[guide.chat] smart arse answers

From: "Harold Kitching" <harold.kitching01@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
To: "Forum chats guade forum" <guide.chat@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>, "mrs villa" <mrsvilla4@xxxxxxxxx>, "Keith Wines" <muckyduck2@xxxxxxxxx>
Date: Wed, 8 Feb 2012 11:36:09 -0000

Subject: Fw: Fwd: Fw: Top 5 smart answers

 
 

 

 

 

 
                                       Who needs excuses

SMART ARSE ANSWER 5
It was mealtime during a flight on a British Airways plane:  
"Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked the man seated in the
front row. 
"What are my choices?" the man asked.  
"Yes or no," she replied.

 

SMART ARSE ANSWER 4
A lady was picking through the frozen Chickens at a Tesco store but she
couldn't find one big enough for her family.  
She asked a passing assistant, "Do these Chickens get any bigger?" 
The assistant replied, "I'm afraid not, they're dead."

 

SMART ARSE ANSWER 3
The policeman got out of his car and the teenager he stopped for speeding
rolled down his window.  
"I've been waiting for you all day," the Cop said.  
The kid replied, "Well I got here as fast as I could."  
When the policeman finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way
without a ticket.

 

SMART ARSE ANSWER 2 
A truck driver was driving along on a country road.  A sign came up that
read " Low Bridge Ahead." 
Before he realised it, the bridge was directly ahead and he got stuck under
it. 
Cars were backed up for miles.  Finally, a police car arrived.

The policeman got out of his car and walked to the truck's cab and said to
the driver, "Got stuck, eh?" 
The truck driver said, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of
diesel!"

 

SMART ARSE ANSWER OF THE YEAR
A teacher at a West Australian High School reminded her pupils of next days'
final exam. 
"Now listen to me, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here
tomorrow.  I might consider a nuclear attack, a serious personal injury,
illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other
excuses whatsoever!" 
A smart-arsed teenager at the back of the room raised his hand and asked,
"What would happen if I came in tomorrow suffering from complete and utter
sexual exhaustion?" 
The entire class was reduced to laughter and sniggering.

When silence was restored, the teacher smiled at the student, shook her head
and sweetly said,

   "Well dear, I would expect you to write the exam with your other hand."
  

You will

[guide.chat] smart arse answers

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