[ SHOWGSD-L ] Re: dogaholics anonymous - the answers!
- From: Wasatchgld@xxxxxxx
- To: showgsd-l@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Fri, 28 Sep 2007 12:35:15 EDT
In a message dated 9/28/2007 7:36:31 A.M. Mountain Daylight Time,
shadowland22000@xxxxxxxxx writes:
Dogaholics Anonymous...
Good Afternoon. I am a DOGAHOLIC. I would like to welcome all of
you to this month's meeting of "Dogaholics Anonymous". Some of you are
here tonight because a friend or relative brought you. You may be
sitting here thinking that you are OK, and that you really don't need
any help.
It is not easy to admit that you are a Dogaholic, and it is even
harder to bring yourself to a DA meeting for help. DA is here to assist
you. I have some questions to ask. If you can answer YES to three or
more of the following questions, you have come to the right place.
* Can you say "BITCH" in public without blushing?
--- Of course! But not with as much emphasis and conviction as
some of my 'non-dog owning' friends!
* Do you drive a station wagon, van, RV or 4x4 when everyone else
drives a real car?
---- I have both a car and a 4x4 truck - almost everyone in Utah does ;-)
* Do you have more than one car? One for you, and one for the
dogs?
----- Why? My dogs share both vehicles - I almost never get asked
to drive in car pools <G>!
* Do you spend your vacations and holidays going to shows,
specialties, and seminars, when everyone else goes on a cruise?
---- Whenever I can afford it
* If you do go overseas, is it London in March to attend Crufts,
or Finland in June to attend the World Dog Show?
---- Nope - I go to Hawaii. Once I happened across a dogshow
in Kaneohe and spent a lovely afternoon enjoying the trade winds,
salt air and dogs!
* Do you discuss things at the dinner table that would make most
doctors leave in disgust?
--- No... but I've had my stomach turned by some of the topics
brought up by the RN and CNA in the family!
* Do you consider formal wear to be clean jeans, and freshly
washed tennis shoes?
--- Nah - those are what I wear to work!
* Is your interior decorator R.C. Steele?
--- Can't afford the shipping on large items.
* Was your furniture and carpets chosen to match your dogs?
--- Of course!
* Are your end tables really dog crates with tablecloths thrown
over them?
--- Hmmm - I hadn't thought of throwing a tablecloth over it.
* Do you know the meaning of CD, CDX, UD, UDX, TD, TDX, HIC, JH,
SH, MH, OTCH, CH, AJ, AJX, MACH, FD, VST, FTCH, WC, FC, OAJ, NGDC and
AFC?
---- Only some of them, but I'm working on it, LOL!
* Is your mail made up primarily of dog catalogs, dog magazines,
show photos and premium lists?
--- I wish! At least they're a bright spot among those pesky bills.
* Do you get up before dawn to go to training classes, dog shows
and seminars...but have trouble getting up for work?
----Yep!
* If you have dresses, do they all have pockets? Do those pockets
often contain freeze-dried liver, Rollover, clickers, or squeaky toys?
They did, but now I show in slacks.
* When you meet a new person, do you always ask them what kind of
dog they have... and do you pity them if they don't have one?
--- I don't pity them, but I am suspicious of them. I don't trust people
who don't like dogs!
* Do you remember the name of their dog before you remember their
name?
--- You mean their names aren't really "The Collie Lady" or
"The Boxer Guy"?
* Do you find non-dog people boring?
--- Only when I have to spend time with them.
If you answered YES to one of the above, there is still hope. If
you answered YES to two of the above, you are in serious trouble.
If you answered YES to three or more, you have come to the right
place.
My advice to all of you with three or more YES answers is to sit
back and smile, turn to the smiling person next to you, and know that
your life will always be filled with good friends, good dogs, and it
will NEVER be boring!
Janice Buchanan
Wasatch-Gold German Shepherds
_http://wasatchgold.brinkster.net/_ (http://wasatchgold.brinkster.net/)
"If our dogs were smarter, they could tell us what they were
thinking. If we were smarter, they wouldn't need to."
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