Thanks Leonie
You have definitely brightened my day!
Cheers
Helen
On 7 Aug 2020, at 12:57 pm, Leonie & Peter <leopet@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
Hello all
Just a bit of humour to brighten your Covid Day - I enclose my
brother-in-law’s take on life in the coronavirus era (with his permission)
- which may one day pass into our family histories:
The Adventures of a COVID Mask First-time User
Putting it on for the first time requires a decision of what order to put on
your glasses, the beanie, and the hold-up mask. Normally, it's best if the
glasses go on before the beanie. And best if the mask goes on before the
glasses. But in this weather, the beanie cries 'Me first!' And it wants to go
over the ears. So, put the goddam mask on first, before the glasses. Although
it's hard to find it, without the glasses.
Ten minutes of this and I'm ready to go.
After five minutes the glasses have fogged up. I can't see where I'm going. I
cross the road on what I think is a pedestrian crossing. A car horn sounds,
repeatedly, and none too politely.
I need a coffee, so I pop in and order a takeaway (I still can't bring myself
to say 'to go'). As I place the order, the mask collapses into my mouth.
Muffledly, I say I'd like a small latte with one sugar, please. I don't know
what it must have sounded like, but I end up getting a short black, no sugar.
Whatever. Walking to my destination, the hospital, I take my much-anticipated
first mood-lifting sip. I forget I'm wearing a mask. The mask now has a
round coffee stain at the mouth. A bit like Munch's scream, really. I should
have got one of those thick Turkish coffees, then at least it would be
filtered.
Arriving at the hospital, I dutifully put the mask back on, and encounter
some strange looks from the nurses. One of them asks if I'd like a new mask.
I'm ushered into where they do the COVID test, asking if I can get a doctor's
certificate for work from them. She says I can ask the nurse after the test
for a certificate of attendance.
The testing nurse rams a swab to the back of my throat. I gagg. Then she
says, You'll gagg. She pushes another swab up each nostril. I'm sitting down,
but rise as the swab goes up and up.
And it's over. Just like that. I forget to ask for the certificate. It's hard
enough remembering anything these days, let alone when a cotton tip's rammed
up your nose.
I ask work if I need to go back and get the certificate. Oh yes, you surely
do! Well, it's a bureaucracy, after all.
But so much for the 72 hours isolation. (Or when you get the result, IF it's
negative, said the nurse, who must have said it too many times.)
Now we all know what to expect! Yesterday was actually the first time that my
partner & I have worn our masks – we were both unavoidably up close &
personal with the eye specialist – who would want her job?!
FYI: Bob (the writer – he does little ditties & expert calligraphy, too) got
his results after 2 days: NEGATIVE.
Thank goodness.
Cheers everyone and stay safe
Leonie
From: sagwdg-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx [mailto:sagwdg-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx] On ;
Behalf Of Lilian Magill (Redacted sender "lhabberton2000" for DMARC)
Sent: Sunday, 2 August 2020 9:06 PM
To: sagwdg@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: [sagwdg] SAG WDG Coffee 'n' Chat AFTERNOON
Evening,
I hope that everyone has their internet back, after Telstra’s problems,
today. I read a book, so relaxing.
Coffee ‘n’ Chat tomorrow, looking forward to seeing you.
Lilian Magill is inviting you to a scheduled Zoom meeting.
Topic: Coffee 'n' Chat AFTERNOON
Time: Jul 20, 2020 03:00 PM Canberra, Melbourne, Sydney
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Bye for now, Lilian
