[sac-forum] new element
- From: Chuck Akers <akersc@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- To: SAC Forum <sac-forum@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Tue, 27 Aug 2002 19:05:15 -0700 (PDT)
A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the
heaviest element yet known to science. This new element has been tentatively
named "Administratium ."
Administratium has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons,and 111
assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles
are held together by a force called morons, which are surrounded by vast
quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.
Since Administratium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected
as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount
of Administratium causes one reaction to take over 4 days to complete when it
would normally take less than a second.
Administratium has a normal half-life of 3 years; it does not decay but instead
undergoes a reorganization, in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and
deputy neutrons and assistant deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact,
Administratium's mass will actually increase over time, since each
reorganization causes some morons to become neutrons forming isodopes.
This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to speculate that
Administratium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in
concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass."
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