<USS Banshee> "Wonder"
- From: "Brad Ruder" <groundzero@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- To: ussbanshee@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Tue, 11 Jan 2005 21:10:05 -0800
“Wonder”
by Lt. Commander Joshua Asper
Special Guest Writer:
Lyryn Cate as Ada Grace
Disappearing back into the ship, Josh watched his fiancee enter the turbolift and wink at him before being whisked away to their quarters. Looking down at the couple's offspring, Josh smiled internally at the beautiful boy that they had made and the events which led up to their reuniting and subsequent engagement. Sighing, he moved off onto the promenade with his son out in front of him. The young man was twirling around as if he was a spaceship flying through the stars - he was definitely Academy bound.
"Cam, buddy, stay close..."
The kid disappeared into a throng of females and then zoomed out again as they laughed and waved to him. The little kid was already taking on his father's charm and abilities with women. "I'm Cameron and this is my starship!" The little kid bee-lined for another crowd of onlookers who had watched the encounter with grins on their faces.
That's my boy, Josh thought as he rushed to catch up with the youngster. "All right, champ, you've got to watch where you're going and stay close to me, OK?" He waited for the boy to smile and nod. Cameron threw his arms around Josh's neck and gave him a hug. Josh laughed and set the boy down. "Let's go, we're right down there."
Ada had stationed herself near the Banshee's docking port, hoping to... catch a glimpse perhaps of Josh before another of her "friends" left once again. It was the same old cycle and she sighed with the sick sensation of what could have been. They had been good together, or would've been, she just knew. He was different and his absence left a cold ache somewhere in the pit of her stomach.
In all her conflict, she was still forced to smile as she saw the adorable child darting in and out of the crowds. He was the sort of child that you immediately decided had to be cherished beyond belief - the sort of life that was clung to because with it lay your future. Lucky parents, she thought, as she watched the little boy run back to his father.
The breath seemed to leave her lungs as she realized just who... "Josh," the whisper left her lips involuntarily.
The boy took off again and Josh could only smile. His eyes searched the crowd as he walked down the busy promenade with his son. Out of the corner of his eye he saw her. Against a wall, nearly behind a corner, and she was watching him. His grin faded into oblivion as he practically stared her down with the most contempt and anger he could muster. This wasn't the place for this and he knew it. It was even worse because Telsia could walk up any second. He shook his head at her before continuing on his way.
The look confused her and it stung. It wasn't fair. He should never have lied, never have toyed with her like that. She at least deserved an apology... and something else was beginning to form at the edge of her mind. It's possible, she thought. Ada strode from the wall with a determined gait. He wasn't going to get off that easily. She hurried to catch him.
A nonchalant look over his shoulder made him aware of her movements. He sighed and called his son back to his side. "Stay right there, all right?" After receiving the acknowledging gesture from his son, Josh turned on his heel and stared at the approaching woman. "What do you want? I told you that we needed to forget that it ever happened. My fault, I'm sorry, and I'm leaving."
She looked at him with beautiful and quiet eyes that refused to belay her turmoil. "You can honestly forget that easily? Just looking at you, I still feel it. You are telling me you don't?"
"I think it could have been something special...if I wasn't in the position I'm in," Josh put the bags down and Cameron fell onto them as if to plop onto a comforting couch. "It can't happen. It just can't. It's wrong and you said it yourself that I should've told you. I told you. I'll go on with my life and you'll go on with yours - it's the way things have to be."
"Not necessarily," she tried again, stepping closer. "Something was wrong if you could forget her that easily... something that could be very right for us, I just know it."
Josh tilted his head, "What is your problem? Not even an hour ago you were giving me a lecture about hiding it and how it wasn't right or fair that I do so. It can't work." He brushed Cameron off the bag and then lifted them to his shoulder again before turning to head back down the corridor. "I'm sorry." He took a step and started off to his intended destination.
"Then you should tell her," she called out loudly. "Tell her how you forgot about her and nearly made love to me less than an hour ago," she emphasized.
He stopped, staring down at the son that was the product of Telsia and his love. A pang of complete regret went through him. The young boy looked up at him with those darling and almost perfect blue eyes. Those blue eyes that girls would just swim in when he was older. Josh looked at her, "She can't know. It was one little mistake that I'll never make again." He had to end it quickly, otherwise Telsia may show up and ask who he was talking to. "Now, let it go."
"I always let it go," she said in a small voice. "I let everyone go. But she needs to know. If something was that wrong that someone as simple as I could turn your head and make you forget... Then you have problems." She looked down at Cameron. "You have a beautiful child," Ada said before turning quickly, skirts swirling about her and walking away.
"Ada!" Josh called, unsure of why. He moved up to her and grabbed her arm. Spinning her, he stared into her eyes as she had done when he had called her by another name. "You're not simple. You're beautiful, smart, intellectual, and have determination. That isn't simple. That's complex at it's best. Don't settle for simple."
"I am what I am." Her voice was neither condemning nor passionate. It was simple - balanced. She stared into his eyes looking just as he had when he kissed her. She could still feel his lips on hers and unconsciously licked her lips again. It was one of those moments suspended in time for her. A moment she wished would last forever and yet despised all at the same time. Ada felt herself falling into his eyes.
He shook his head, "I'm sorry."
"So am I," she said softly, pulling away from his grasp.
Josh looked down and to the side, unsure of what to say. "You'll find someone." It was the worst line he could say, but it was the best that he could come up with given the circumstances. It was a lose-lose situation for both of them. Josh had to cut the line and get away and it would all just fade into nothing. This station was nothing more than another place for shore leave. Nothing else.
"I don't need anyone else. I have friends. All over the universe, remember? I didn't need you." She stepped closer and touched his face gently with her fingertips. "I wanted you. I desired you," she whispered as her fingertip trailed down his jawline and to his neck before she dropped her arm back to her side. "Go. But tell her," she said, turning once again.
"I can't, and you know that."
She stopped. "It has nothing to do with me. It is my gift of wisdom to you and nothing more. If it wasn't broken you would've never been in my bed. Just remember that as it eats at you and eats at you. It's not right and it never was." This time she turned her back on him and stepped away determinedly.
He picked up his bags and let her go, disappearing into the crowd and back to the life that she knew before him. Internally, he saw his young son asking him what it was all about, but knew he wouldn't answer. Grabbing his son's hand, he continued in the direction he was going when he was interrupted. The shuttle waited and the two stepped into the docking port.
Josh made one last look over his shoulder, searching for her, and wondered. Wondered what might have been. Wondered what the problem the problem between he and Telsia was. Wondered if it was all just a mistake between Ada and himself. Wondered if he should tell Telsia. He wondered what had happened and then wondered how he was going to live his life now that this obstacle had passed. He just wondered.
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