[lit-ideas] Re: My Greek Coach
- From: Jlsperanza@xxxxxxx
- To: lit-ideas@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Fri, 14 Dec 2007 10:15:53 EST
"Today I'll teach you to masturbate"
Khiron, to Achilles.
FROM HOMERIC TO HOMOEROTIC VIA HOMOSOCIAL TO AUTOEROTIC
We are discussing Martial's epigrams.
I wrote they were
"tr. by Mr. Ker, barrister-in-law, etc."
"Is his first name 'Wan'? I may know him."
Well, he went by "Wan" but his real name is
WALTER C. A. KER, M. A.
sometime scholar of Trinity College, Cambridge
of the Inner Temple, Barrister-at-Law.
And he provides his address (1919) as being
7 Fig Tree Court, TEMPLE
He writes: "Quintilian seems to have advised Martial to take up a
profession, perhaps the bar, but Martial preferred, as he says, to make the
most of
life while he could."
Ker refers to "Pereunt et imputantur"
---- Martial is well loved
''' above all for that tender sigh for the shortness of mortality, which has
framed a thousand dials, and has from the Temple walls reminded many a
generation of lawyers of the fleeting hours."
-- Oddly, when Ker found an epigram too bad for a lady to hear (never a
male, 'indecency', he tells us, is 'fashionable with summi et gravissimi viri')
he uses a translation by GIUSPANIO GRAGLA (London, 1791). One goes
PONTICE QVOD NVMQVAM FVTVIS SED PAELICE LAEVA
UTERIS ET VENERI SERVIT AMICA MANUS
HOC NIHIL ESSE PUTAS SCELUS EST MIHI CREDE SED INGENS
QUANTUM VIX ANIMO CONCIPIS IPSE TUO.
NEME SEMEL FUTUIT GENERARET HORATIUS UT TRES
MARS SEMEL UT GEMINOS ILIA CASTA DARET
OMNIA PERDIDERANT SI MASTURBATUS UTERQUE
MANDASSET MANIBUS GAUDIA FOEDA SUIS
IPSAM CREDE TIBI NATURAM DICERE RERUM
ISTUD QUOD DIGITIS PONTICE PERDIS HOMO EST.
I append the translation PMDG -- a Latin assignment at school
PONTICE QVOD NUMQUAM FUTUIS SED PAELICE LAEVA
Ponticus, you only f*ck your fist.
AMICA MANUS SERVIT UTERIS ET VENERI
That complaisant left hand is your sole mistress.
HOC NIHIL ESSE
No big deal, you say?
CREDE INGENS EST PUTAS SCELUS
Believe me pal, it's a major crime.
QUANTUM VIX ANIMO CONCIPIS IPSE TUO
More than you can imagine.
HORATIUS FUTUIT SEMEL
Horatius fucked just once
UT GENERARET TRES
and sired three sons;
MARS SEMEL
Mars did the same,
UT CASTA ILIA DARET GEMINOS
and Ilia bore twins.
OMNIA PERDIDERANT SI MASTURBATUS UTERQUE
If either guy had jerked off in his hand,
MANDASSET MANIBUS GAUDIA FOEDA SUIS
Down the drain with natural increase!
IPSAM CREDE TIBI NATURAM DICERE RERUM
Mother Nature is displeased. She chides you:
PONTICE QVOD NUMQUAM FUTUIS SED PAELICE LAEVA
The sticky stuff that's dripping from your fingers is a human
being, Ponticus.
Now the Italian,
O, Pontico, il perche tu mai immembri, ma usi l'adultera tua sinistra, e
l'amica mano serve a Venere, pensi tu che cio sa niente? E una sceleragine,
credimi, ma si grande e tale, che appena tu stesso la concepisci nell'animo
tuo.
In fatti Orazio immembro una volta sola perche generasse tre figliuoli; Marte
una volta perche la casta Ilia dasse i gemelli. L'uno e l'altro avrebbe
distrutto ogni cosa se quel masturbatore avesse abbandonato i sozzi piaceri
alle
sue mani. Credi che la natura stessa delle cose ti dice: 'ci che, o Pontico,
distruggi colle ditta e un uomo".
Another one:
"You say that the breath of unnatural rascals smells"
PEDICONIBUS OS OLERE DICIS
If this be, as you say, true, Fabullus
HOC SIT, SICUT AIS, FABULLE
what do you imagine is the smell of some others?
QUID TU CREDIT OLERE CUNNILINGIS."
----
And this one I dedicate to Geary, for when he's in the moody mood of
suicidicasticallism:
You admire, Vacerra, the ancients alone
MIRARIS VETERA, VACERRA, SOLOS.
And praise none but dead poets
NEC LAUDAS NISI MORTUOUS POETAS.
Your pardon pray, Vacerra
IGNOSCAS PETIMUS, VACERRA:
It is not worth my while
TANTI NON EST
merely to please you
UT PLACEAM TIBI
to die
PERIRE.
--- Incidentally, Donal, the statue of the man holding the roll was
Demosthenes's, not Socrates. And I thought you would find the context of
Demosthenes
'haranguing' the waters.
Cheers,
J. L.
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