[mit-ac6] [no subject]
- From: "CrAshOvErDriVe" <homie_29@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- To: mit-ac6@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Fri, 15 Nov 2002 06:23:14 -0600
Loneliness strikes me at the oddest moments: after a fight with a friend,
when the phone doesn't ring, when I see people holding hands on the street,
when a distant acquaintance hugs me.
When I get lonely, I stop talking, usually, and spend lots of time crying.
It's not fun to experience. But it's usually just a matter of waiting it
out.
I tell myself things while I wait for my mental pain to subside--things to
combat the negative generalities. Thinking "No one likes me!" is not
helpful and is usually wrong, too. My parents love me at the very least,
and so do my closest friends (I think). "Everybody hates me!" doesn't work,
either. I mean, plenty of people have never even met me.
Sometimes, the key to feeling like I have friends is cultivating the
relationships I already have. After all, feeling lonely isn't just about
whether or not I have friends--it's FEELING like I have friends. Sometimes
it seems as if no matter what I do, there's no way to "fit in" with a group
I want to be a part of. But in most cases, I've found that folks who aren't
interested in me at all don't make very good friends.
Every now and then, I see something in myself that I can change and
improve. I see little avenues for trying to be the person I want to be.
I've learned to dance, to dress well, to have a better temper, to write, to
sing, to tell off the jerk who pisses me off. In my good moments, I think I
can learn to be unlonely, too.
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