[guide.chat] Fw: GOD CREATED CHILDREN

From: "elaine nutley" <e.nutley@xxxxxxx>
To: "Jane Balmforth" <janieb1958@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx>, "Debbie Berkinshaw" <darrenanddebi@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>, "Catherine bessant" <catherine.bessant@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>, "Ann Coleman" <anncolemanq@xxxxxxxxx>, "Nicola Daley" <n_daly@xxxxxxxxxx>, "Mike Douel" <m.douel@xxxxxxx>, "Claire Evans" <claire@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>, "Marion Foster" <marion331@xxxxxxxxxxx>, "Jenifer Furnell" <jenifer.furnell@xxxxxxxxx>, "Guide Chat" <guide.chat@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>, "Marilyn Hayto" <malhayto@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>, "Alf Lewendon" <alflewendon@xxxxxxxxxxxx>, "Sally" <se.wooller@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx>, "Sheila And Brian" <bj.knight007@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx>, "Shirley Springett" <tripleckickerswdc@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>, "Joyce Welsh" <jwelsh123@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx>, <young.g@xxxxxxxxxx>
Date: Thu, 19 Jan 2012 19:20:32 -0000

Something to put a smile on your face, first thing Monday!
                                  
                                  GOD CREATED CHILDREN (AND IN THE PROCESS 
GRANDCHILDREN) 


                                To those of us who have children in our lives, 
                                whether they are our own, 
                                grandchildren, 
                                nieces, 
                                nephews, 
                                or students... 
                                here is something to make you chuckle. 

                                Whenever your children are out of control, 
                                you can take comfort from the thought that 
                                even God's omnipotence did not extend 
                                to His own children. 

                                After creating heaven and earth, 
                                God created Adam and Eve. 

                                And the first thing he said was 
                                ' DON'T !' 

                                'Don 't what ? ' 
                                Adam replied. 

                                'Don't eat the forbidden fruit.' 
                                God said. 

                                'Forbidden fruit ? 
                                We have forbidden fruit ? 
                                Hey Eve..we have forbidden fruit ! ' 

                                '  No Way ! ' 
                                'Yes way ! ' 

                                'Do NOT eat the fruit ! ' 
                                said God. 


                                'Why ? ' 

                                'Because I am your Father and I said so ! ' 
                                God replied, 
                                wondering why He hadn't stopped 
                                creation after making the elephants 

                                A few minutes later, 
                                God saw His children having an apple break 
                                and He was ticked ! 
                                'Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit? ' 
                                God asked. 

                                'Uh huh,' 
                                Adam replied. 

                                'Then why did you ? ' 
                                said the Father. 

                                'I don't know,' 
                                said Eve. 
                                'She started it! ' 
                                Adam said. 

                                'Did not ! ' 
                                'Did too ! ' 
                                'DID NOT ! ' 

                                Having had it with the two of them, 
                                God's punishment was that Adam and Eve 
                                should have children of their own. 
                                Thus the pattern was set and it has never 
changed. 

                                If you have persistently and lovingly tried to 
give children wisdom and they haven't taken it, 
                                don't be hard on yourself. 

                                If God had trouble raising children, 
                                what makes you think it would be 
                                a piece of cake for you ? 

                                THINGS TO THINK ABOUT !

                                1. You spend the first two years of their life 
                                teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend 
                                the next sixteen telling them to sit down and 
shut up. 

                                2. Grandchildren are God's reward 
                                for not killing your own children. 

                                3. Mothers of teens now know why 
                                some animals eat their young. 

                                4. Children seldom misquote you. 
                                In fact, 
                                they usually repeat word for word 
                                what you shouldn't have said 

                                5. The main purpose of holding children's 
parties 
                                is to remind yourself that there are children 
                                more awful than your own 

                                6. We childproofed our homes, 
                                but they are still getting in. 

                                ADVICE FOR THE DAY: 

                                Be nice to your kids. 
                                They will choose your nursing home one day 

                                AND FINALLY: 

                                IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION 
                                AND YOU GET A HEADACHE, 
                                DO WHAT IT SAYS 
                                ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE: 


                                'TAKE TWO ASPIRIN' 
                                AND 'KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN'!!!!!

                                Quick, 
                                send this on to ten people within the next five 
minutes. 
                                Nothing will happen if you don't, 
                                but if you do, 
                                Ten people will be laughing 
                                 
                                 
                                 
                                 
                                 
                                 
                               

                         
                                
                         
                   

           

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