Good batch
From: The Borowitz Report <newyorker@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Date: February 24, 2021 at 11:03:02 AM EST
To: mnspector@xxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: Ron Johnson’s New Theory
During the Senate hearing on the Capitol attack, Johnson called the absence
of Hillary Clinton from the videos of the insurrection “highly suspicious.”
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Not the news.
Satire from The Borowitz Report
Ron Johnson Calls Hillary’s Absence from Insurrection Videos Suspicious
“How hard would it be for Hillary Clinton to put on some horns and fur
pelts?” the Republican senator asked. “That is vintage Hillary.”
By Andy Borowitz
Satire from The Borowitz Report
Fox: New Evidence That Hillary Killed Lincoln
The latest charge against Clinton was reported by Sean Hannity, who said that
the evidence of her role in the assassination came mainly in the form of
e-mails.
By Andy Borowitz
Satire from The Borowitz Report
Republicans Say It Is Unconstitutional to Hold Officials Accountable Unless
They Are Hillary
“The enforcement measures that the Framers created, in 1787, were intended
only to be used in cases of Hillary,” Senator John Cornyn said.
By Andy Borowitz
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“Are my thoughts fake? Is this muffin fake?”
By Walter Scott
Back to the Real News . . .
Daily Comment
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The G.O.P.’s questioning was, to put it generously, lacking in perspective.
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Our Local Correspondents
How Restaurants Survive the Long Pandemic Winter
Amid shutdowns and snowstorms, small businesses stretch to keep staff safe,
diners warm, and inspectors out of their hair.
By Nick Paumgarten
Our Local Correspondents
The Sound and the Fury of Andrew Cuomo
Assemblyman Ron Kim was bathing his children when he got an unexpected call
from the governor.
By Eric Lach
Our Columnists
Will Biden’s Iran Diplomacy Become a Shakespearean Tragedy?
Trump so rattled the global order that the damage endures after he has gone.
By Robin Wright
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