I actually have a t-shirt that reads "Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read." From a bookstore in Denver via my brother. I don't wear it, but I love it. Great stuff, yes.
U. Mike Geary wrote:
OK, then, if Walter can get away that Borscht Belt business, I have every right to quote my favorite jokester of them all Groucho Marx: (1) Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana. (2) Either he's dead or my watch has stopped. (3) A man's only as old as the woman he feels. (4) All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats. (4) Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot. (5) Before I speak, I have something important to say. (5) Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. (6) Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted. (7) Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now you tell me what you know. (8) Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me? (9) Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?(10) Women should be obscene and not heard. Oh, Lord, I just love that man. Mike Geary Memphis ----- Original Message ----- From: <wokshevs@xxxxxx> To: <lit-ideas@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>; "Robert Paul" <rpaul@xxxxxxxx> Cc: <lit-ideas@xxxxxxxxxxxxx> Sent: Tuesday, March 06, 2007 4:47 PM Subject: [lit-ideas] Re: Annie Hall JokeGuy walks into a psychiatrist's office and says:"Doctor, you gotta help me!! I don't know what to do and I'm at the end of myrope!"Doctor (lighting a long, thick Cuban cigar, brought in from Canada natuerlich):"Vell, vy don't you zit down und tsell me ze problem you're having." Guy: "It's not me, Doc ... it's my brother!"Doctor: "Ah zo ist die geschichte! Vell, vat seems to be ze problem mit yourbruzer?"Guy: "Oh, doctor, it's so humiliating! I can barely say it. You see .... you see ... he thinks ... he thinks ... he's a .... a ... (sobs uncontrollably)... aCHICKEN !!!"Doctor: "Vell, Zigmund never told us about anysing like zat. Zat EEZ very eenteresting. Vy don't you have him committed here at our institution und ve'llrun a few tests on him, if you know vat I mean."Guy: "Well, doctor, you see we would. But ... but ... [scroll down for it ....](sob) we really need the eggs." Borscht belt ueberhaupt, Walter O. Quoting Robert Paul <rpaul@xxxxxxxx>:Two electrons were walking down te street. One says, I've lost one of my electrons.* The other asks, Are you sure? To which the first replies, I'm positive. *Alternatively: I've lost an electron. This is the echt version, and the only one that exhibits jokiness. Simon's version, alas, lacks jokiness because there's nothing especially funny about the reply 'You're positive.' The version above gets whatever humor or humour it has from the play on 'positive' to mean 'positive charge' and 'positive to mean 'I'm sure (certain,' etc.), and from the double meaning of 'lost' (misplaced vs. physically changed), Of course, if Omar's right, 'I'm positive,' used to mean 'I'm sure,' etc. is an idiom peculiar to American English. So? It's an American joke, right? Simon's version was >>> Two atoms walking down the street. >>> One loses an electron. >>> The other says: "You're positive." What's odd about all this is that I only heard this joke a couple of months ago, and I'd swear I heard it on lit-ideas. Robert Paul, beating the obvious over the head, somewhere south of Reed College ------------------------------------------------------------------ To change your Lit-Ideas settings (subscribe/unsub, vacation on/off, digest on/off), visit www.andreas.com/faq-lit-ideas.html------------------------------------------------------------------ To change your Lit-Ideas settings (subscribe/unsub, vacation on/off,digest on/off), visit www.andreas.com/faq-lit-ideas.html------------------------------------------------------------------ To change your Lit-Ideas settings (subscribe/unsub, vacation on/off, digest on/off), visit www.andreas.com/faq-lit-ideas.html
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