URLs are privacy transgression tools, the longer they are the more they harvest, profile, pinpoint, sift, cross-fertilize, contaminate, delude and entrap both users and victims. Short URLs give the appearance of innocence but still execute the full rapacity of the long. HTTPS only compounds the transgression by adding a layer of delusion similar to false reassurance of encryption, anonymizing, privacy policies, on and on up to necessity of spying and amply funded national security nirvana and unctuous deathbed promise of heavenly layabout forever, sign this change of will, my child. In line with treacherous privacy protection (spit), annual reports of surveillance oversight are fishwrap for overseers' slothful miscreancy commensurate with spies' indolence, featherbedding, prevarication and deadbeat dependency upon delusional inebriates of national protection (hawk, spit). Natsec and comsec, privacy and citizen rights, long URLs and short, Barnum and Bailey.