[lit-ideas] Re: Back to parenting and politics
- From: John McCreery <mccreery@xxxxxxx>
- To: lit-ideas@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Tue, 1 Mar 2005 06:27:15 +0900
On 2005/03/01, at 2:54, Eternitytime1@xxxxxxx wrote:
> What about consequences for decisions? If you had a good reason for
> it (or
> even 'just' a reason...) What about when those decisions are
> selfish or
> mean? (but I did/didn't do it because...)
There were consequences, up to an occasional spanking when she was
small, when the parents agreed that behavior was bad, i.e. sneaky or
malicious. The last serious incident I recall was circa junior high
school, when we stumbled (accidentally, we didn't pry) on concealed
cigarettes. That got her grounded for a month.
On the other hand, when I was called from the station one night by two
high school friends who had got her there sick drunk and as green and
gray as I have ever seen her (the result, I later learned, of going too
far in experimenting with a bottle of whiskey), I just walked her home
and said, "I'll bet that you will not be doing this again soon." She
remains to this day a moderate drinker, confirming a familiar
pattern--pushing the limits to find out where they are, then staying
within them.
We weren't, by any means, perfect parents (I wonder if any such exist).
I have an explosive temper, inherited from my dad and can remember
being pretty scary (for me, too) more times than I like. (Parenting, in
a situation with unsettled roles tested my limits as well as my wife
and daughter's.)
On the whole, however, the kid was surrounded 99.9% of the time with
unconditional love. If she did something stupid, she lived with the
consequences unless there was threat of serious injury or death. (When,
a junior in high school, she talked her parents into letting her buy a
motorcycle--a 50 cc motorbike,actually--to ride to school on, her
parents insisted on giving her the best available helmet we could
find.)
The delightful thing is that she's now approaching 29 while her dad
approaches 61 (our birthdays are three days apart, in August) and we
are, what I never was with my parents, very good friends, who share
stories (some incredibly raunchy), recipes, a love of fine food and
wine, even the same politics. Pretty good all around.
John McCreery
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