[ SHOWGSD-L ] To my friends
- From: "David Fritsche" <d_fritsche@xxxxxxxxxx>
- To: <showgsd-l@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Sat, 19 Aug 2006 20:44:57 -0700
I've made a lot of friends in the dog world and on this list, yet I have
never shared with you the rules for our friendship... You see, all
relationships have rules. Some are encoded, like the rles for our club, the
rules for our board meetings, the rules for the dog shows, etc., but like an
ice burg which only displays 1/3 of its surface, all relationship have
unwritten rules that are sub-surface - not seen, not written - but we all
know they are there. Sometimes we only know what they are when we violate
them and the power structure comes down on us. Yes, they are there!!
Rather than guess, let me tell you my rules for our relationship......
You can say to me anything you wish. We will always be different, so
discussing things will enrich both of us. But when we talk, I will not stand
above you to take power from you. I am not your parent or your judge. I am
your friend. Nor will I stand beneith you to be chastised by you. We are
equals, so I will always stand beside you, with you.
When you mess up, I will let you know - privately, between you and me. Do
not fear me, for I will not expose you to public humiliation - for you are
my friend. If I mess up, I expect the same.
If you do something grossly illegal or immoral, I will not cover for you,
but I will not forsake you either. I will go with you to jail if need be,
for I am your friend. I will not publish your sin or gloat at your failure.
I will stand beside you and expect you to regain your balance, re-establish
your honor and move toward maturity. And I will expect the same in return.
I will encourage you to excell in life and be better than I am, and when you
do, I will not be jealous of your accomplishments. I will rejoice in your
genius as if it were my own.
I will trust that your actions, intentions and performance on the stage of
life are well intended, even when I think you should have done otherwise.
You see, to do otherwise makes me your judge and that I cannot be, for I am
your friend.
When you are attacked, I will consider it an attack on me also, for we
occupy the same space and share the same direction - for we are friends.
We do not have to be maudlin, mushy or sentimental about our relationship
for it is not a marriage, but neither is it an adversarial stance. We do not
stand face to face, above or below, but beside..... for we are friends.
Possibly, if we can pull this off, we will infect others also, so that all
of us together on the list and in the show world can someday be friends
also.....
Dave
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