[ SHOWGSD-L ] OT: nothing but the truth - For women - and the men that can take it..
- From: Susan Madlung <stormygsd@xxxxxxx>
- To: ShowGSD-l <showgsd-l@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Sun, 30 Oct 2005 20:33:24 -0800
Sue Madlung - Shadowacre Reg'd German Shepherds
http://www.shadowacre.com
WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST
She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.
Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.
WOMEN'S REVENGE
"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to
purchase.
As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a remote control for a television set
in her purse.
"So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked.
"No," she replied," but my husband refused to come shopping with me,
I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally."
MARRIAGE SEMINAR
While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication,
Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor,
"It is essential that husbands and wives know each other's likes and dislikes."
He addressed the man, "Can you name your wife's favorite flower?"
Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, "It's Pillsbury,
isn't it?"
WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument, and neither of them wanted to
concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked
sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?""Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."
W O R D S
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day.
30,000 to a man's 15,000.
The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to
men...
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"
CREATION
A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so
beautiful
all at the same time.
The wife responded, "Allow me to explain.
God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!"
WHO DOES WHAT
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee
each morning.
The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't
have to wait as long
to get our coffee."
The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here, and you should do
it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."
Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the
man should do the coffee."
Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the
top of several pages, that it indeed says.........."HEBREWS"
The Silent Treatment
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other
the silent treatment.
Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake
him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a
piece of paper,
"Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM
and he had missed his flight.
Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he
noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.
God may have created man before woman,
but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.
SEND THIS TO SMART WOMEN WHO NEED A LAUGH AND TO MEN YOU THINK CAN HANDLE IT !
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