I was married to a sighted man, though now he has macular degeneration. I
should be grateful that I didn't have to deal with vision loss later in
life.
He's having a hard time.
At thirty, I was somewhat attractive with a good figure. We met at a
Unitarian church. He was funny, loved camping and shared liberal and
political views. Too bad he never grew beyond that point.
Abby
-----Original Message-----
From: blind-democracy-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
[mailto:blind-democracy-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx] On Behalf Of Miriam Vieni
Sent: Sunday, April 17, 2016 2:20 PM
To: blind-democracy@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: [blind-democracy] Re: Anniversary
Well, of course, our experiences differ. It's difficult to generalize,
except that in our society, female physical attractivness is so important.
Most of the blind people whom I know who have close sighted friends or who
married sighted women, worked in agencies for the blind. The sighted people
with whom they formed relationships, also worked at those agencies. I
suppose those sighted people were more relaxed about blindness, having had
long term contacts with blind people at work. I know of three blind women
who married sighted men. Two of them were very pretty young women. The third
was also very attractive, but the sighted man whom she married had some kind
of mental disability. Actually, I just thought of a fourth blind woman,
also very attractive, married to a sighted man. They had two children, and
she left him because she fell in love with a blind man whom she met at a
guide dog school. And I also know that 60 or 70 years ago, there was a club
for blind men in New Jersey, and one of its goals was to encourage its
members to marry sighted wives. The wives didn't have to be fully sighted.
They could have partial vision if it was very good. I knew a couple who
married because the man was a member of this club. It was his wife who told
me about the club rules. She was aware that her husband married her because
she had good partial vision, and she took her role of helpmate very
seriously throughout their marriage until he died. He was a very capable man
until he became ill when he was in his seventies. She gave up her plan to
become a social worker in order to marry. They were devout Catholics and had
six children, one of whom was born deaf.
Miriam
-----Original Message-----
From: blind-democracy-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
[mailto:blind-democracy-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx] On Behalf Of Carl Jarvis
Sent: Sunday, April 17, 2016 2:59 PM
To: blind-democracy@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: [blind-democracy] Re: Anniversary
As a general rule, you are correct. However, I have several friends, blind
women, who are married to sighted men. I dated a blind woman in college who
went on to marry a sighted man. They are now retired and live within 15
miles of Cathy and myself. But of the blind women I know who are married to
sighted men, most are pretty average looking.
One standout, however. An absolutely, model perfect young woman who taught
Russian at the U of W. We dated some, but her heart was set on marrying a
man who could provide sighted assistance. She has wound up working for the
federal government in Washington DC, and supporting her sighted spouse. He
is still "finding" himself.
Also, I am friends with several couples where the husband is at least ten
years younger than their wives.
If the figures are correct, Chompsky was 21 years older than his first wife,
Carol. I wonder if she was a student of his? Many romances having such a
wide age discrepancy do occur between young college women and their "sexy,
suave" professor. That was not the case with Cathy and myself. To this day
I marvel that such an intelligent, good looking woman would agree to marry a
man 17 years her senior, with three children in tow. It was certainly not
for lack of suitors.
And it was not a case of Cathy needing to "take care" of me. I have had a
number of students in the Orientation and Training Center, male students,
who actually did find sighted women whose mission in life was to care for a
big, helpless baby. I can't think of a single one of those unions that
lasted. But whatever the magic that drew this most amazing woman into my
life, is proof to me that there are more factors involved in what causes
people to be attracted to one another than meets the eye.
Carl Jarvis
On 4/17/16, Miriam Vieni <miriamvieni@xxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
He's a bit older than I thought. I'd assumed that his first wife was
around his age. I wonder how old is second wife is. And now to the
unfairness of sex in all this. It is not unusual for older men to
partner with younger women while it is highly unusual for younger ment
to partner with older women. Of course, they sometimes do, but not
usually. And quite often, blind men partner with sighted women, but
much less frequently do sighted men partner with blind women. When
they do, the blind woman is often unusually physically attractive.
Miriam
-----Original Message-----
From: blind-democracy-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
[mailto:blind-democracy-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx] On Behalf Of Carl Jarvis
Sent: Sunday, April 17, 2016 1:17 PM
To: blind-democracy@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: [blind-democracy] Re: Anniversary
Naom Chomsky was born in 1928. His first wife, Carol, was born in
1949 and died in 2008. Chomsky and his second wife Valeria Wasserman
Chomsky, are celebrating their first wedding anniversary. I listened
to an interview with Naom Chomsky on Democracy Now, some time back.
Those interested in that interview, along with a world of great
interviews, can go to, www.democracynow.org
Carl Jarvis
On 4/17/16, Miriam Vieni <miriamvieni@xxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
You know, Noam Chomsky recently married, perhaps it was last year?the tooth?
Anyway, I think he's 85 or 86 years old.
Miriam
-----Original Message-----
From: blind-democracy-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
[mailto:blind-democracy-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx] On Behalf Of Carl ;
Jarvis
Sent: Sunday, April 17, 2016 11:14 AM
To: blind-democracy@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: [blind-democracy] Re: Anniversary
I have no illusions as to my irresistible charm and appeal toward
those youthful, desirable young women in my life. At 81, I am at
best, seen as "sweet", or "Funny". I can't count the number of times
a young woman has said, "You're very good looking...for your age."
