Well, Jay, with apologies to our moderators I have held it in long enough and
it’s time.
I have never read anything like this on OBOL, though there is a faint
structural resemblance to earlier seminal works of Irons, Norgren, Geier,
Sullivan and others of the more, er, gifted obolniks. What’s the old saying,
“The ability to express himself has kept many a man poor.” Yeah.
A few comments on the text. I have to say that a well-placed nostril has
cranked my scooter more than once and the poet’s use of this concept is
laudable. Nothing like realism to make a poem really take off.
Likewise the graceful reference to gazing upon Queen Charlotte, see below,
which is a more vivid, almost Trumpian, image than Haida Gwaiis, whose
coastline, though identical, SEEMS harsher and doesn’t have quite the same
feminine…well, who am I to spoil the imagination of our readers.
“I’m empty and aching and I don’t know why. Counting the waves on the Queen
Charlotte coastline….”
As for the familiar introductory phrase, this is the Northwest, where it is
classified as recycling, not plagiarism. Put it to music and it’s called
quoting and is perfectly honorable. Worked for Haydn, works for Withgott.
The phrase “alcids dove” may sound simplistic to some, but not to anyone who
has ever birded the Oregon coast, where the damn things dive all the time. A
pity they don’t come up. And I dated a “peculiar Bill" in college, worked out
just fine so the poem feels kind of personal to me, though not everyone has had
that same experience, of course. I have his number if you…well, let’s move on.
I was a little put off by:
"looming cloud passed over the moon and they found themselves abruptly hurtling
through a foreboding and bewildering darkness, Blinded, disoriented, shaken,
unmoored, Suddenly fearful…”
and also by
"everything dear and sacred and seemingly eternal is not, in fact, assured, and
that all we love and value rests a thin knife-edge away from improbable
cataclysm."
Jay, haven’t we heard ENOUGH about the election already? Let’s focus on the
aesthetic, please.
Finally, this generally superb offering contains one technical error, "gulls
burped.” I don’t think they can, can they?
OBOL has occasionally hosted distinctive lexical endeavors. To encourage rapid
post-Thanksgiving digestion, I offer this OBOL post from 2005. This was posted
during the administration of W and some of it remains relevant today. I regret
to say that I don’t remember who wrote all of it. Part of it was mine. Part of
it I stole from other posters (identify yourselves if you dare!). I have saved
it for eleven years for the perfect occasion for re-release, and until now no
obolnik has truly earned it.
"Subject: New bird listing rules
The following announcement regarding U.S. bird listing rules is adapted from a
memo issued last fall by U.S. Justice Department spokesman Nero Fleurmquist.
As of November 3, all bird lists issued by the federal government must be
approved by the U.S. Department of Justice Office of Pure Taxonomy. Attorney
General John Ashcroft will examine each list. The following changes were
announced.
The English name of any species the name of which includes the word "breasted"
will be revised to use the word "upperfronted."
All species whose names contain the word "rump" will be revised to use the
word "tailbase."
All species using the name "California" are revised to use the word Liberal.
Streaked Shearwater is renamed Pinstriped Shearwater so it does not sound
quite so naked.
Flesh-footed Shearwater is lumped with Pink-footed to avoid use of the word
"Flesh."
All godwits are renamed "Mudstanders."
Pectoral Sandpiper is renamed "Brown Sandpiper."
All sapsuckers are renamed "Patriot Woodpeckers" in honor of the red color on
many of their upper fronts.
Eastern Bluebird is renamed Patriot Thrush.
Red-eyed Vireo is renamed Elegant Vireo because Red-eyed suggests the
consumption of alcohol.
Bushtit is renamed Least Chickadee for reasons that I trust are obvious.
Records of Eurasian tits will be referred to by their Latinate name parids.
Wrentit is renamed "Bluestate Skulker" since it occurs only in California and
Oregon.
All wagtails are renamed "Strollers."
Phainopepla is renamed "Blaxwing" because the Dept of Justice could not figure
out what Phainopepla means and there are a lot of them in California.
Palm Warbler is renamed Ground Warbler because the word Palm suggests...well,
never mind what it suggests.
Black-and-white Warbler is renamed True-and-False Warbler.
Hooded Warbler is renamed Rumsfeld's Warbler.
Flame-colored Tanager is removed from the U.S. list because it comes from
Mexico and could get people too excited.
Great-tailed Grackle is renamed "Demure Grackle," to the amusement of anyone
who has been within 200 yards of one.
Crossbills are renamed "Seedslayers."
Redpolls are renamed "Pinkish Siskins" after an unfortunate misunderstanding
regarding the spelling of the original name.
The only positive aspect of this new policy in Washington is that all mention
of hybridization is also forbidden because it is, well, not normal.
Thus we need not pay any attention to all those pink-footed gulls that are the
product of joint endeavor by different species.” OBOL, 2005
Happy Christmas Counts to all !
Alan Contreras
Eugene, Oregon
acontrer56@xxxxxxxxx
On Nov 24, 2016, at 4:35 PM, Jay Withgott <withgott@xxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
Hello All -- My epic prose-poem, "The Ballad of the Common Scoter," has
proven to be a monumental commercial flop, yet seems to be slowly garnering a
curious underground cult following. Since its publication on OBOL on 16
November, the reviews have been trickling in (although our resident
Poet-Laureate-Curmudgeon has thus far remained silent). I am posting this
shameless plug because in conversations recently a number of people have told
me they had completely missed the Ballad's historic and earth-shaking
publication and might not be able to go on living without it. The piece can
be found at:
//www.freelists.org/post/obol/The-Ballad-of-the-Common-Scoter.
Review excerpts from the OBOLiterati thus far include:
"Your ballad is moving and heartfelt. There is pathos, humor, commentary for
our times and leaves us with some hope which we all badly need right now. To
me, the Common Scoter was an emissary bringing the message of how small and
fragile our planet is."
"I just read the ballad again and somehow it soothed me. Thanks for your
poetic voice, your words to ponder, your sense of reality, and your
willingness to share your beliefs."
"Love it, birders welcomed him with glee despite no documentation. Bring on
the immigrants!"
"I had no idea! The author of avian bodice rippers here among us!"
"I just wanted to say how much I love your ballad. Very clever and touching!"
"Just read your OBOL published ballad aloud (with wonderment) to my husband
during dinner on the deck."
"Wow! Man! That is turgid prose! Prose with a purplescent gloss! Extra
exclamabangs encouraged! You should receive kudos from the scote-noscenti and
must chuckle away the napkin-spindling malcontents who dare flick a Bic
beneath you. I have never read a bird story like this, and I have savored it."
"Good thing I've been following the OBOL posts or I wouldn't have any idea
what you were talking about."
... and my favorite ....
"Somebody has waaaaay too much free time on their hands."
... It was therapy; what can I say?
On this Thanksgiving, let me give my own THANKS to the wonderful community on
OBOL, which I've enjoyed for 13 years now. As was expressed in a number of
posts following the scoter's discovery, we've got an exceptionally good thing
going here. Let's keep it up.
Peace, love, and good birding, everyone,
jw/PDX
POST: Send your post to obol@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
JOIN OR QUIT: //www.freelists.org/list/obol
OBOL archives: www.freelists.org/archive/obol
Contact moderator: obol-moderators@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
