[guide.chat] blond men jokes

From: "harold kitching" <harold.kitching01@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
To: "pam camidge" <pam.camidge@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx>, "guide chat" <guide.chat@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Date: Thu, 21 Mar 2013 21:49:12 -0000
:Fwd: Blonde MEN jokes

Finally Blonde MEN Jokes
   
    A friend told the blond man: "Christmas is on a Friday this year." The 
blond man then said, "Let's hope it's not the 13th." 
    ------------------------------------
    
    Two blond men find three grenades, and they decide to take them to a police 
station.
    One asked: "What if one explodes before we get there?" The other says: 
"We'll lie and say we only found two." 
    ------------------------------------
    
    
    A woman phoned her blonde neighbour man and said: "Close your curtains the 
next time you & your wife are having sex. The whole street was watching and 
laughing at you yesterday." To which the blonde man replied: "Well the joke's 
on all of you because I wasn't even at home yesterday." 
    ------------------------------------
    
    A blonde man is in the bathroom and his wife shouts: "Did you find the 
shampoo?" He answers, "Yes, but I'm not sure what to do.... it's for dry hair, 
and I've just wet mine." 
    ------------------------------
    
    A blonde man goes to the vet with his goldfish. "I think it's got 
epilepsy," he tells the vet. The vet takes a look and says, "It seems calm 
enough to me." The blonde man says, "Wait, I haven't taken it out of the bowl 
yet." 
    ------------------------------------
    
    A blond man spies a letter lying on his doormat. It says on the envelope 
"DO NOT BEND ". He spends the next 2 hours trying to figure out how to pick it 
up. 
    ------------------------------------
    
    A blond man shouts frantically into the phone "My wife is pregnant and her 
contractions are only two minutes apart!" 
    "Is this her first child?" asks the Doctor. "No!" he shouts, "this is her 
husband!" 
    ------------------------------------
    
    A blonde man was driving home, drunk as a skunk. Suddenly he has to swerve 
to avoid a tree, then another, then another. A cop car pulls him over, so he 
tells the cop about all the trees in the road. The cop says, "That's your air 
freshener swinging about!" 
    ------------------------------------
    
    A blonde man's dog goes missing and he is frantic.. His wife says "Why 
don't you put an ad in the paper?" He does, but two weeks later the dog is 
still missing. "What did you put in the paper?" his wife asks. "Here boy!" he 
replies. 
    ------------------------------------
    
    A blond man is in jail. Guard looks in his cell and sees him
    hanging by his feet. "Just WHAT are you doing?" he asks. 
    "Hanging myself," the blond replies. "It should be around your neck" says 
the guard. "I tried that," he replies, "but then I couldn't breathe." 
    ------------------------------------
    
    (This one actually makes sense.) 
    An Italian tourist asks a blonde man: "Why do Scuba divers always fall 
backwards off their boats?"
    To which the blonde man replies: "If they fell forward, they'd still be in 
the boat."
[guide.chat] blond men jokes

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