[yshavurah] Fw: [IWORSHIP] IWORSHIP Digest - 7 Jul 2005 to 8 Jul 2005 (#2005-117)
- From: "Cheryl Levine" <clevineys@xxxxxxxxxx>
- To: "Havurah Listserv" <yshavurah@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Wed, 13 Jul 2005 07:48:30 -0400
I found this very interesting.
-c
----- Original Message -----
From: Ellen
To: IWORSHIP@xxxxxxxxxxx
Sent: Wednesday, July 13, 2005 1:00 AM
Subject: Re: [IWORSHIP] IWORSHIP Digest - 7 Jul 2005 to 8 Jul 2005 (#2005-117)
On Jul 9, 2005, at 10:16 AM, Paulaschwartz611@xxxxxxx wrote:
> So the challenge for this shabbat is -- not what gets people to
> shul, but
> what gets "shul" into people?
That is a question that I ask myself on a personal basis, because one
of my goals was to have a large Jewish family.
So my husband and I started a family about 29 years ago. We have five
children, all young adults now. However, not only do I not
see any inkling or desire in most of them to get to shul, but shul
seems to take no place in their "being." We were involved to a good
extent during their growing up years. We had Shabbat dinners every
week (candles, challah, wine, etc.) We celebrated the holidays
etc.
Now age may be a factor. To some extent the society they live in may
be a factor. We moved into a rather Jewish suburb when they
were young, (but maybe that was a mistake.) They grew up going to the
JCC for activities. They all went to hebrew school and religious
school and they all had a bar/bat mitzvah. 3 of the finished
confirmation. The younger 2 refused to go, and I really couldn't
force them. Maybe what we did at home or in the community was not
enough. 4 of my children have been to Israel and enjoyed it very
much. Maybe we were too secular ourselves, but religion was not on
the back burner either. We were also not the type of parents that would
isolate or limit them or be overly strict with them.
I think for the most part they do consider themselves Jewish(in a
cultural sense... )that is a good thing, but they do not see the same
bigger picture that I would like them to. Constantly they tell me
that organized religion is the cause of the world's ills in the past
and even now. They think that if there were a supreme being, this
world would not be in such a mess. They are maybe too young to look
at the Torah in a more allegorical way. They feel that services are
boring and a waste of time. I'm sure some of you
have heard all this before. In fact, my daughter took a course at the
U. of B. in Judasim that was taught be a Lubevitch professor, and
some if his black and white interpretations really turned off my
daughter to organized religion and even Judaism in genreal. I have
tried my best to turn what he told her to more reasonable terms
including explaining to her and my other kids that if they come once
in a while to services with us, it would at least make us parents
happy that we are there together as a family. My older children are a
little more understanding than my younger ones, although my eldest
has been dating a young lady from Tai wan who was brought up without
religion and has in some ways turned my son away from religion and
spirituality. What they came away from on their trips to Israel was
that the Israeli's live a secular Jewish life in general and most of
them are not religious and don't go to a shul because they live
Judaism everyday.
So will the shul become part of them? Hard to say. Maybe with time?
When I grew up, family, going to temple, participating was something
I enjoyed. Noone had to convince me (although I did not enjoy getting
up to go to "Sunday school." I wanted a family, it was part of who I
was. I did not believe in zero population growth (for Jews), a big
issue at the time I was young. Some of my children say they don't
necessarily want kids. The others don't talk about what they want. My
elder daughter does not necessarily want to get married or have kids.
My younger daughter is some what of a "free spirit" type of kid. They
do not and maybe never have had that communal within in Judaism
where their peers put religion over secular activities.
As for the congregation where I am soloist, I try to bring some kind
of spirituality into what we do; it is a part time synagogue in the
suburbs, where religion has not necessarily been a high priority for
the majority. We don't have services every week and I don't know
that we would get consensus if we decided to do so. We have Sat.
services when there is an occasional bar or bat mitzvah. I hate to
say it, but it is "Judaism Lite", but it is a start in the right
direction. Those who come regularly, have it in them to come. Those
that come once a year do not seem to have that compulsion to be
closer to the community. I was talking online to one of our
teenagers one day. I told her I had to go to light the candles. She
said, her mother never lights candles at home. The only time she sees
them lit is on the occasions that she might come to a service. On the
other hand, I lit them every week, and I don't know if it made any
impact on my children.
So I find it very difficult to answer the initial question. I hope I
don't sound negative; that was not my intention. I'm just rather
realisitc about what is going on around me. Is there an answer to the
above quesion? I don't know. We can only keep trying. The shul needs
to be the center of our lives, but I think that is more difficult
today than it was in yesteryear.
l'shalom.
Ellen Lerner, soloist
Congregation Etz Chaim
75 families
Fairport (Perinton), Ny
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