[guispeak] FW: A Little Screen Reader Humor
- From: Andy Baracco <wq6r@xxxxxxxxxxxx>
- To: guispeak@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Tue, 04 Apr 2006 20:31:58 -0700
THIS IS FUNNY.
ANDY
FT. WAYNE, INDIANA... FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE. GW MICRO IS PLEASED TO
ANNOUNCE THE RELEASE OF WINDOW-EYES FOR JAWS. THIS EXCITING NEW PRODUCT
WILL REVOLUTIONIZE SCREEN READING TECHNOLOGY. SCREEN READING HAS NEVER
BEEN EASIER. WINDOW-EYES FOR JAWS PROVIDES YOU THE BEST OF BOTH WORLDS
- THE POWER OF JAWS AND THE EASE OF USE OF WINDOW-EYES.
WINDOW-EYES FOR JAWS READS WHAT JAWS ALONE WILL NOT, PROVIDES EASE OF
USE JAWS CANNOT, AND GIVES ACCESS TO SETTINGS THAT NO ONE CAN FIND IN
JAWS. "SOME PEOPLE ASKED US WHY WE'D RELEASE A SCREEN READER FOR A
SCREEN READER," SAID DAN WEIRICH OF GW MICRO. BUT IF THEY HAD EVER USED
JAWS, THEY WOULDN'T HAVE HAD TO ASK." LET'S FACE IT. NO SCREEN READER
IS PERFECT. BUT JAWS HAS BEEN REMARKABLY FOUL OF LATE.
AND EVEN SO, PEOPLE AND ORGANIZATIONS JUST KEEP BUYING IT. WELL AT GW
MICRO, WE'RE NOT GOING TO GIVE UP. OUR MOTTO IS - IF WE CAN'T BEAT
THEM, WE'LL JOIN THEM - AND DO IT BETTER. SO OUR "MIDDLEWARE"
SCREEN READER, WINDOW-EYES FOR JAWS IS A LOGICAL PROGRESSION FOR US.
HERE ARE ANSWERS TO SOME QUESTIONS RAISED BY OUR EXCITING NEW
PRODUCT: WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY "MIDDLEWARE" SCREEN READER? MIDDLEWARE IS
NORMALLY A LAYER OF PROGRAMMING THAT LETS DIFFERENT PROGRAMS TALK TO
EACH OTHER. MICROSOFT ACTIVE ACCESSIBILITY IS "MIDDLEWARE" THAT
PROVIDES ACCESSIBILITY INFORMATION. WELL, WINDOW-EYES FOR JAWS IS
MIDDLEWARE THAT PROVIDES A USABILITY LAYER, TRANSLATING INFORMATION
FROM JAWS INTO HUMAN UNDERSTANDABLE TERMS, AND ORGANIZING JAWS SETTINGS
INTO A COMPREHENSIBLE INTERFACE, TO MAKE IT POSSIBLE TO ACTUALLY USE
JAWS WITHOUT YEARS OF STUDY. IF YOU'VE EVER USED JAWS ON THE INTERNET,
YOU KNOW WHY WINDOW-EYES FOR JAWS IS AN ESSENTIAL ADDITION. IF YOU
DON'T CODE HTML BY HAND, YOU PROBABLY SCRATCH YOUR HEAD WHEN USING JAWS
ON THE INTERNET. WHO KNOWS OR CARES WHAT A BLOCKQUOTE, ONMOUSEOVER, OR
ANCHOR ARE? WITH WINDOW-EYES FOR JAWS YOU DON'T HAVE TO KNOW! WILL I
HAVE TO CHANGE SETTINGS IN MULTIPLE PLACES? NOT ONCE YOU INSTALL
WINDOW-EYES FOR JAWS! EVER TRY TO FIND WHERE TO CHANGE PUNCTUATION IN
JAWS? YOU HAVE LOTS OF CHOICES: THE VOICES DIALOGS, THE VERBOSITY
DIALOG, OR TWO OR THREE DIFFERENT PLACES IN CONFIGURATION MANAGER... NO
MORE! WITH WINDOW-EYES FOR JAWS, ALL YOUR PUNCTUATION SETTINGS ARE IN
ONE LOCATION! IN FACT, ALL SETTINGS ARE EASIER TO FIND AND CHANGE. WHAT
ABOUT SAPI VOICES?
THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO WORK IN JAWS, BUT THAT'S ONLY AN UNSUBSTANTIATED
RUMOR - UNTIL NOW! GET WINDOW-EYES FOR JAWS AND USE ANY SAPI
SYNTHESIZER YOU HAVE INSTALLED, AND WITH THE ADDED BONUS OF NO CRASHES!
