could be prosecuted on the very instant that they touched the live rail or
> any communication cord. None of it worked. It was all sparks in the
> cistern.
>
> If one counted oneself among passengers departing for Crew, Rugby or
> Badminton, one probably guarded one's strips carefully, for fear of loss,
> draw or result. The darts afterward were just as important. Passengers for
> Stockton and Darlington quite properly held their horses, responding to the
> sorry fact that between Pilchard and Musselborough a bus service was in
> effect, due, of course, to infrastructure. The bed on the up-line for
> Maidenhead was always receiving attention, but prophylactic repairs
> generally proved insufficient, and so travelers were often fucked.
>
> British Rail quite properly and regularly apologized for the late-arrival of
> the ten-oh-three, and so on, and so forth, which were all and always delayed
> by points failure. Passengers with connections to Rhyme, Reason and
> destinations beyond, where there's no point in going on a Sunday, decided to
> stuff themselves. Persons with knowledge of points were, of course,
> encouraged to identify themselves to railway personnel and have their heads
> examined, but passengers generally found that Reading was their best bet.
> Some, however, walked away, stupidly ignoring all the tannoy's suggestions
> that, normal service would be resumed as soon as possible.
>
> David Ritchie
> Portland, Oregon
>
>
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