Something came to me this morning (after praying for guidance last night...I dunno about anyone else, but I have strong faith in the power of prayer.) It was something to the effect of "have I been pushing too hard on this photography for fun and profit thing?" If last night's cruise nite is any indication, the answer is, "yes." I spent way too long in a freeway parking lot to get to a sparsely-attended event that got rained out in the 7th inning, so to speak.
I've found that my love for cars and photography hasn't changed a bit. I can get as much enjoyment out of looking at the motor in a Borgward Isabella (see the photo) and trying to figure out if it's a DOHC motor (apparently not, everything I found in a brief search said OHV) as watching a Corvette powerslide thru a corner or seeing a 200 mph roadster on the salt.
But. The effort required to sell my photos and really turn it into a profit-making business is cutting into the fun. Big time. It's requiring me to work 12-16 hours a day, 7 days a week and I'm still not able to get everything done. In short, I'm not enjoying my insanity when it comes to the photography business.
I've hit that wall that I wrote about last night. The "big business vs the little guy" thing. Add in the constant scramble for media credentials and the that wall pops up in front of me again.
When I add the amount of physical and emotional energy it requires, I have to remember that I'm retired and on disability for a reason. I also have to ask myself, "why is my blood pressure running at 190 over 100?" Is stress a factor? How can it not be? How about the bouts of depression I've experienced over the last couple of months?
I wish I could say that I have a plan to deal with all of this, but I don't. If I take an honest look at what I just wrote, I see a lotta "cons" and no "pros."
Maybe it IS time to pull back. I don't know. I'm sure there's a point of moderation between putting an "I Quit" page on all my web sites one hand and continuing to use my head as a battering ram against the corporate walls. Maybe I just need to find it.
Meditation and contemplation to follow. r -- Sent from my Dreadnought using that barely tolerable Thunderbird email program
Attachment:
1959 Borgward 02r8.jpg
Description: JPEG image