HOW STABLE WILL THIS PROGRAM BE, RUNNING ON SUCH AN UNSTABLE PLATFORM?
WINDOW-EYES HAS A ROCK SOLID REPUTATION FOR STABILITY. IF WE CAN DO
THAT IN WINDOWS, WE CAN DO IT IN JAWS. WILL I BE ABLE TO USE THIRD
PARTY PROGRAMS? WE ADMIT, JAWS DOESN'T SUPPORT MUCH MORE THAN MICROSOFT
OFFICE THESE DAYS, BUT WITH WINDOW-EYES FOR JAWS YOU CAN RUN ALL OF
YOUR FAVORITE PROGRAMS.
WINDOW-EYES FOR JAWS EXTENDS THE SUPPORT YOU GET BEYOND OFFICE
ENVIRONMENTS. LIFE IS ABOUT MORE THAN WORK SO ENJOY IT! WHAT ABOUT
SYNTHESIZERS AND BRAILLE DISPLAYS? USING THESE DEVICES IN JAWS HAS
NEVER BEEN EASY. SELECT IT WHEN YOU INSTALL JAWS OR REINSTALL IT TO GET
THEM TO WORK. BUT WITH WINDOW-EYES FOR JAWS, JUST SELECT YOUR BRAILLE
DISPLAY OR SYNTHESIZER FROM A LIST, AND YOU DON'T EVEN NEED TO RESTART
THE PROGRAM! AND WINDOW-EYES FOR JAWS FULLY SUPPORTS USING YOUR BRAILLE
SENSE AS A DISPLAY! I'M NOT A PROGRAMMER; WILL I HAVE TO LEARN TO WRITE
SCRIPTS? ABSOLUTELY NOT! IF YOU'RE A REAL GLUTTON FOR PUNISHMENT AND
HATE YOURSELF AND LIFE IN GENERAL, YOU
*CAN* WRITE SCRIPTS... BUT WITH WINDOW-EYES FOR JAWS YOU DON'T HAVE TO
SUBMIT TO SUCH TORTURE! AND ARE YOU TIRED OF FRAMES THAT BREAK EVERY
TIME YOU RESTART A PROGRAM? NO MORE! WINDOW-EYES FOR JAWS GIVES YOU ALL
THE EASY TO USE CUSTOMIZATION TOOLS THAT HA????èù?
THIS IS FUNNY.
ANDY
FT. WAYNE, INDIANA... FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE. GW MICRO IS PLEASED TO
ANNOUNCE THE RELEASE OF WINDOW-EYES FOR JAWS. THIS EXCITING NEW PRODUCT
WILL REVOLUTIONIZE SCREEN READING TECHNOLOGY. SCREEN READING HAS NEVER
BEEN EASIER. WINDOW-EYES FOR JAWS PROVIDES YOU THE BEST OF BOTH WORLDS
- THE POWER OF JAWS AND THE EASE OF USE OF WINDOW-EYES.
WINDOW-EYES FOR JAWS READS WHAT JAWS ALONE WILL NOT, PROVIDES EASE OF
USE JAWS CANNOT, AND GIVES ACCESS TO SETTINGS THAT NO ONE CAN FIND IN
JAWS. "SOME PEOPLE ASKED US WHY WE'D RELEASE A SCREEN READER FOR A
SCREEN READER," SAID DAN WEIRICH OF GW MICRO. BUT IF THEY HAD EVER USED
JAWS, THEY WOULDN'T HAVE HAD TO ASK." LET'S FACE IT. NO SCREEN READER
IS PERFECT. BUT JAWS HAS BEEN REMARKABLY FOUL OF LATE.
AND EVEN SO, PEOPLE AND ORGANIZATIONS JUST KEEP BUYING IT. WELL AT GW
MICRO, WE'RE NOT GOING TO GIVE UP. OUR MOTTO IS - IF WE CAN'T BEAT
THEM, WE'LL JOIN THEM - AND DO IT BETTER. SO OUR "MIDDLEWARE"
SCREEN READER, WINDOW-EYES FOR JAWS IS A LOGICAL PROGRESSION FOR US.
