[nasional_list] [ppiindia] A Society for Divorced Women
- From: "Ambon" <sea@xxxxxxxxxx>
- To: <"Undisclosed-Recipient:;"@freelists.org>
- Date: Thu, 23 Feb 2006 10:21:29 +0100
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seperti dibawah ini:
http://www.arabnews.com/?page=7§ion=0&article=78263&d=23&m=2&y=2006
Thursday, 23, February, 2006 (24, Muharram, 1427)
A Society for Divorced Women
Abeer Mishkhas, abeermishkhas@xxxxxxxxxxxx
In Al-Watan Arabic daily, I recently read a story about a
Saudi woman who wants to establish an organization that would assist divorced
women. The news item was very brief but it did refer to efforts by the female
academic to help divorced women deal with the psychological and social
pressures they are subjected to. Her proposal was based on a study done at King
Saud University that gave the number of divorced Saudi women as 400,000.
Nothing new about the numbers of divorcees in the Kingdom and as for the
reasons behind them, study after study has been done and most of them revealed
well-known reasons for the numbers. What the numbers hide and fail to indicate
is the divorced woman's predicament. When a woman's life is reduced to a number
in a statistical table, she is pushed into a certain group - but where can she
turn for help with her problems and difficulties?
I ask this question bearing in mind some specific cases that
I am aware of. They all involve divorced women who have simply given up hope in
our social justice and abandoned themselves to a monotonous and relatively
joyless life just because our society provides them no help, assistance or
support. If my readers will allow me, I will tell the story of one of these
women and leave the questions about justice hanging in the air, waiting for an
answer.
Salwa is a beautiful young woman who was married to a man who
was, in the eyes of Saudi society, "an ideal husband." He was handsome, from a
respectable family, had a good job and was well off. The first years of their
marriage were happy and they were looked upon as a perfect young couple. After
ten years of marriage, two sons and a daughter, Salwa noticed a change in her
husband. She soon found out that he had allegedly fallen in love with another
woman. It was not long from the shock of discovering that she had company in
her husband's heart to being told that he wanted a divorce. Salwa was soon
living alone with her children in a rented flat. So far, this is a sad but not
unknown story - not only in Saudi society but in many other societies around
the world. What is uniquely Saudi are the troubles and problems Salwa and most
other divorced women here have to face and endure on a daily basis.
First of all, society looks on a divorced woman like Salwa as
a third class citizen - not a first class one (a man) or a second class one (a
woman, either single or married). Being a third class citizen is bad enough but
being a third class citizen with children is very difficult indeed. Her only
hope of changing her life and the lives of her children for the better is to
marry an older man or to marry someone as his second wife.
Meanwhile, Salwa's former husband is leading a happy life. He
got what he wanted; indeed, as a Saudi man, he was used to getting what he
wanted. Even when he was married to Salwa, things were done as he wanted -
including access to her salary and savings, which she willingly granted him. As
soon as he and his new wife had settled down, he arranged to see his children
on weekends that then began to extend into the week. When that happened, the
children missed school and though Salwa told him their teachers were
complaining, he decided the easiest thing to do would be to keep the children
with him and maybe, only maybe, allow Salwa access to them on weekends. When
she protested and pointed out that she was the legal guardian of two of the
children who were still under seven, he told her in effect to bang her head
against the nearest wall. Naturally, she then went to the court for help and
was shocked to be told by the judge that she was not legally divorced si
nce there was no document saying so. There was no way to reach her former
husband as he was out of the country. The children had not been taken abroad
with him but were left with an elderly relative who would not allow Salwa to
see them.
This is a very short story, leaving aside family pressures on
Salwa, to say nothing of her heartache and misery. My question is what could
the organization which the Saudi female academic wants to establish do for
Salwa and other divorced women? Dare I say nothing? In the end, there is no law
that holds men accountable or grants women safety, security and the certainty
that they can get the rights that the law should guarantee them.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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