[lit-ideas] PARODY! IRONY! NOT NEWS!
- From: John McCreery <mccreery@xxxxxxx>
- To: lit-ideas@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Thu, 15 Jul 2004 11:26:58 +0900
Thought I'd better issue the warning, since this little fiction is so
easy to mistake for truth.
> Teacher arrested
>
> At Phoenix Sky Harbor Airport today, an individual later discovered to
> be a
> public school teacher was arrested trying to board a flight while in
> possession of a ruler, a protractor, a setsquare, a slide rule, and a
> calculator. At a morning press conference, Attorney General John
> Ashcroft
> said he believes the man is a member of the notorious al-gebra
> movement. He
> is being charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.
>
> "Al-gebra is a fearsome cult," Ashcroft said. "They desire average
> solutions
> by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of
> absolute value. They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and refer
> to
> themselves as 'unknowns', but we have determined they belong to a
> common
> denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country.
> As
> the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'there are 3 sides to
> every
> triangle'.
>
> When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had
> wanted
> us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us
> more
> fingers and toes."
Enjoy.
John L. McCreery
The Word Works, Ltd.
55-13-202 Miyagaya, Nishi-ku
Yokohama, Japan 220-0006
Tel 81-45-314-9324
Email mccreery@xxxxxxx
"Making Symbols is Our Business"
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