HERE ARE ANSWERS TO SOME QUESTIONS RAISED BY OUR EXCITING NEW
PRODUCT: WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY "MIDDLEWARE" SCREEN READER? MIDDLEWARE IS
NORMALLY A LAYER OF PROGRAMMING THAT LETS DIFFERENT PROGRAMS TALK TO
EACH OTHER. MICROSOFT ACTIVE ACCESSIBILITY IS "MIDDLEWARE" THAT
PROVIDES ACCESSIBILITY INFORMATION. WELL, WINDOW-EYES FOR JAWS IS
MIDDLEWARE THAT PROVIDES A USABILITY LAYER, TRANSLATING INFORMATION
FROM JAWS INTO HUMAN UNDERSTANDABLE TERMS, AND ORGANIZING JAWS SETTINGS
INTO A COMPREHENSIBLE INTERFACE, TO MAKE IT POSSIBLE TO ACTUALLY USE
JAWS WITHOUT YEARS OF STUDY. IF YOU'VE EVER USED JAWS ON THE INTERNET,
YOU KNOW WHY WINDOW-EYES FOR JAWS IS AN ESSENTIAL ADDITION. IF YOU
DON'T CODE HTML BY HAND, YOU PROBABLY SCRATCH YOUR HEAD WHEN USING JAWS
ON THE INTERNET. WHO KNOWS OR CARES WHAT A BLOCKQUOTE, ONMOUSEOVER, OR
ANCHOR ARE? WITH WINDOW-EYES FOR JAWS YOU DON'T HAVE TO KNOW! WILL I
HAVE TO CHANGE SETTINGS IN MULTIPLE PLACES? NOT ONCE YOU INSTALL
WINDOW-EYES FOR JAWS! EVER TRY TO FIND WHERE TO CHANGE PUNCTUATION IN
JAWS? YOU HAVE LOTS OF CHOICES: THE VOICES DIALOGS, THE VERBOSITY
DIALOG, OR TWO OR THREE DIFFERENT PLACES IN CONFIGURATION MANAGER... NO
MORE! WITH WINDOW-EYES FOR JAWS, ALL YOUR PUNCTUATION SETTINGS ARE IN
ONE LOCATION! IN FACT, ALL SETTINGS ARE EASIER TO FIND AND CHANGE. WHAT
ABOUT SAPI VOICES?
THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO WORK IN JAWS, BUT THAT'S ONLY AN UNSUBSTANTIATED
RUMOR - UNTIL NOW! GET WINDOW-EYES FOR JAWS AND USE ANY SAPI
SYNTHESIZER YOU HAVE INSTALLED, AND WITH THE ADDED BONUS OF NO CRASHES!
HOW STABLE WILL THIS PROGRAM BE, RUNNING ON SUCH AN UNSTABLE PLATFORM?
WINDOW-EYES HAS A ROCK SOLID REPUTATION FOR STABILITY. IF WE CAN DO
THAT IN WINDOWS, WE CAN DO IT IN JAWS. WILL I BE ABLE TO USE THIRD
PARTY PROGRAMS? WE ADMIT, JAWS DOESN'T SUPPORT MUCH MORE THAN MICROSOFT
OFFICE THESE DAYS, BUT WITH WINDOW-EYES FOR JAWS YOU CAN RUN ALL OF
YOUR FAVORITE PROGRAMS.
WINDOW-EYES FOR JAWS EXTENDS THE SUPPORT YOU GET BEYOND OFFICE
ENVIRONMENTS. LIFE IS ABOUT MORE THAN WORK SO ENJOY IT! WHAT ABOUT
SYNTHESIZERS AND BRAILLE DISPLAYS? USING THESE DEVICES IN JAWS HAS
NEVER BEEN EASY. SELECT IT WHEN YOU INSTALL JAWS OR REINSTALL IT TO GET
THEM TO WORK. BUT WITH WINDOW-EYES FOR JAWS, JUST SELECT YOUR BRAILLE
DISPLAY OR SYNTHESIZER FROM A LIST, AND YOU DON'T EVEN NEED TO RESTART
THE PROGRAM! AND WINDOW-EYES FOR JAWS FULLY SUPPORTS USING YOUR BRAILLE
SENSE AS A DISPLAY! I'M NOT A PROGRAMMER; WILL I HAVE TO LEARN TO WRITE
SCRIPTS? ABSOLUTELY NOT! IF YOU'RE A REAL GLUTTON FOR PUNISHMENT AND
HATE YOURSELF AND LIFE IN GENERAL, YOU
*CAN* WRITE SCRIPTS... BUT WITH WINDOW-EYES FOR JAWS YOU DON'T HAVE TO
SUBMIT TO SUCH TORTURE! AND ARE YOU TIRED OF FRAMES THAT BREAK EVERY
TIME YOU RESTART A PROGRAM? NO MORE! WINDOW-EYES FOR JAWS GIVES YOU ALL
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