Now that's the kiss of death to any thoughts of having a mid life
fling. I wonder what a mid life fling is called when we guys are
long in
A wishful flashback?youth.
But all of that is academic because I have a sure fire "fling controller"
named Cathy. I met Cathy ten years after becoming totally blind, and
a good five years prior to my second wife and my divorce.
During those five years of working together, I developed great
respect for the talent and wisdom that was a great part of Cathy.
Sure, being a human male type guy, I knew that she was attractive.
She was being sought after by all the eligible men in the Department,
and several who were not so eligible. But thinking of having an
affair was something that I found alien to my thinking. Not only was
it a violation of my wedding vows, it was disrespectful to both my
wife and to the desired person.
Still, it is interesting to look back on those days and see just how
quickly my feelings toward Cathy moved from liking her as a coworker,
to that of full blown love for a sexy, desirable woman.
Now, after 35 years together, I must say that it is a darn good thing
that we are in love with the entire Being that makes us who we are,
since neither of us would qualify as "desirable" by the demands of
today's
I recall reading that when he was at the end of his life, King David
had young maidens tucked into bed alongside him. I presume this was
done to rekindle the spark of life. But David died.
Too bad that he didn't have a long term love who could have sat
beside him, holding his hand as he left this world. Those old Bible
stories do cause me to think that we have not come so far in some of
our basic attitudes.
Carl Jarvis
On 4/16/16, joe harcz Comcast <joeharcz@xxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
I understand.blond hair.
Let me tell you a little story here....
I've been legally blind for decades and am a standard unit horny old
fart, though less so than in my younger days for sure.
This said I went to Catholic school here in Michigan and one of the
prettiest girls (actually downright sexy and a wet dream) was a girl
who looked like the blond types of the sixties with long blond hair
and long legs and all that stuff that befuddles we straight sort of
guys from that era.
Now I admit that I had more than lust in my heart for this lady way
back then. Some would call it a "crush".. Bullshit.
We all know that is pure and utter bullshit guys and gals.
I wanted to do the "belly bump" with her so badly I cannot express
it in words.
Yes, I was and am still nowadays a sort of pig I guess.
Regardless, and keeping on topic, more than four decades later I met
this lady at a family event, a wedding. I hugged her and we talked
endlessly. I wasn't even flirting btw....
I knew she wasn't the same woman of forty years ago but in my mind
and I mean this really she was still the petite cheerleader at St.
Mary's that I held in my perverted mind's eye. She had that long and
straight
cheek...
She had those long and shapely legs. She had the finest ass in the
county, excuse my candor here. She was a little small on the breast
size, but I never was a "breast man". And folks she had the
prettiest face in our year book. And yes I noticed faces!!
My non-blind mother commented the way home how "old" this lady looked.
I said, "Jesus you sure know how to freak up a fantasy."
Bottom line is again I'm a sort of pig I guess, and I have these
fantasies of how people look like as if that really matters...Tongue
in
people.
Seriously, now and this is one of the Blessed events of blindness
here....
I don't give a rat's ass of how people look. I really don't anymore.
I've been in love with and find women sexy and all that whom I never
would have found so when sighted.
I'm abbreviating things here.
And for my friends who are gay or have other experiences on this
list please
note that I'm only talking about my personal perspective as a
straight male
who came to puberty in the sixties.
I do not at all diminish the aspirations or attractions of same sex
I'm just a sort of aging blind guy who is straight and who is just that.
Whenever I get together with my old classmates which is once per
month nowadays they all really look the same they did decades ago to me.
I prefer that notion. I prefer the notion that I look the same.
Please don't ruin the only good thing about going blind yawl.\\
----- Original Message -----
From: "Roger Loran Bailey (Redacted sender "rogerbailey81" for DMARC)"
<dmarc-noreply@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
To: <blind-democracy@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Sent: Friday, April 15, 2016 3:08 PM
Subject: [blind-democracy] Re: Anniversary
You remind me of a conversation I had in a bar once. One of the
effects of
my blindness is that whenever I meet someone new the main subject
of conversation is my eyesight. It gets a bit tiresome. So because
of that I
was talking about the last time I saw a human being well enough to
see what they looked like. It was a nurse in a facility where I was
about to have eye surgery. Someone asked me if she was pretty. As a
matter of fact,
she was. She was quite attractive. Then a guy spouted off, "1988? I
bet she's not pretty now!" Now, let me remind all women who might
be reading this and getting a little age on them. I didn't say
that! I am only repeating what someone else said!
On 4/15/2016 2:27 PM, joe harcz Comcast wrote:
If it is any consolation we are all still young, beautiful,
handsome and
look just like the last time you saw us....Smile...
----- Original Message ----- From: "Roger Loran Bailey (Redacted
sender "rogerbailey81" for DMARC)" <dmarc-noreply@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
To: <blind-democracy@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Sent: Friday, April 15, 2016 2:06 PM
Subject: [blind-democracy] Anniversary
Today is the twenty-eighth anniversary of the last time I saw a
human being well enough to tell what they looked like.
