"Sin, Confession, and Repentance (to an extent)" by Ensign Cyanah Kaelyre Cyanah rushed into her quarters, her cheeks still flushed red from the embarrassment she'd felt at the meeting. Captain Morrigan was the most beautiful woman she had seen since leaving Delos. She dropped her PADD on the floor next to the couch; it bounced once on the carpet and landed upside down, forgotten along with the work it contained. Cyanah sat, or rather fell, onto the couch and squirmed, her body alight with a warm sensation like intoxication. She tried to push the thoughts of Captain Morrigan's sensual lips pulling closer to her own, locked in those stormy grey eyes, as her fingers entwined in the long, beautiful, black hair. she fluttered her eyes closed and inhaled deeply, overwhelmed. Surrendering to the inevitable, she put the door on 'privacy setting' and disappeared into her bedroom. Half an hour later, she reemerged, slightly disheveled, but with a much more peaceful mind. Sitting back down on the couch, she let out a long sigh, knowing that she needed to control this attraction to the captain, and start doing it in a timely manner before it became any more of an embarrassment. How could she have known that her first commanding officer would be the ideal of beauty on her homeworld? Cyanah hadn't contacted her family since arriving on the Banshee, and thought that maybe her older sister, Dheerah, could offer some advice on this matter. Older sisters were good for that sort of thing. She sat down at the communications terminal and sent a transmission to her family's estate on Delos. After a minute or so, her sister's face appeared on the screen, wearing an expression of moderate surprise. "Cy-Cyanah?" Dheerah rubbed at her eyes incredulously. "If this weren't my day off, I'd kill you, but Lyrah insists on being up and about at ungodly hours. I've seen the sun rise twice this week, can you believe it?" She swept her hair behind her shoulders, the unbrushed mass a fetchingly disarrayed tangle of curls. "Guess that must not be an unusual event in space. How often do orbital sunrises happen? Every half hour?" Without waiting for a reply, she ran on in Delosian, "What brings a missive from my good sister at third hour on my day off?" Cyanah smiled and masked her embarrassment at having forgotten about the time difference. "I. I'm in a unique predicament, Dhee. let me just send you a picture of her." Cyanah pressed a button and transmitted a photograph of Captain Morrigan to her sister. "That is my commanding officer, Dhee," she said, just waiting for her sister's reaction. Dheerah's expression flashed with vivid amusement. She made a soft clucking sound in the back of her throat. "If Starfleet knows what they're doing, they'll put her on the recruitment posters. 'Join Starfleet - See the Stars - if you can tear your eyes away from. what is it? Rinna Morgan?'" Dheerah fretted at her fingernails. "She's your CO, kid, and she isn't Delosian. Go find yourself a lover, and put it out of your mind." "Rhiannon Morrigan," Cyanah unconsciously corrected her sister. "And yes, you're correct. I should have stayed with Maureen; maybe she could have gotten herself assigned to the Banshee as well. She's quite beautiful, you know, even if she is Human." Cyanah folded her hands in her lap and met her sister's gaze. "It's a lot harder here, you know. Most women aren't interested in other women." "Thanks, Lyrah," Dheerah said. The viewscreen captured a rustle of white linen and Dheera tilted her head upward. When she moved back into the camera shot, she had a glass of fruit juice in her hand. "You're the one who chose struggling for romance over jockeying for position. C'est la vie. There are other fishies in the sea, as they say." She leaned into the monitor in an air of confidentiality. "Can you tell I've been spending too much time with Lyrah?" she whispered harshly. "Humans, Humans, Humans - she's obsessed! I think she should leave and go be an anthropologist or something, but." with a sigh she shrugged her shoulders "She won't leave her mother - and her mother - Nevermind about her, I'll talk to you about it later." She twisted her mouth upward into an annoyed curve. "I just want to know why everyone I get involved with has some sort of trauma. It's like spoiled milk. You do so well finding these normal girl-next-door head-screwed-on-straight types. Don't you have holodeck programs to tide you over between girlfriends?" Cyanah smiled, remembering her first holodeck program of that sort, featuring a stunning brunette named Marah. Dheerah had given it to her when she'd decided that Cyanah was old enough to properly appreciate it. "Of course, Dhee, but you know they're no substitute for the real thing. And besides, so what if I choose not to jockey for position? I can do scientific work just as well as an ensign than as a commander. Now that I'm here, I might as well enjoy myself a little more; at least I have more spare time than at the Academy." "Did I say it was a problem?" She sipped at the fruit juice, its bitter tang puckering her lips. "Tell you what, I'll go find a nice girl, talk sweet at her, convince her, entertain her, cajole her, send her to Starfleet Academy, and in four years or so you'll have yourself a ready-made Shael-Celes." She wrinkled her nose. "Which is better than I can say I'm doing, between you and me. Listen, don't be a stranger, but I have to go. Lyrah wants to go see some traveling exhibit on Klingon existentialist art. If you ask me, the Klingons should never have been allowed to go existentialist. I just can't handle the concept of a Klingon in a beret smoking a pipe and discussing the angst of the eternal verities." She grumbled, dragging her fingers through her hair, smoothing its mahogany surface. "And there may not be many women who understand the pleasures of femininity on that ship of yours, but there must be some. If you can't find them, get in touch with that friend of yours from the Academy - Kazeko, was it? - and get her to hack the psych profiles. I'm sure it'll be in there somewhere." In the background, Lyrah's fluting voice broke through Dheera's rambling conversation. "Va rajet, Lev'Shael-Shrah. Sra'chai. Be safe," she added in Standard, having picked up the habit from Lyrah. She mimed a kiss to the screen, the picture winked out rapidly, and Cyanah caught the faint grumblings of her sister muttering something about Standard. Cyanah leaned back in the chair, smiling. Her sister's unique perspective on life always had helped her make decisions, and she was glad to know that things didn't have to be different now. Dheerah was right, though; Captain Morrigan was unattainable and that was unlikely to change in the foreseeable future. Concentrating on her work was obviously the best solution, but reacquainting herself with Marah until she could find someone real could have its good points, too. Lexicon Shael-Celes - Life-Partner Va - I rajet - must go lev - younger Shael-Shrah - sister with the same Life-Mother