[TheNoir] In Her Eyes
- From: Johnathon Micheals <laughingcorpse07@xxxxxxxxx>
- To: Noir <thenoir@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Sun, 19 Dec 2004 01:12:43 -0800 (PST)
In Her Eyes
by M.E. Nicks and Anita Tessasohn
It felt like a heavy weight against her throat. It felt like she was being
attacked. Anita opened her eyes, body moving slow that she frowned wondering
why her body felt so sore. Shane, Anita thought, remember the punch she
received. Everything was darkness after that. She looked around, too groggy to
think, but registered that she was in sickbay. It took a lot of effort to move
of the bed. Her chest felt like a hot anvil weighing her down. Anita wanted
out, she had to find Shane and finish what he started.
M.E. walked out of Anais? office with a cup of coffee. She saw Anita trying to
get out of the bed and quickly went over to her. She sat the coffee down and
then gently grabbed Anita by the shoulders. She looked tired from sitting with
Anita since she came down from the bridge, but she tried not to let it show.
"Easy Anita. Between your injuries and the herbs Anais pumped into you, moving
to quickly isn?t a good idea."
Anita tried shrugging Maureen off, feeling a slight anger for being stopped.
Maureen's hand was off her shoulders and Anita tried balancing herself to get
down from the bed when she screamed. Her right hand hurt so much all she could
do was just drop onto her feet sending a sharp pain to her bruised knee and not
ending until it passed her chest and neck. The neck was Anita's worst injury.
"Don't," Anita's voice muffled by pain. She didn't need anyone's help. All she
needed was herself. Shaking her head slightly, it took more effort not to send
her focus spinning than locking to something she could concentrate on. She
started walking. Someone removed her boots and the cold floor wasn't helping
with her pains.
It didn?t surprise M.E. that Anita didn?t want help or that she was going to
ignore the pain she must be feeling. Showing any type of emotion, pain, or
possible weakness was just not an option. "You shouldn?t be moving yet, Anita.
Your pretty fucked up. Come back and lay down or I?ll have the computer beam
you back." M.E.?s voice was firm but it was also soft. Maybe a little more soft
and caring then M.E. would have liked, but it was honest.
Her path to the door was shaky. Anita held her left hand out, trying to provide
some sort of balance and aim to where she was headed to. It was too much and
Anita had to fight off the pain that kept her out of focus. It wasn't until she
tripped on her own feet, sending Anita falling to her knees.
M.E. couldn?t help but roll her eyes and smile just faintly. She walked over to
Anita and knelt down next to her. She reached out and brushed hair from her
sweat soaked forehead as she said, "Goddamn you?re hardheaded. Come on
SuperBitch you need to lay down. That?s an order."
M.E. helped Anita to her feet while the other woman tired in vain to push her
away. Once they were both standing, M.E. made Anita look at her as she held
tightly to her shoulders. "Stop fighting me, Anita. You?re not pushing me away
so knock it off."
She couldn't concentrate, but she heard every word Maureen said, "I still don't
get," Anita swallowed, "why you care." There was something Anita must have
missed, as she found herself back on the bed.
After pouring the other woman a glass of water and helping her into a sitting
position that was comfortable, M.E. thought about her answer to Anita?s
question but instead of answering her honestly she devised to stick with their
game. "Why shouldn?t I care?"
"Don't tell," Anita coughed, "Don't tell me. I'm important to you?" Taking the
glass of water, she began to slowly sip away. Water burned, and Anita found
that irritating for such a simple function.
"I can?t honestly explain why, seeing as how all you?ve done since helping
yourself to my ship has caused me one problem after another," M.E. began as she
used a warm wet cloth to start cleaning away some of the dried blood and sweat
from Anita?s face. "but yes you are important to me." M.E. stopped herself
before she said to much. M.E. knew that if Anita knew that she was doing things
like sitting with her and taking care of her, things she?d do in a heart beat
for Alex, Cervin, or Anais, Anita would use it against M.E.
"You shouldn't. You're better of hating me," Anita didn?t want to close her
eyes and sleep. All she wanted was to get up and kill Shane. That's all that
mattered.
M.E. sat down on the stool she?d pulled up to the bed. "I don?t want to hate
you. I?m not even sure I could." She told her. "Shane?s being handled. Killing
him won?t do anything but make things worse. I won?t let him get away with
hurting people I care about, Anita, and like it or not that includes you."
Anita felt her jaw. Pretty swollen, and it really surprised her that she was
able to talk. Anita looked at her, "I still don't understand it. Where's that
doctor of yours, she must be making me suffer since I?m not patched up
already." Anita smirked, "Won't be surprised."
