[ SHOWGSD-L ] Lessons Learned
- From: "The Crystal Crow" <thecrystalcrow@xxxxxxxxx>
- To: showgsd-l@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Fri, 20 Jul 2007 18:13:06 -0400
What I really hate are pressure gates. Y'know-baby gates, dog gates-whatever
you use them for; they are OUT TO GET YOU. You think they're useful, but
turn your back and they try to pull a fast one. They'll give you a bump
here, a bruise there, or worse, try to break most of the bones in your
clumsy body.
I've spent a heavily medicated week turning the color of a Canadian sunset
due to one of my dog gates-the one that keeps the dogs out of, yet lets the
air conditioning into, my bedroom while I'm at work. You see, it's not
really my bed unless I'm home. When I'm not around, it is the dog bed and
playpen (that should be in capital letters: Dog Bed and Playpen!). In order
to circumvent this unauthorized use, I got the brilliant idea to use a
pressure gate to close off the bedroom. Dogs out, cool air in. What could be
more perfect?
A prefrontal lobotomy could be more perfect.
You see, I forgot to take into account that I am the clumsiest, most
accident-prone individual to walk the face of this earth. When I tripped
over the darned thing the first time and just sprained my ankle, I thought,
"Well, I'll OPEN the gate from now on", lesson learned, right? I just didn't
take into account how sneaky the things are. Weeks later, when I was
ambushed from behind (well, when the dogs knocked over the gate that I had
precariously leaned against the dresser and I fell, spraining my other ankle
and my wrist), I thought, "I'll never lean that THERE again!" Lesson
learned, right?
Wrong. Oh, so wrong.
I came home from work on Tuesday and let the fur monsters out to play, I
hurried to my bedroom, and was in the process of taking off my shirt in the
hall when I thought, "That's funny, I swore I put the gate up." That was the
last thought I had for several minutes. When my graying vision cleared, I
was staring at dog hair. Nothing unusual there, I thought-I'm a German
Shepherd owner-I see lots of dog hair. But this dog hair looks different.
It's dark. Why is it dark? Oh-it's under the bed. That makes sense. Then I
began to feel, well, PAIN. Lots of pain. Maybe I can just lie here for
awhile and commune with the dog hair. Wouldn't that be nice? Then a
thought-THE DOGS ARE OUTSIDE! MUST GET UP!
It took me a good ten minutes to get back on my feet after disentangling
myself from the pressure gate that I had walked right into. I got the dogs
in and fed, then eased myself into a bath full of Epsom salts and went to
bed (just to lie there for awhile-I didn't dare sleep). The next day I was a
mass of bruises, and I couldn't move my right arm. I had to help teach a
software class in the morning, so I coffeed up and went to work. I got
through the class and then headed for the doctor. Several x-rays, a sling, 2
prescriptions and the phrase, "You really did it right, didn't you?" from my
doctor and I was in bed for 2 days to recuperate from: a strained ankle, two
bruised knees, a popped wrist, bruised clavicle, possible torn rotator cuff,
two sprung ribs and a concussion, as well as lots more bruises from hips to
heels.
These gates are made out of wood. I have a nice firepit in the back yard.
Need I say more?
Lesson learned.
Kristal
PS: Healing nicely, took the sling off today and was back at work all day.
The doc says PT for the shoulder, but I think it will be fine. I'll decide
after I see how it feels on Monday. Everything is OK, just rattled my bones
a bit. I've had the best of care from warm, fuzzy "nurse dogs" all week. I
have to laugh at these things-humor is the best medicine around. I haven't
had a chance to read email for the last few days, so I should have called
this 'Dangerous Dog Equipment" for The List. :)
--
The Crystal Crow
2107 Ginter Street
Richmond, VA 23228
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