[adeel420] Joke some facts and questions
- From: LTC <mshaqeel@xxxxxxxxxxx>
- To: adeel420@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Mon, 30 Dec 2002 22:13:46 +0000 (GMT)
Some facts
The names of the all continents end with the same
letter with which they start
Electricity doesn't move through a wire but through a
field around the wire.
All the planets in our solar system rotate
anticlockwise, except Venus. It is the only planet
that rotates clockwise.
Hummingbirds are the only animal that can also fly
backwards.
Insects do not make noises with their voices. The
noise of bees, mosquitoes and other buzzing insects is
caused by rapidly moving their wings.
The cockroach is the fastest animal on 6 legs covering
a meter a second.
The word "listen" contains the same letters as the
word "silent".
The only 2 animals that can see behind itself without
turning it's head are the rabbit and the parrot.
A 'jiffy' is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a
second.
The whip makes a cracking sound because its tip moves
faster than the speed of sound.
A hippopotamus can run faster than a man.
India never invaded any country in her last 10000
years of history.
A snail can sleep for 3 years.
In 1883 the explosion of the volcano Krakatoa put so
much dust into the earth's atmosphere that sunsets
appeared green and the moon appeared blue around
the world for almost two years.
"Almost" is the longest word in the English language
with all the letters in alphabetical order.
Twenty-Four-Karat Gold is not pure gold since there is
a small amount of copper in it. Absolutely pure gold
is so soft that it can be molded with the hands.
***
Bizare facts
If you yelled for eight years, seven months and six
days, you would have produced enough sound energy to
heat one cup of coffee. (Hardly seems worth it!)
If you pass air consistently for six years and nine
months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of
an atomic bomb. (That one's easy to understand,
isn't it?)
The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps
out to the body to squirt blood 9.5 m. (And you
thought those Monty Python guys didn't do any fact
checking!)
A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes. (In my next life
I want to be a pig!)
Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an
hour. (Still not over that pig thing!)
Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex
for pleasure. (What about pigs?)
On average, people fear spiders more than they do
death.
The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
(Hmmm...)
You can't kill yourself by holding your breath.
Americans on the average eat 18 ha of pizza every day.
(It shows.)
Every time you lick a stamp, you're consuming
one-tenth of a calorie.
You are more likely to be killed by a champagne cork
than by a poisonous spider. (Moral: Always be willing
to pay extra for good champagne. Cheap champagne
is not worth the risk.)
Right-handed people live, on average, nine years
longer than left-handed people do. (So those teachers
that used to whack your left hand with a ruler and
make you write with your right hand were actually
trying to do you a favor, the miserable, misguided,
fascist, sadistic bastards.)
In ancient Egypt, priests plucked every hair from
their bodies, including their eyebrows and eyelashes.
(That's a real leg crosser!)
A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.
The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30
times its own weight and always falls over on its
right side when intoxicated. (How did they know
that?)
Polar bears are left-handed. (This means they live, on
average, nine years less.)
The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds. (Are our
palates just not sophisticated enough to appreciate
the complex taste of pond scum?)
The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's the
equivalent of a human jumping the length of a football
field.
A cockroach will live nine days without its head,
before it starves to death. (Creepy!)
The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head
is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by
ripping the male's head off. ('Honey. I'm home...
What the...?')
Some lions mate over 50 times a day. (Yeah, baby!)
Butterflies taste with their feet. (0h shit!)
Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.
A cat's urine glows under a black light. (That's in
case you can't smell it.)
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
Starfish haven't got brains.
***
Good scrabble player
Make different words out of a chosen word.
GEORGE BUSH: When you rearrange the letters: HE BUGS
GORE
DORMITORY: When you rearrange the letters: DIRTY ROOM
EVANGELIST: When you rearrange the letters: EVIL'S
AGENT
PRESBYTERIAN: When you rearrange the letters: BEST IN
PRAYER
DESPERATION: When you rearrange the letters: A ROPE
ENDS IT.
THE MORSE CODE: When you rearrange the letters: HERE
COME DOTS
SLOT MACHINES: When you rearrange the letters: CASH
LOST IN ME
ANIMOSITY: When you rearrange the letters: IS NO AMITY
MOTHER-IN-LAW: When you rearrange the letters: WOMAN
HITLER
SNOOZE ALARMS: When you rearrange the letters:ALAS! NO
MORE Z'S
A DECIMAL POINT: When you rearrange the letters: I'M A
DOT IN PLACE
THE EARTHQUAKES: When you rearrange the letters: THAT
QUEER SHAKE
ELEVEN PLUS TWO: When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE
***
10 stupid questions people usually ask in obvious
situations and some equally stupid answers:-
1. At the movies : When you meet acquaintances/friends
Stupid Question : Hey, what are you doing here?