"Anais healed everything she could for the moment." M.E. explained. "There?s a
lot of swelling that needs to go down before she can finish, and so you know
she?d never allow anyone to suffer needlessly. She?s left some herbal pain
relives for you. She was wiped out after having to see to Bella, then Shane,
and then you. I had her go home. It?s just the two of us down here."
M.E. walked over and picked up one of the hypo sprays that Anais had left and
then walked it back over to Anita. She bushed the limp, damp, strands of blonde
hair away from Anita?s neck with a delicate caress of her fingers, and then
pressed the hypo softly to the exposed neck. "That should help some."
Anita rubbed her neck instinctively. She looked at Maureen, it felt weird-
whatever these feelings were, "And your reason for staying here? You can go, I
can't make it to the exit."
M.E. tucked her own long hair behind her ears and then sat back against the
back of the stool. "I?m not here to play guard, Anita. If I were only worried
about you getting out I?d have the bed?s restraining field in place. I?m here,
I?ve been here, because I want to make sure your alright and so you don?t have
to be alone."
A small smile formed from Anita, "don't you know by now, Maureen. I am alone,
I'll always be alone. Especially on this ship." She just turned, looking away.
Anita hated having these small talks, she'd rather be cutting someone. Where's
Bella when you need her, Anita suddenly snickered, but stopped abruptly as it
pierced her chest like a knife. "Fuck, Shane's gonna pay," she mumbled, holding
her side.
"Yes he will but not at your hand." M.E. said, the tone of her voice sounding a
little harsher then it had been. "Don?t you understand? If you attack him,
he?ll attack you. It won?t end until one of you is dead which will just lead to
the other one ending up dead." M.E. got up off the stood and towered over Anita
and the bed. "If you kill Shane then Bella, Cervin, and that kid will kill you.
If Shane kills you," Something dark flashed in M.E.?s eyes. "I?ll kill him
myself."
M.E. took in a deep breath and then let it out slowly. She grabbed Anita?s chin
and made her look at her, careful not to cause the woman pain. Two sets of
brown eyes looked into each other for a moment. "Why is it so hard for you to
get that your not alone anymore? Especially on this ship."
"I suppose now is the perfect time," Anita looked at her, "Imagine when you
were a little girl, and your entire world revolved around your mother, your
sister. Where nothing in the universe could worry you. Where all your love and
trust was only for them."
She waited for a few moments, seeing that Maureen had registered it. Anita's
eyes drained away, "now kill them."
M.E. tried not to show her reaction to the images she?d pictured, but she knew
that some of the emotion washed over her face. "Tell me what happened, Anita."
She asked softly.
Her gaze was empty, there was no emotion, no twitch, nothing flashed through
those solid dark brown eyes. "Orions have a way with getting what they need.
Especially if you're a commodity in their eyes. One doesn't walk the streets in
the dark. But we had no choice. Orions, in every sense of their species, are
horny by nature. They made me watch as they raped my mother," her anger started
swelling unexpectedly, "my sister. Both were beaten, raped, beaten again. Until
they died, screams that faded a long time ago as I was strapped to a seat."
Anita looked as if she was wavering, "And they nearly got to me. Lucky me, they
were spent.
"So you see, dear," Anita gave Maureen a tired look. Her anger was subsiding-
it was a surprise, "I've been alone. And death is all I understand."
M.E. wiped tears from Anita?s cheeks. Tears that M.E. was pretty sure the woman
didn?t even realize she was shedding. "What happened to your family Anita is
awful. I understand your pain, Anita, I know our losses are different and the
pain is different, but I do understand." M.E. sat on the edge of the bed and
looked down at the other woman.
"But you?re wrong about death being all you know." M.E. was taking a chance and
she knew it. Anita hadn?t caught her slip earlier, she?d sensed her need to get
Shane, the herbs and her physical pain were keeping Anita from blocking M.E.?s
telepathy. "You still love them, you miss them so much that it hurts. That?s
why you hide in the dark, you?re hiding from your feelings, your pain. I?ll
help you out of it, out of the dark, if you?ll let me, Anita. You don?t have to
be alone anymore."
"No," Anita shook her head, "get out. Get out, or I walk out." Anita looked
down, "go. Leave me alone."
She?d hit a nerve and M.E. knew if she didn?t want a total break down of what
they?d been painstakingly building, she couldn?t push anymore. "Alright, Anita.
I?ll send for Anais and I?ll go, but if you want me to come back all you need
do is call me." M.E. stood up, and kissed Anita?s forehead. "Try and get some
sleep. You?re safe in here. Anais won?t let anyone in."
"I'll keep you to that," Anita replied softly and tried her best to lay back
down. She closed her eyes and just thought, kill Shane. Kill Shane.
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