[THIN] OT - Friday Humor - How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb?
- From: "Kinchen, Tyler" <KinchenT@xxxxxxxxxxxx>
- To: "'thin@xxxxxxxxxxxxx'" <thin@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Fri, 12 Sep 2003 14:01:25 -0400
"Such number as may be deemed necessary to perform the stated task in a
timely and efficient manner within the strictures of the following
agreement: Whereas the party of the first part, also known as "The Lawyer,"
and the party of the second part, also known as "The Light Bulb," do hereby
and forthwith agree to a transaction wherein the party of the second part
(Light Bulb) shall be removed from the current position as a result of
failure to perform previously agreed upon duties, i.e., the lighting,
elucidation, and otherwise illumination of the area ranging from the front
(north) door, through the entry way, terminating at an area just inside the
primary living area, demarcated by the beginning of the carpet, any
spill-over illumination being at the option of the party of the second part
(Light Bulb) and not required by the aforementioned agreement between the
parties. The aforementioned removal transaction shall include, but not be
limited to, the following steps:
The party of the first part (Lawyer) shall, with or without elevation at his
option, by means of a chair, step stool, ladder or any other means of
elevation, grasp the party of the second part (Light Bulb) and rotate the
party of the second part (Light Bulb) in a counter-clockwise direction, said
direction being non-negotiable. Said grasping and rotation of the party of
the second part (Light Bulb) shall be undertaken by the party of the first
part (Lawyer) with every possible caution by the party of the first part
(Lawyer) to maintain the structural integrity of the party of the second
part (Light Bulb), notwithstanding the aforementioned failure of the party
of the second part (Light Bulb) to perform the aforementioned customary and
agreed upon duties. The foregoing notwithstanding, however, both parties
stipulate that structural failure of the party of the second part (Light
Bulb) may be incidental to the aforementioned failure to perform and in such
case the party of the first part (Lawyer) shall be held blameless for such
structural failure insofar as this agreement is concerned so long as the
non-negotiable directional codicil (counter-clockwise) is observed by the
party of the first part (Lawyer) throughout.
Upon reaching a point where the party of the second part (Light Bulb)
becomes separated from the party of the third part ("Receptacle"), the party
of the first part (Lawyer) shall have the option of disposing of the party
of the second part (Light Bulb) in a manner consistent with all applicable
state, local and federal statutes.
Once separation and disposal have been achieved, the party of the first part
(Lawyer) shall have the option of beginning installation of the party of the
fourth part ("New Light Bulb"). This installation shall occur in a manner
consistent with the reverse of the procedures described in step one of this
self-same document, being careful to note that the rotation should occur in
a clockwise direction, said direction also being non-negotiable.
NOTE: The above described steps may be performed, at the option of the party
of the first part (Lawyer), by said party of the first part (Lawyer), by his
heirs and assigns, or by any and all persons authorized by him to do so, the
objective being to produce a level of illumination in the immediate vicinity
of the aforementioned front (north) door consistent with maximization of
ingress and revenue for the party of the fifth part."
Regards,
Tyler Kinchen
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