Answer : Well, it's so hot, there were no cool cabs so
I thought I'd watch some advertisements in the cool
comfort of the theatre.
2. In the bus: A fat girl wearing pointed high-heeled
shoes steps on your feet
Stupid Question : Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer : No, not at all, I'm on local
anesthesia.....why don't you try again or should i try
this time."
3. At a funeral : One of the teary-eyed people ask
Stupid Question : Why, why him, of all people?
Answer : Why? Would it rather have been you?
4. At a restaurant : When you ask the waiter
Stupid Question : Is the "blah blah blah" dish good ?
Answer : No, its teribble and made of adulterated
cement. We occasionally also spit in it.
5. At a family get-together. When some distant aunt
meets you after years
Stupid Question : Munna,Chickoo, you've become so big.
Answer : Well you haven't particularly shrunk
yourself.
6. When a friend announces her wedding,and you ask
Stupid Question : Is the guy you're marrying good?
Answer : No, he's a miserable wife-beating,
insensitive lout...it's just the money.
7. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call
Stupid Question : Sorry, were you sleeping ?
Answer : No, I was playing cricket for India at
Sharjah and just when you called Salim Malik was
betting with me that Pakistan would win.
What do you think?
8. When you see a friend/colleague with evidently
shorter hair
Stupid Question : Hey have you had a haircut?
Answer : No, its autumn and I'm shedding......
9. At the dentist when he's sticking pointed objects
in your mouth
Stupid Question : Tell me if it hurts?
Answer : And while I'm telling you, you tell me if I
bite.
10. You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman asks
Stupid Question : Oh, so you smoke ?
Answer : No, it's a miracle...........it was a chalk
it suddenly started fuming.
***
Good Questions
> > Who was the first person to look at a cow and say,
"I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and
drink whatever comes out"?
> > > > > Why do toasters always have a setting that
burns the toast to a horrible crisp which no decent
human being would eat?
> > > > > Why is there a light in the fridge and not
in the freezer?
> > > > > If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why
is there a song about him?
> > > > > Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the
carpool lane?
> > > > > If the professor on Gilligan's Island can
make a radio out of coconut, why can't he fix a hole
in a boat?
> > > > > Why do people point to their wrist when
asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch
when they ask where the bathroom is?
> > > > > Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you
get undressed if they are going to look up there
anyway?
> > > > > Why does goofy stand erect while Pluto
remains on all fours?
They're both dogs!
> > > > > What do you call male ballerinas?
> > > > > Why ARE Trix only for kids?
> > > > > If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy
all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
> > > > > Why is a person that handles your money
called a 'Broker'?
> > > > > If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
> > > > > If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable
oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil
made from?
> > > > > If a man is talking in the forest, and no
woman is there to hear him, is he still wrong?
> > > > > If electricity comes from electrons, does
morality come from morons?
> > > > > Is Disney World the only people trap
operated by a mouse?
> > > > > Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle,
Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
> > > > >> > > > > Do illiterate people get the full
effect of Alphabet Soup?
> > > > > Why do they call it an asteroid when it's
outside the hemisphere,
> > > > > but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your
ass?
> > > > > Did you ever notice that when you blow in a
dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him
on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window
***
A man was touring a computer room. The technician says
to him I've just created a computer that knows
everything. Ask it any question and it will give
you the right answer'. The man types in "where is my
father?." The computer's lights start to flash. Bells
and whistles go off and out pops a card that
reads
'Your father is fishing in Michigan'. Man said 'that's
wrong! My father died 10 years ago'. The technician is
puzzled. He makes a few adjustments and says
ask the question again but stated differently. So the
man types in "Where is my mother's husband?" Again the
lights flash, the bells and whistles go off. And out
pops a card that reads 'Your mother's husband has been
dead for 10 years. Your father just caught a 5 lb
bass!
=====
__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Everything you'll ever need on one web page
from News and Sport to Email and Music Charts
http://uk.my.yahoo.com
Other related posts:
- » [adeel420] Joke some facts and questions
