[ SHOWGSD-L ] THE HUMAN BEING STANDARD
- From: Barbara Galasso <uwish@xxxxxxxxxx>
- To: showgsd-l@xxxxxxxxxxxxx, Germanshepherds4show@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Fri, 04 Mar 2005 14:04:27 -0500
THE HUMAN BEING STANDARD
by
Barbara J. Galasso
Of course, as in our Human Being Standard and depending upon who is
judging on any given day, it is left open to interpertation as to what
signifies a good or ideal Human Being. Some judges must have a good
front, others insist upon a great rear, while still others temperament
reigns supreme and without it, you won't win under them. So just what
does the ideal Human Being Standard call for and what does it take to be
a "winner"?
GENERAL APPEARANCE: The first impression of an ideal human being is one
who is well muscled rather than flabby, alert rather than half dead,
taller rather than wider, a hard, lean working machine, secondary sex
characteristics are prounounced. If male - we're talking here -
Harrison Ford, Richard Gere, Brad Pitt. If female - as clsoe to Halle
Berry, Angelina Jolie or Shania Twain as you can get.
SIZE, SUBSTANCE: The desired height for males is 6 feet and above from
the top of his head to the tip of his toes. For females, the desired
height is anywhere in between as long as she looks like the
aforementioned ideal woman from those above. Size and substance should
give you the impression of one who is not too round, no pot bellies, no
sagging flesh.
HEAD: Males should be masculine and strong with a chisleled bone
structure although if all other things are equal, then even a little
coarseness is okay there........it kind of adds to his masculinity. The
model look "scrowl" with furrowed brow is only to be considered a minor
fault and shouldn't be too heavily penalized. Females should have high
cheek bones, arched brows, almond shaped eyes, full mouth not enchanced
by collegen injections, with a clear, flawless, blemish free
complexion. A few stray whiskers on a male is acceptable, but a
disqualification on a female.
TEETH: Most any number is acceptable as long as they're your own. No
dentures please. No missing teeth in front or sides of mouth that can
be viewed when you smile. Anyone who has had teeth replaced with a gold
or silver tooth that can be seen when they smile shouldn't smile at all
or suffer the penalty of being put to the end of the class.
NECK, TOPLINE, BODY: The neck is long and lean and swan like. Any
folds of skin, wrinkles, creepiness, or age spots are undesirable.
Goose necks, overly pronounced Adams apples and sunken in hollows at the
bottom of the neck are all major faults and should be dealt with
accordingly. The body should be well toned, not spongy or flabby and be
willing to perform for what it was bred for: having and rearing
children, car pooling, mowing the lawn, feeding and picking up after the
dog, channel surfing, cooking dinners, washing dishes, scrubing the
floor, tolerating the inlaws and crabby neighbors, all done behind a
smiling face no matter what's going on inside your head and what you are
really thinking. None of these thoughts should be expressed because
depending upon the judge can be considered a major fault and cause for
disqualification.
TOPLINE: The ideal human being is to stand upright, no rounding of
shoulders, no crouching over when walking, or holding the hip area when
in motion. The topline should be smooth without any bumps, or humps,
and curvy rather than angular.
ABDOMEN: As called for in the German Shepherd Dog standard - firmly
held and not paunchy. For males: a six pack iron stomach. For
females: an iron board abdomen is the only one acceptable. Any rolls,
or hanging flesh is a disqualification.
HINDQUARTERS, TAIL & CROUP: The ideal hindquarter, tail end and croup
for both males and femails is "bootilicious". Any flat, drooping or
dimpled rears is considered a serious fault.
FOREQUARTERS & CHEST: The shoulders should be held back with a proud
posture. For males, the chest should be deep and well filled out with
bulging, rippled muscles. For females, any chest size that is well
filled in with no sagging is acceptable
FEET: The ideal human being foot is small, well groomed and compact.
Any calluses, corns, long ungroomed toenails and offensive odors is room
for immediate disqualification.
GAIT: For both males and females, the ideal gait is an atheletic
sprint. Males should not have an exaggerated strut nor should females
have an exaggerated swinging of the hips. Any wobbling or shifting or
hopping in their gait is considered a serious fault. Suspicion of
steriod use in either sex is cause for immediate disqualification.
COAT: (or in this case HAIR): For males, hair can be any color of
black, brown, blonde, or salt & pepper. Any baldness is undesirable,
but will be considered secondary if all other things are of supieror
quality. Any pony tails, or hair hanging below the ears is considered a
long coat and although not a disqualification, considered a minor
fault. For females, hair can be any color of black, brown, blonde, or
salt & pepper. For females all hair length is acceptable, although in
her case, long is most desirable and not considered a long coat.
TEMPERAMENT: The human being should be approachable at all times under
all circumstances. Any signs of aggressiveness, foul mouth, crankiness,
ill tempered, sacrcastic, back stabbing, gossiping, jealousy, holding
back of affection, yelling & screaming, moodiness, lying, stealing and
down right a pain in the butt to live with is all considered
disqualifications and SHOULD be removed from the ring. Any person
attempting to bite the judge after they lose the first place ribbon is
banned from every being shown again.
PRICE FOR A HUMAN BEING: PET QUALITY: good companion, follows you
around like your shadow. Nice to have around and sometimes you don't
mind being seen with them - Cost: $a buck fifty.$ OBEDIENCE QUALITY:
Proud to be seen with them. They are at your beck and call bringing you
your slippers, having your dinner on the table when you come home, but
can become boring because they don't have a will of their own because
they're always doing your will: tough call, to some worth their weight
in gold, to others who are bored with them - Cost: $a buck fifty and
up.$ SHOW QUALITY: if they have all of the mentioned qualities that
was described in the Head, Body, and Temperament section of this
standard then, hock everything you own, get a second mortgage, do what
ever it takes to have one of these creatures hanging off your arm -
Cost: we're talking big money here folks, the house the car, the pool -
$$$$$$$$!!!!!!!! BREEDING QUALITY: these are the most fun to have
because you constantly get a chance and the FUN to try and produce the
Show Quality. And you can keep doing it until you get it right and
produce that Star. But of course by the time you do produce and
condition this Star your funds are so exhausted trying to hold on to
this Show Quality human being that you decide it's better to stick with
the Pet or Obedience quality human being - Cost: $minus, in the black,
bankrupt.$ ALL OTHER QUALITIY HUMAN BEINGS: take it in the back yard
and shoot it.&%@#!!!!!!
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