[real-eyes] Fw: Holiday Eating Tips

From: "Reginald George" <sgeorge@xxxxxxxxx>
To: <real-eyes@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Date: Mon, 8 Dec 2008 11:46:43 -0600
I thought this was timely with our party coming up next week.
Reg


Eating Tips for The Holidays  


1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows 
nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave 
immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.  
  
2. Drink as much eggnog as you can and quickly. You can't find it any other 
time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in 
every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an "eggnog-aholic" or 
something. It's a treat. Enjoy it!!!! Have one for me. Have two. It's later 
than you think. It's Christmas!  
  
3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. 
Gravy does not stand-alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed 
potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.  
  
4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole 
milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an 
automatic transmission.  
  
5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your 
eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's 
food for free. Lots of it. Hello???  
  
6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You 
can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for 
long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 
10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.  
  
7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted 
Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them 
and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of 
attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, 
you're never going to see them again.  
  
8. Same for pies. Apple, pumpkin and mincemeat - have a slice of each. Or, if 
you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. 
When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?  
  
9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory 
celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.  
  
10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get 
up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Reread tips: Start over, 
but hurry; January is just around the corner.  

Remember this motto to live by: Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with 
the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body. But 
rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in hand, body thoroughly used up, totally 
worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO what a ride!"  
  
HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!  

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[real-eyes] Fw: Holiday Eating Tips

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