[haiku-web] Re: first changes to getting involved page
- From: "Dennis d'Entremont" <dennis.dentremont@xxxxxxxxx>
- To: haiku-web@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Sat, 26 Jul 2008 20:20:21 -0300
Alright. Let's give this another try.
Hope it's better. I fixed a few more things as per Urias' suggestions and
then more proof reading. Please remember I am not an english professor :P
Cheers!
DD
On Sat, Jul 26, 2008 at 1:04 PM, Dennis d'Entremont <
dennis.dentremont@xxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>
>
> On Sat, Jul 26, 2008 at 12:51 PM, Urias McCullough
> <umccullough@xxxxxxxxx>wrote:
>
>> 2008/7/26 Dennis d'Entremont <dennis.dentremont@xxxxxxxxx>:
>> > I`ve drafted a document with some changes to the getting involved page
>> > (http://www.haiku-os.org/getting_involved_in_haiku). It`s in Open
>> Document
>> > format and would like some comments as to whether or not these first
>> changes
>> > are ok. They are just minor but once I get a better idea of what the web
>> > team wants I`ll be able to make some more changes to either this page or
>> > other areas of the site that need updating.
>>
>> Thanks :) - the changes are good.
>>
>> "rapidly" is misspelled
>>
>> I think maybe the "Create Awareness" section under business sounds a
>> bit redundant - maybe we could change it to just "Marketing - ..." or
>> something, with some slightly different wording that is more
>> business-oriented.
>
>
> Sure, I'll try something else to see if it works better.
>
>
>>
>>
>> just scanning through, I see a couple more changes that would be nice.
>> First, we should try to keep it gender-neutral (i know, most people
>> don't care about this sort of thing, but it doesn't hurt):
>>
>> "having much in his wallet." should be "having much in their wallet."
>>
>> "of someone he knows." should be "of someone they know."
>>
>> etc.
>
>
> I wasn't really thinking of this sort of thing but I think you are right.
> It should be gender neutral. I will change it :)
>
>
>
>>
>>
>> I also see some grammar issues elsewhere:
>>
>> "someone to be a sizable help Haiku without having to do much" --
>> missing a "to" there I think
>>
>> Can you give it a couple of further scans for other similar errors?
>> Also feel free to change any wording that doesn't sound right, or
>> doesn't flow well.
>
>
> Sure thing.
>
>
>>
>>
>> Thanks,
>>
>> Urias
>
>
> Thanks for the feedback Urias. That's exactly what I was looking for.
>
> Dennis
>
>
>>
>> -----------------------------------------------------------------------
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>>
>>
>
>
> --
> Dennis d'Entremont
> IT Professional CNA, MCP, A+, ITIL
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>
--
Dennis d'Entremont
IT Professional CNA, MCP, A+, ITIL
LinkedIn Profile - http://www.linkedin.com/in/dennisdentremont
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