My brother Marty from PA starts off with, Sex after Surgery
A recent article in the San Francisco Examiner reported that Nancy
Pelosi
has sued Stanford Hospital, saying that
"after her husband had surgery there, he lost all interest in sex".
A hospital spokesman replied:
"Your husband was admitted for cataract surgery.
All we did was improve his eyesight.
1~
Geoff from FL brought back this classic, Last Kiss!
Back on January 9th, a group of Wadesboro, North Carolina bikers were
riding east on Hwy.74 when they saw a girl about to jump off the Pee
Dee River Bridge. So they stopped. George, their leader, a big burly
man of 53, gets off his Harley, walks through a group of gawkers, past
the State Trooper who was trying to talk her down off the railing, and
says, "Hey Baby.....whatcha doin' up there on that railin'?" She says
tearfully, "I'm going to commit suicide!!"
While he didn't want to appear "sensitive," George also didn't want to
miss this "be-a-legend" opportunity either so he asked ..."Well, before
you jump, Honey-Babe...why don't you give ol' George here your best
last kiss?"
So, with no hesitation at all, she leaned back over the railing and did
just that ... and it was a long, deep, lingering kiss followed
immediately by another even better one. After they breathlessly
finished, George gets a big thumbs-up approval from his biker-buddies,
the onlookers, and even the State Trooper, and then says, "Wow! That
was the best kiss I have ever had! That's a real talent you're wasting
there, Sugar Shorts. You could be famous if you rode with me. Why are
you committing suicide?"
"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl."
It's still unclear whether she jumped or was pushed.
~2`
Dale from ID also brought back a classic we relate to!
I like this idea
Subject: Understanding Seniors!
This made me feel better.... so I'm sharing it.
Brains of older people are slow because they know so much. People do
not decline mentally with age, it just takes them longer to recall
facts because they have more information in their brains, scientists
believe. Much like a computer struggles as the hard drive gets full,
so, too, do humans take longer to access information when their brains
are full.
Researchers say this slowing down process is not the same as cognitive
decline. The human brain works slower in old age, said Dr. Michael
Ramscar, but only because we have stored more information over time.
The brains of older people do not get weak. On the contrary, they
simply know more.
Also, older people often go to another room to get something and when
they get there, they stand there wondering what they came for. It is
NOT a memory problem, it is nature's way of making older people do more
exercise.
SO THERE!!
Now when I reach for a word or a name, I won't excuse myself by saying
"I'm having a senior moment". Now, I'll say, "My disk is full!"
I have more friends I should send this to, but right now I can't
remember their names.
So, please forward this to your friends; they may be my friends, too.
3~~~
Forwarding this last onewhich Artie from GA sent, hope the graphic
comes over!
The Magic Green Hat...
Visiting in Southwestern USA, I needed to go to the emergency room. Not
wanting to sit there for 4 hours,
I put on my MAGIC GREEN HAT.
When I went into the E.R., I noticed that 3/4 of the people got up and
left. I guess they decided that they weren't
that sick after all. It cut at least 3 hours off my waiting time.
Here's the hat:
It also works at Dept. of Motor Vehicles. It saved me 5 hours.
At the Laundromat, three minutes after entering, I had my choice of any
machine, most still running.
It might also cut your wait time at the grocery store.
But...don't try it at McDonald's
The whole crew ran out the back door and I never did get my order!
