[mit-ac6] KWELA SA ISKUL! no offence meant!
- From: mark paulo <darwindares@xxxxxxxxx>
- To: mit-ac6@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Tue, 19 Aug 2003 01:16:28 -0700 (PDT)
Barkada sa Hunting
Tatlong magkaka-barkada: a La Sallite, a UP student, and an Atenean went on a
hunting trip. The first night, the guy from UP comes back to the cabin with a
big deer. The others ask him how he did it, and he coolly replies: "I saw the
tracks, I followed the tracks, and bang! I got the deer!" The next night, the
guy from Ateneo comes back also with a big deer. "I saw the tracks, I followed
the tracks, and bang! I got the deer!" was the Atenean's story. Therefore, the
La Sallite decides to try it himself. However, the next night, as he drags
himself back to the cabin, his two companions find him bruised and bloody all
over. "What happened?" they ask. "Well," replies the La Sallite, "I saw the
tracks, I followed the tracks, and bang! A train hit me."
A Murder Mystery
Who committed the murder? Suspects: The Humble Atenean, The Bright La Sallite,
The Innocent Maryknoller, The Unaffected Assumptionista, The UP Graduate
Culprit: The UP Graduate Logic: No such thing as a Humble Atenean or a Bright
La Sallite or an Innocent Maryknoller or an Unaffected Assumptionista.
How to Identify a La Sallite
A La Sallite walks into a store in Mega Mall and says: "Miss, I'd like a green
parrot, please." The salesgirl looks at him and asks: "Sir, are you a La
Sallite, by any chance?" The La Sallite replies: "O... bakit mo naman natanong
'yan? If I ordered BLUE cheese, would you ask me if I were from Ateneo? I don't
think so. If I bought a MAROON shirt, would you ask me if I were from UP? I
think not. So why then, when I want to buy a GREEN parrot, do you ask me if I'm
from La Salle?" "Sir, kasi naman..." replied the salesgirl, "this is a flower
shop, eh."
Pasikatan ng Gradweyts
UP: A number of past Philippine presidents graduated from UP. Presidents Roxas,
Quirino, Laurel, Garcia and Marcos, to name just a few! ATENEO: Hah! That's
nothing, a number of Ateneo graduates became national heroes like Jose Rizal,
Gen. Gregorio del Pilar, Gen. Antonio Luna, Evelio Javier and many others. UP:
That just goes to show you, UP graduates become presidents and lead countries
while Atenean end up getting shot! LA SALLE: Wala 'yan. Talo kayo sa mga
gradweyt namin! UP & ATENEO: Bakit sino ba ang mga graduates ninyo? LA SALLE:
Aba! Marami kaming sikat na gradweyts; si Gary Valenciano, Dingdong Avanzado,
Ogie Alcasid, Monsour del Rosario . .
Question and Answer
Q: What should an Atenean do when a La Sallite hurls a grenade at him? A: The
Atenean should pick up the grenade, pull the firing pin and hurl it back at the
La Sallite. Q: How do La Sallites count to ten? A: One, two, three, another,
another, and another.
Christmas Spirit
A few days before Christmas, the Monsignor thought it would be a good idea if
he solicited the support of a number of schools to get together to create a
Nativity Scene in time for the Christmas Mass. The day before Christmas, the
Monsignor discovered that the Nativity Scene was still incomplete so he made a
few inquiries on why this was so. Ateneo reported it could come up with only
two and not three wise men. La Salle reported it could not come up with even a
single wise man. Maryknoll reported that it could not come up with even a
single virgin. San Beda reported that it could only come up with three wise
gays. UP reported that they killed the three wise men.
Mahirap Lahat
Sa UP, mahirap ang Math. Sa Ateneo, mahirap ang English. Sa La Salle, mahirap
ang parking. Sa Assumption, mahirap ang walang pera. Sa UST, mahirap umuwi
kapag baha. Sa St. Scho, mahirap sumakay sa LRT Sa San Beda, mahirap maging
lalaki.
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