[women_of_phoenix] Re: Fwd: ACTUAL PASSPORT APPLICATION LETTER-----HILARIOUS!
- From: Chris Curran <metoo_03465@xxxxxxxxx>
- To: women_of_phoenix@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Mon, 18 Oct 2010 08:54:53 -0700 (PDT)
Priceless!!! I so needed it as I had to call the post office this morning to be
transfered 4 times to have someone tell me they couldn't verify if I had mail
there unless I came down and showed them ID, even though they KNOW it's me.
________________________________
From: Helen Knott <hiknott2@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
To: women_of_phoenix@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Sent: Mon, October 18, 2010 11:41:12 AM
Subject: [women_of_phoenix] Fwd: ACTUAL PASSPORT APPLICATION
LETTER-----HILARIOUS!
This is So TRUE!!
> WARNING - Containsa fair bit of foul language...if you can take it then read
>on, sympathise and have a laugh
>
>AN ACTUAL PASSPORT LETTER SENT: how true this is from a UK paper
>
>
>Dear Sirs
>I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe this. How
>is it that Sky Television has my address and telephone number and knows that I
>bought a bleeding satellite dish from them back in 1977, and yet, the
>Government
>is still asking me where I was bloody born and on what date? For goodness
>sake,
>do you guys do this by hand? My birth date you have on my pension book, and it
>is on all the income tax forms I've filed for the past 30 years. It is on my
>National Health card, my driving license, my car insurance, AND on the last
>eight damn passports I've had, on all those stupid customs declaration forms
>I've had to fill out before being allowed off the plane over the last 30
>years,
>and all those insufferable census forms.
> Would some body please take note, once and for all, that my mother's name
>is
>Mary Anne, my father's name is Robert and I'd be abso-fucking-lutely astounded
>if that ever changed between now and when I die!!!!!!
> I apologise, I'm really pissed off this morning. Between you and me, I've
>had enough of this bullshit! You send the application to my house, then you
>ask
>me for my fucking address !!!! What is going on? Do you have a gang of
>Neanderthal arseholes working there? Look at my damn picture. Do I look like
>Bin
>Laden? I don't want to dig up Yasser Arafat, for shit sakes. I just want to
>go
>and park my arse on some sandy beach somewhere. And would someone please tell
>me, why would you give a shit whether I plan on visiting a farm in the next 15
>days? If I ever got the urge to do something weird to a chicken or a goat,
>believe you me, you'd be the last fucking people I'd want to tell!
> Well, I have to go now, because I have to go to the other end of the poxy
>city to get another fucking copy of my birth certificate, to the tune of £30.
>Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot to assist
>in the issuance of a new passport the same day?? Nooooooooooooo, that'd be too
>damn easy and maybe makes sense. You'd rather have us running all over the
>fucking place like chickens with our heads cut off, then have to find some
>arsehole to confirm that it's really me on the damn picture - you know, the
>one
>where we're not allowed to smile?! (bureaucratic fucking morons) Hey, do you
>know why we couldn't smile if we wanted to? Because we're totally pissed
>off!
>
>Signed An Irate Citizen.
> P.S. Remember what I said above about the picture and getting someone to
>confirm that it's me? Well, my family has been in this country since 1776
>........ I have served in the military for something over 30 years and have
>had
>full security clearances over 25 of those years enabling me to undertake
>highly
>secretive missions all over the world. ......... However, I have to get
>someone
>'important' to verify who I am - you know, someone like my doctor WHO WAS
>BORN
>AND RAISED IN FUCKING PAKISTAN
>Sincerely,
>from You Sure The Hell Should Know
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